The Beginning Story: Draft 0

Translator's Note: The following is a translated chapter of Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Beginning Story. It has been marked up to improve readability. Underlined text indicates the dialogue was cut or modified by the final draft; Striked text indicates the dialogue was added after Draft 0.

Revisiting Draft 0

Toggle original text: Revisiting Draft 0 "Make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!" Everything began from here. The script of Madoka Magica had undergone numerous revisions before finalizing. In this chapter, we reprint parts of Draft 0 as originally written by Gen Urobuchi to highlight what did changed. We also asked Gen for his reasons for making these changes. The state of completeness of Draft 0 was simply astonishing. Nearly every character had made their debut, and all the scenes written. From Draft 0 to Final Script, it's hard to pinpoint any significant changes beyond general editing. Everything were there from the first words - Kaname Madoka's tenacity, Akemi Homura's drive and will, Miki Sayaka's gentleness, Sakura Kyouko's toughness, and Tomoe Mami's naivety. Gen managed to craft a scenario rich in both philosophical ideals and vivid portrayal of the dreams and anguish of magical girls. Reading Draft 0 allows us to truly appreciate the genius wordsmith that is Gen Urobuchi. "I remember that. And I will never forget it. That is why... I will keep on fighting."

シナリオO稿と考察 「僕と契約して、魔法少女になってよ!」。すべてはここからはじまったーー。『魔法少女まどかカマギカ』のシナリオは完成するまでに数稿を重ねている。ここでは虚淵玄が最初に執筆した『O稿」の中でシーンが変更されているものを虚淵のコメントと共に紹介する。 この「O稿」を読むと、その完成度の高さに驚くはずだ。ほぼすべてのキャラクターが登場し、ほぼすべてのエピソードが記されている。「O稿」と『決定稿」では、全体の分量が調整されているほかは、ほとんど目立った変更点が見当たらないだろう。 すべては最初の筆に込められているーー。鹿目まどかのひたむきさ、暁美ほむらの覚悟と意地、美樹さやかの優しさ、佐倉杏子の強さ、巴マミのナイーブさ。魔法少女たちのはかなさとせつなさが、理詰めで論理的に緻密に描かれていく。虚淵玄の生々しい筆致とト書きに込められたイメージの奔流を『O稿」から感じとっていただきたい。 『それを憶えてる。決して忘れたりしない。だから私はーー戦い続ける』

Episode 3: I'm Not Afraid of Anything Anymore

Compare with Final Draft

Toggle original text: In exchange for fulfilling their wish, magical girls fight a constant battle against the Witches that curse the world. After learning these truths from Mami, Madoka and Sayaka find their resolve to be magical girls shaken. What do they wish for? What shall they do after becoming magical girls? These thoughts brews on her mind as Sayaka visit her childhood friend Kyousuke at the hospital, who remains bedridden from his injury. Amidst their worries, Madoka and Sayaka stumble upon a hatching Grief Seed outside of the hospital. Along with Mami, transformed, they dive into the Barrier to subdue the Witch within. While in the Barrier, Madoka confesses her thoughts to Mami. Madoka's wish is to be a magical girl to fight alongside Mami. Therefore, she doesn't have something to wish for. Having battled in solitude for so long, Mami breaks down in tears and agrees to form the Magical Girl Combo. Mami and the Witch begin battle at the depth of the barrier. No longer alone, Mami battles with a certain glee. Yet, only cruel fate awaits her...

願いをひとつ叶えることと引き換えに、少女は魔法少女になる。そして魔法少交は、世界を呪う魔女たちと命懸けで戦うーー。マミから魔法少女の正体を聞いた、まどかとさやかは心揺れる。どんな願いを叶えるのか、魔法少女になったらどうするのか。さやかは重病で入院している幼なじみの恭介を看病しながら、奇跡を夢想していた。 迷っているまどかとさやかは、偶然病院で孵化寸前のグリーフシードを発見してしまう。2人は魔法少女に変身したマミとともに結界の中へ向かい、魔女弘を仕留めようとする。 結界の中でまどかはマミに自分の心のうちを明かす。まどかの願いは魔法少女になり、マミとともに戦うこと。だから、具体的な願いが見つからないのだと。孤独の中で戦い続けてきた、マミはそのまどかのことばに涙する。そして「魔法少女コンビ」の結成を約束するのだった。 結界の最深部にたどりついた、マミは魔女と戦う。もうひとりじゃない。喜びの中で戦うマミ。だが、そのマミに無情な運命が待ち構えていた...。

Part A

Kyousuke Hospital Room

Kyousuke Hospital Room		恭介の病室
Kyousuke sits on a raised bed. Sayaka sits besides him on the visitor's chair.		ベッドをリクライニングさせて座っている恭介と、介添用の椅子に腰掛けているさやか。
Sayaka:	For you.	さやか「はい、これ」
The visiting Sayaka hands a violin CD to Kyousuke. Kyousuke's eyes widen by the surprise.		見舞いに来たさやかから、ヴァイオリンのCDを手渡される恭介。驚きに目を見開く。
Kyousuke:	Wow, amazing... This one is out-of-print! You can't even find this on the internet anymore!	恭介「うわ、凄い...これネットでも手に入らない廃盤だよ!」
Sayaka::	R-Really...? I saw it at a shop on the way home, so I bought it.	さやか「そ、そうなんだ...たまたま寄ったお店で見かけたんで、買ってみたんだけど」
CDs pile on his bedside desk. Sayaka has brought them all.		ベッドサイドのテーブルには、他にもCDのケースが積み上げられている。すべてさやかが買ってきたものである。
Kyousuke:	Thanks for all you've done. You're a genius when it comes to finding rare CDs.	恭介「いつも、本当にありがとう。さやかはレアなCDを見つける天才だね」
Sayaka:	Haha, not really... I'm probably just lucky is all.	さやか「はは、そんな...う、運がいいだけだよ。きっと」
Sayaka stammers in embarrassment.		照れてはにかむさやか。
Right away, Kyousuke opens the case and inserts the CD into his CD player.		恭介はさっそくケースを開けて、CDをポータブルプレーヤーにセットする。
Kyousuke:	This artist's performances really are incredible. Do you want to listen too, Sayaka?	恭介「この人の演奏は、本当に凄いんだ。さやかも聴いてみる?」
Kyousuke puts in an earbud and hands the other to Sayaka.		ヘッドホンの片方だけを嵌めて、もう一方をさやかに差し出す恭介。
Sayaka:	A-Are you sure...?	さやか「ぃ、いいのかな...」
Kyousuke:	I'd really like to have you hear it from the speakers, but we're in a hospital, so...	恭介「本当はスピーカーで聴かせたいんだけど、病院だしね」
Sayaka leans forward to reach the short headset. Now closer to Kyousuke, her embarrassment is now overwhelming.		コードの長さの都合で、やや身を寄せ合う姿勢になるこ人。内心で照れまくるさやか。
The music starts. Its gentle melody helps to calm her racing heart.		だが曲が始まると、優しい旋律に心が和まされる。
Sayaka indulges in the gentle melody.		優しい旋律に浸るさやか。
x x x		× × ×
Memory from Sayaka's childhood.		さやか幼少期の記憶。
Kyousuke looking dashing at his violin recital. Sayaka watching him, mesmerized.		ヴァイオリンの発表会で颯爽と演奏をしている恭介と、その姿に目を奪われているさやか。
x x x		× × ×
Sayaka opens her eyes. She notices Kyousuke quietly weeping besides her.		ふと目を開けるるさやか。隣で恭介が静かに泣いているのに気付く。
Kyousuke's left arm stretch lifelessly on the bed. The surgery scars look appalling.		ベッドの上でカなく投げ出された恭介の左腕。無惨な手術跡。
Unable to play again, his fingers trembles from memory of performance.		もう二度と演奏のできなくなった指が、演奏の記憶を迪って震えている。
These dreadful thoughts make Sayaka's chest hurt.		やるせない想いに、胸が痛くなるきゃか。

Park - Night (Barrier)

Park - Night (Barrier)		夜の公園(異界化中)
Mami's finishing move explodes.		炸裂するマミの必殺技。
The Witch disappears in a scream of pain.		悲鳴を上げて消滅していく魔女。
Madoka and Sayaka watch on from the sideline with bated breath.		それを固唾を呑んで見守るまどかとさやか。
The Barrier dissolves. The surrounding returns back to the original park. Mami untransform. Both bystanders breath in relief.		結界は解かれ、周囲はもとの公園の景色に一一反る。マミも変身を解除。ほっと安堵するギャラリー二人。
Sayaka:	No matter how many times I've seen you in battle, it just look so cool, Mami-san!	さやか「やっぱマミさんの魔女退治は何度見てもカツコいいね~」
Mami:	This isn't a magic show, you know. Don't forget that what we're doing is dangerous.	マミ「もう。見せ物じゃないのよ。危ないことしてる、って意誠は忘れないでおいてほしいわ」
Sayaka:	Yes~!	さやか「いえーす」
Sayaka raises the bat she brought for self-defense.		手にした護身用パットを掲げ上げるさやか。
Kyubey returns from searching around.		そこへ、周囲を探していたキユゥベえが戻ってくる。
Kyubey:	I don't sense any Grief Seeds.	キユウべえ「グリーフシードは持つてなかったみたいだ。空振りだね」
Madoka:	Eh, again?	まどか「ぇ、また?」
Sayaka:	We've been fighting nothing but duds lately.	さやか「なんかここんとこハズレばっかりじゃない?」
Mami:	We can't ignore the familiars, though. Anyway, let's go.	マミ「そういうものよ。だからって魔女を放っておくわけにもいかないし。ーーさ、行きましょ」
x x x		× × ×
Mami, Sayaka, Madoka walk alongside Kyubey in the silence of the night. The park has returned to normal.		静寂を取り戻した夜の公園を、並んで歩くマミ、さやか、まどかとキユゥベえ。
Mami:	So have you figured out what you want to wish for?	マミ「二人とも、何か願い事は見つかった?」
Sayaka:	What about you, Madoka?	さやか「う~ん、まどかは?」
Madoka:	No...	まどか「う~ん...」
Mami smiles wryly at her lost pupils.		困り果てる二人に、苦笑するマミ。
Mami:	Well, I guess it's hard to think of something when you're on the spot.	マミ「まあ、そういうものよね。いざ考えろって言われたら」
Madoka:	Mami-san, what did you wish for?	まどか「マミさんは、どんな願い事をしたんですか?」
As soon as Madoka asked, Mami turns gloomy. Madoka panicks a little.		まどかが訊いた途端、マミの表情が陰る。やや慌てるまどか。
Madoka:	Oh, uh... You don't really have to tell me!	まどか「いや、あの、どうしても聞きたいってわけじゃなくて、ちょっと気になった、っていうか、その...」
Mami:	No, it's fine. I don't need to hide it from you.	マミ「ううん、いいの。別に隠すほどのことでもないし」
Mami looks to a distance as she remembers.		遠い眼差しで追憶するマミ。
x x x		× × ×
Mami:	In my case...	マミ「私の場合はーー」
Mami's memory. A major accident on a freeway.		マミの回想。高速道路での大規模な事故。
Dying, Mami is trapped beneath a crashed car. Kyubey appears in front of Mami's extended hand.		潰れた車に閉じ込められて瀕死のマミが、手を差し伸べたその先に、キュウベえの姿がある。
Mami:	(Off Screen) -- I didn't have time to think about it.	マミoff「ーー考えている余裕さえ、なかったってだけ」
x x x		× × ×
Back to present. The park at night. Her two followers are slightly shocked by Mami's past.		再び現代。夜の公園。マミが語った過去に、ややショックを受けている二人。
Mami:	-- I don't really regret it. I think my current way of life is much better than having died back there.	マミ「ーー後悔してるわけじゃないのよ。今の生き方も、あそこで死んじゃうよりは余程良かったと思ってる」
Mami:	But you know, if you have the choice you should think it through. I want you to have the opportunity I didn't get.	マミ「でもね、ちゃんと選択の余地がある子には、きちんと考えた上で決めてほしいの。私にできなかったことだからこそ、ね」
Sayaka has made up her mind. She asks.		意を決して、質問をぶつける気になるきゃか。
Sayaka:	Hey, Mami-san... does your wish have to be for yourself?	さやか「ねえ、マミさん...願い事って、自分のための事柄でなきゃ駄目なのかな?」
Mami:	Huh?	マミ「え?」
Sayaka:	Like hypothetically... Hypothetically, all right? Say there was someone who was worse off than me. Could I use my wish for them...?	さやか「たとえばーーたとえばの話なんだけどさ。あたしなんかより、よほど困ってる人がいて、その人のために願い事をするのはーー」
Madoka:	You mean... Kamijou-kun?	まどか「それって...上条くんのこと?」
Sayaka:	D-Didn't I say hypothetically?! Gosh!	さやか「た、例え話だって言ってるじゃんか!」
Kyubey nods calmly despite Sayaka's panic.		慌てるさやかを余所に、冷静に頷くキユウベえ。
Kyubey:	Whoever makes the contract doesn't necessarily need to be the target for the wish. It's not like it hasn't happened before, either.	キュゥベえ「べつに契約者自身が願い事の対象になる必然性はないんだけどね。前例もないわけじゃないし」
Mami:	I can't say I like the idea, though.	マミ「...でも、あまり感心できた話じゃないわ」
Mami raises her voice in objection.		やや険しい声で異論を挿むマミ。
Mami:	If you're going to grant a wish for someone else, then it's vital that you know what it is you're wishing for. --Miki-san, do you want his wish to come true, or do you want to be the person who made his wish come true?	マミ「他の人の願いを叶えるのなら、なおのこと自分の望みをはっきりさせておかないと。ーー美樹さん、あなたは彼に夢を叶えてほしいの? それとも彼の夢を叶えた恩人になりたいの?」
Sayaka:	....	さやか「...」
With Mami's stern words and Sayaka's silent disappointment, Madoka panics.		マミの言い様に、さすがに憮然と押し黙るさやか。狼狽えるまどか。
Madoka:	Mami-san...	まどか「マミさんーー」
Mami:	They might sound the same, but they're completely different.	マミ「同じようでも全然違うことよ。これ」
Sayaka:	...That's a harsh way of putting it.	さやか「...その言い方は、ちょっと酷いと思う」
Mami:	I'm sorry, but it has to be said now. If you went ahead without realizing that, I'm sure you'd regret it later.	マミ「ごめんね。でも今のうちに言っておかないと。そこを履き違えたまま先に進んだら、あなた、きっと後悔するから」
Sayaka:	...	さやか「...」
Sayaka ponders in silence for a moment. She takes a deep breath and nods.		さやか、しばし押し黙って考え込んでから、深呼吸し、頷く。
Sayaka:	You're right. I was being a little too naïve. Sorry about that.	さやか「...そうだね。あたしの考えがけかった。ごめん」
Madoka is relieved by Sayaka's straightforward apology. A smile returns to Mami.		さっぱりと謝罪するさやかに、安堵するまどか。マミも笑顔を返す。
Mami:	This is pretty difficult to deal with, isn't it? You shouldn't rush your decision.	マミ「やっぱり、難しい事柄よね。焦って決めるべきじゃないわ」
Kyubey:	The sooner the better for me, though.	キユゥベえ「僕としては、早ければ早いほどいいんだけど」
Mami knocks Kyubey lightly the head in complaint.		ぼやくキユウベえの頭を小突くマミ。
Mami:	That won't do. Girls hate guys who pressure them.	マミ「駄目ょ。女の子を急かす男は嫌われるぞ」
Mami and Sayaka share a laugh. Madoka joins in, but her heart is full of complicated feelings.		笑うマミとさやか。まどかも釣られて笑、つものの、その胸の内はやや複雑。

Madoka Room

Madoka Room		まどかの部屋
Bedtime in her pajamas, Madoka lies on her bed, wide awake. Kyubey rests beside her.		就寝間際、パジャマに着替えてベッドの上でごろごろしているまどか。傍らににはキュゥベえ。
Madoka recalls the conversation with Sayaka and Mami in the park. She sighs.		公園でのさやかとマミの問答を思い出し、溜息をつくまどか。
Madoka:	...It really isn't that simple, is it...?	まどか「...やっぱり、簡単なことじゃないんだよね...」
Kyubey:	I'm not in a position to pressure you into it. Suggestions are against the rules too.	キユウベえ「僕の立場で急かすわけにはいかないしね。助言するのもルール違反だし」
Madoka:	I guess just wishing to become a magical girl wouldn't work, huh...?	まどか「ただ、なりたいってだけじゃ、駄目なのかな...」
Madoka stares at the costumes designs on her notebook. She recalls the beauty of Mami in battle, trying to imagine herself alongside Mami.		ノートの落書きの変身プランを眺めるまどか。華麗に戦うマミを思い出し、その姿に自分を重ねて妄想する。
Kyubey:	Madoka, do you just thirst for power?	キユウベえ「まどかは力そのものに憧れているのかい?」
Madoka:	No, that's not what I mean... Or maybe I do... I mean, I'm slow, and I'm not good at anything. So if I could be someone cool and wonderful like Mami-san, then that in itself would be enough to make me happy...	まどか「ゃ、そんなんじゃなくて...う~ん、そうなのかな? 私ってどんくさいし、何の取り柄もないし、だからマミさんみたいに絡好良くて素敵な人になれたら、それだけでもう充分に幸せなんだけど...」
Kyubey:	You could become a much more powerful magical girl than Mami.	キユウベえ「まどかが魔法少女になれば、マミよりずっと強くなれるよ」
Madoka:	Huh?	まどか「へ?」
Madoka is baffled by those unexpected words.		思わぬ言葉に、狐につままれたかのようなまどか。
Kyubey:	The sort of wish you make factors into it as well, but even I can't even imagine how large a Soul Gem you might produce. I've never met a girl with such potential before.	キユウベえ「もちろん、どんな願い事で契約をするかにもよるけれど...まどかが生み出すかもしれないソウルジエムの大きさは、僕にも測定しきれない。これだけの素質を持つ子と出会ったのは初めてだ」
Madoka:	Haha... What are you saying? Come on. You're joking, right?	まどか「はは...何言ってるのよ、もう。嘘でしょ」
Kyubey:	No—	キユウベえ「いやーー」
Door knock.		そこに扉をノックする音。
Tomohisa:	Madoka, are you awake?	知久「まどか、起きてるか?」
Madoka:	Yeah, what's wrong?	まどか「うん?どしたの?」
Tomohisa:	Mama is home... can you help me a bit?	知久「ママが帰ってきたんだが...ちょっと手伝ってくれないかな」

Kaname Home Entrance

Kaname Home Entrance		鹿自家玄関
Junko lies wasted at the doorstep.		上がり框で、泥酔した詢子が潰れている。
Madoka:	Again? ...Jeez.	まどか「あー、またか...まったくもう」
Madoka shrugs in disbelief.		やや呆れ気味に苦笑いするまどか。
Junko:	W-Water...	詢子「み、水...」
Already prepared, Tomohisa hands a cup of water to Junko.		既に用意してあったコップの水を詢子に飲ませる知久。
Tomohisa:	We need to get her to bed and changed. Hey, you hold that side.	知久「ともかくベッドまで運んで、着替えさせないと。ほら、そっち持ってくれ」
Madoka and Tomohisa carry Junko between them to her bedroom.		まどかと知久、二人がかりで詢子を肩に担いで、寝室まで引っ張っていく。
Junko:	Eh...Damn you, baldy!....If you want to drink, drink by your damn self...! Don't make me pull that toupee off!	詢子「ぐえええ...このスダレハゲ...呑みたきや手酌でやってろつつうの...」
Junko rambles drunkenly.		譫言のように愚痴を漏らす詢子。

Parent Bedroom

Parent Bedroom		ダイニングキッチン
Junko sleeps peacefully under cover.		布団にくるまり、安らかな寝息を立てている詢子。
Task complete, Madoka and Tomohisa share a sigh of relief.		一仕事終えた知久とまどか、ほっと一息。
Tomohisa:	Thank you. Should I make some hot cocoa?	知久「ココアでも入れようか?」
Madoka:	Yeah, sure.	まどか「うん、お願い」

Dining Kitchen

Dining Kitchen		ダイニングキッチン
In pajamas and gowns, Madoka and Tomohisa sit face to face, sipping hot cocoa.		寝間着姿にガウンを羽織り、テーブルで差し向かいに座ってホットココアを啜る二人。
Madoka:	She doesn't drink that much at home... Why does she always get so drunk outside? Thank god, she made it back safely.	まどか「うちで飲むときはちゃんと加減するのに...なんで外だとあんなに酔っぱらっちゃうかなあ。平気なうちに帰ってくればいいのに」
Tomohisa:	Drinking is part of the job too. Like overtime, you can't just push it off.	知久「会社勤めだと、飲むのも仕事のうちうて場合があるからね。残業だと思えば抜け出せないさ」
Madoka:	Doesn't she get tired of these things...	まどか「嫌にならないのかな、そういうの...」
Tomohisa:	Sometimes, but sometimes work can be great too.	知久「嫌になることもあるだろうね。でもそれよりもっと頻繁に、働いてて良かったと思うことの方が多いのさ」
Unconvinced, Madoka props her chin on her hands.		いまいち納得できず、頬杖をつくまどか。
Madoka:	I wonder why Mom loves her job so much. Working at that company wasn't really her dream, was it?	まどか「なんでママは、あんなに仕事が好きなのかな。昔からこの仕事に就くのが夢だったーーなんて、ないよね?」
Tomohisa:	Hm... it's not that she loves her job as much as she loves a challenge.	知久「ママは仕事が好きなんじゃなくて、頑張るのが好きなのさ」
Madoka:	...?	まどか「...?」
Tomohisa:	I'm sure there are tough and painful times for her, but the subsequent feeling of accomplishment is her greatest joy. Because of this, even the difficult work now can become worthwhile.	知久「嫌なことも辛いこともいっぱいあるだろうけど、それを乗リ越えたときの満足感が、ママにとっては最高の宝物なのさ。 そういう意味で、今の難しくて大変な仕事は、とてもやり甲斐があるんだろうね」
Madoka:	I wonder if she's happy...?	まどか「ママは...満足なのかな、それで」
Tomohisa:	She might not have wished to work where she does now, but she's still living her ideal way of life. Some dreams can come true like that.	知久「そりゃ、会社勤めが夢だったわけじゃないだろうけどさ。それでもママは、理想と思っていた生き方を通してる。そんな風にして叶える夢もあるんだよ」
Madoka:	So someone's dream can be their way of life?	まどか「...生き方そのものを、夢にするの?」
Tomohisa:	I'm sure opinions differ, but I really like that about your mom. I can respect that and I take pride in it. Don't you think she's amazing too?	知久「どう思うかは人それぞれだろうけどーー僕はね、ママのそういうところが大好きだ。尊敬できるし、自慢できる。素晴らしい人だってね」
Madoka::	Yeah.	まどか「...うん」
Madoka's expression softens from her father's soothing smile.		父の笑顔に、表情を和ませるまどか。

School - Night

School - Night		夜の学校
Mami stands casually in the school grounds.		校庭の真ん中に漫然と作んでいるマミ。
In front of her, Homura emerges from the darkness. The two stand off at a distance.		その前に、闇の奥からほむらが現れる。間合いを挿んで対峙するこ人。
Mami:	What do you want at this hour?	マミ「わざわざこんな時間に呼び出して、何の用?」
Homura:	Kaname Madoka and Miki Sayaka... How long do you plan to drag them along for?	ほむら「鹿目まどかと美樹さやか...あの二人をいつまで連れ回す気?」
Homura speaks belligerently, her face expressionless.		はなから冷ややかな面持ちで喧嘩腰のほむら。
Homura:	You know you're putting innocent civilians in danger, don't you?	ほむら「分かっているの?あなたは無関係な一般人を危険に巻き込んでいる」
Mami:	They've been chosen by Kyubey. They're no longer innocent civilians.	マミ「彼女たちはキユゥベえに選ばれたのよ。もう無関係じゃないわ」
Homura:	Chosen but not yet contracted, you should not be interfering with their decision. You're leading them toward becoming magical girls.	ほむら「選ばれただけで契約は済ませていない。その先の選択に、あなたが干渉するべきじゃない。ーーなのに、あなたは二人を魔法少女に誘導している」
Mami:	And I take it you don't like that.	マミ「それが面白くないわけ?」
Homura:	That's right. It's a nuisance... Especially in the case of Kaname Madoka.	ほむら「ええ。迷惑よ。...特に鹿目まどか」
Realizing Homura's motive (a misunderstanding), Mami narrows her eyes.		マミ、ほむらの真意を見透かした(と勘違いして)日を細める。
Mami:	I see... So you've noticed her potential as well.	マミ「ふうん...そう、あなたも気付いてたのね、あの子の素質に」
Homura's gaze sharpens.		ほむらの眼差しがさらに険しくなる。
Homura:	I cannot, under any circumstances, allow her to make a contract.	ほむら「彼女だけは、契約させるわけにはいかない」
Mami:	Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know.	マミ「自分より強い相手は邪魔者ってわけ?いじめられつ子の発想ね」
Enraged, Homura closes her eyes briefly to calm herself down.		内心でかっとなるほむらだが、一旦目を閉じて気持ちを静める。
Homura:	... One magic girl was enough for this city. Two are too many already.	ほむら「...ひとつの街に、魔法少女は一人で充分よ。今ここに二人いるだけでも多すぎる」
Mami:	I disagree with your wording, but that makes a lot of sense.	マミ「同意しかねる言葉だけれど、あなたの前だと頷きたくなるわ」
Homura:	You are not ready for battle. You should back off.	ほむら「あなたは戦いに向いてない。身を退くべきよ」
Mami:	Speak for yourself. I have been protecting this city, and I'll protect this city!	マミ「勝手なこと言わないで。今日までこの街を守ってきたのは私ょ。そして、これからも」
The tension between them can break into violence at any moment.		両者の間に緊張が走る。一触即発の危機。
Mami:	...I see that we'll not be getting along.	マミ「...はっきりしたみたいね。お互い、どうあっても相容れそうにない」
Homura:	I have no reason to fight you, but...	ほむら「あなたとは戦いたくないのだけれど」
Mami:	In that case, make sure we never meet again.	マミ「なら二度と会うことがないよう努力して」
Determined that Homura has no intentions for a fight, Mami turns around.		ほむらの側にこの場で仕掛けてくる意図がないと判断したマミは、踵を返す。
Mami:	I'm sure tonight's the last time we'll resolve this peacefully.	マミ「話し合いだけで事が済むのは、きっと今夜で最後だろうから」
Mami leaves with her line. Homura stands motionless. Homura grinds her teeth in frustration.		捨て台詞を残して去っていくマミ。ほむらは事態が思うように進まないことに苛立ち、歯噛みする。
Homura:	...	ほむら「...」

Episode 3 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: After reading the full script, you can tell composition of this part changed a lot. Gen Episode 3 was tightly packed, so the Kyousuke Hospital Room sequence was moved to Episode 4. [Familiar]] fights were not initially part of Draft 0. Was this setting added later on. Gen That's correct. Having a Grief Seed drop for every fight is bad for story development. Also, if all Witches come from magical girls, the numbers don't add up. As a result, I add natural growth by replication for the Witches into the setting. By that time, Witch designs had been finalized. "Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know." In this famous scene, Mami-san unintentionally touched upon a soft spot in Homura's past. This sequence also seen some adjustments, and the location changed from the school to a road by the park. Gen Mami may had did it unintentionally, but to Homura it was very malicious (laughs). Then, a problem with the scene where Mami was eaten by the Witch. The rumor within the fanbase was "This was Gen's writing! He made it this gruesome!" Gen I have heard of such rumors, but they're patently untrue! I wrote with every intent for avoiding excessive cruelty, because I don't want to see Aoki sensei's characters suffer either. I simply wished to avoid any ambiguity, to invoke "such a pity this character has died and would not come back" type of message. For example, if she was stabbed through the chest instead, maybe she may still live and can be revived later on. I wanted to avoid leaving such possibility. I also want people to understand that Mami did not lose due to her skill, but simply have faced her counter. "Mami crumples into a heap, like a puppet without strings. (Actually, her head is gone, but it's not shown due to the camera angle)... Free again, the Witch's enormous body smothers her corpse, hiding it from view. Bone-crushing sound coming from that direction." Gen What I mean is, even though I wrote it, I didn't want to see it either.

Episode 6: This Just Isn't Right

Conflict between magical girls has begun. A bitter battle for ideology and territory... Kyouko and Sayaka lock in brutal struggle. Yet with Homura's interference, the battle temporarily abates. Both combatants swallow their anger and retreat.

Homura wants to stop the battle-worn Sayaka from continual action as a magical girl, but Sayaka refuses to listen, even to Madoka.

Homura reveals to Kyouko the Walpurgisnacht's arrival in two-weeks time. They agree to seek battle with the strongest Witch together. Afterwards, Madoka discusses Sayaka's circumstance with her mom. Junko gently supports Madoka.

That night, Sayaka watches the cured Kyousuke with a renewal sense of happiness. Kyouko reappears to provoke Sayaka in her happy moment. Another stand off. Madoka hurries to Sayaka's side, and suddenly snatches Sayaka's Soul Gem. This is when... Madoka learns the truth about magical girls.

Part B

School Rooftop

School Rooftop
Lunch break, next day. Sayaka and Homura faces each other, alone.
Sayaka:	So what do you want?
Homura:	You to avoid action in these two weeks.
Sayaka:	Why?
Homura:	I don't want any confrontation between you and Kyouko.
Sayaka snorts in disgust.
Sayaka:	Heh, so you teamed up with that. Just as expected...
Homura remains poker-faced.
Homura:	Her strength is necessary to confront a coming crisis. Until then, I'll like you to allow me the initiative in witch hunts.
Sayaka:	So you can harvest Grief Seeds without interference?
Sayaka answers coldly. She is visibly angry.
Sayaka:	If I am an eyesore, just come at me, both at once. I won't try to run or escape. I'll face you head on.
Homura:	Miki Sayaka. Confronting you will only hurt Madoka.
Sayaka:	Ah, that's right... You don't want any more rivals.
Homura realizes Sayaka will not budge. A tinge of sadness in her voice.
Homura:	...Please, think rationally. If you persist, the one that's hurt the most will be Kaname-san.
Sayaka:	This has nothing to do with Madoka!
This only makes Sayaka more aggravated.
Sayaka:	I am just a idiot, constantly fooled by sly-tongued people like you... But even I can tell from your actions, that you think of nobody but yourself. Everyone around you are merely tools in your eyes, isn't it?
Homura:	...This is for your own good.
Sayaka:	You always have this attitude, like everyone are beneath you.
Sayaka refuses to see the point. She sneers at Homura with hostility.
Sayaka:	Even if I don't have a chance, I won't let you get away with this... I'll protect this city.
With her back towards Homura, Sayaka leaves the rooftop.
Left behind, Homura stares afar, troubled.

Madoka Room

Madoka Room
Light's on. Madoka lies on her bed, staring at her ceiling, unable to sleep.
Sound of the gate opening from below. Working overtime on the weekend again, Junko finally returns after leaving in the morning. Sound of the shower. After some hesitation, Madoka leaves her bed.

Kaname Kitchen

Kaname Kitchen
A note left on the kitchen table -- "Must be tired. There's potato salad in the fridge."
Junko wears a bathrobe, holding the potato salad, eating the meal alone. Madoka walks over, in her pajamas and holding a nightgown.
Junko:	Can't sleep?
Maodka:	No... Can we talk?
Junko nods. Madoka grabs her cup and some juice from the kitchen. She pours herself a cup of juice. Junko takes some ice cubes from the freezer. The two raise a toast, as they always have.
Madoka takes a sip of her cup and start speaking.
Madoka:	A friend of mine is in a tough situation... What she's doing and saying probably isn't wrong... But the more she tries to do what's right, the worse it gets...
Junko:	That happens a lot.
Junko responds without hesitation.
Junko:	It sucks, but you can't expect a happy ending just by doing what's right all the time. Actually, the more people get stubborn and insist that they're in the right, the farther away happiness gets...
Madoka:	It's not fair if you can't be happy even though you're not doing the wrong things.
Junko:	Yeah.
Madoka:	What do you think I should do?
Junko stares at her glass for a moment.
Junko:	...That's not a problem that can be solved by someone not involved.
Madoka:	....
Madoka looks at Junko, waiting for her to continue. Junko knows that her girl doesn't understand. She sighs and continue.
Junko:	Do you want to solve this, even if it's not the nicest way to do it?
Madoka:	Yeah.
Junko:	All you have to do is make a mistake for her.
Junko stirs her glass. The ice and alcohol melt together.
Junko:	Somebody has to be in the wrong to balance out her need to be in the right.
Madoka:	Do something wrong?
Junko:	Tell a white lie, or run away from something scary. Sometimes you realize that was actually the best choice in the end. Sometimes when you hit a dead end with no real alternatives, making a big mistake is an option.
Madoka:	But do you think she'll understand that I'm doing it for her own good?
Junko:	She may or may not. Especially at first. I told you it might not be the nicest way to do it. But would you rather give up on her, or give her the wrong idea about you?
Madoka:	...
Madoka becomes distressed. Junko takes another sip, smiling gently.
Junko:	Madoka, you grew up to be a good girl. You don't lie, and you don't do anything bad. You're always trying hard to do what is right. You're already a wonderful child. That's why you should start learning how to make mistakes before you grow up.
Madoka:	Learning how to make mistakes?
Junko:	You recover from injury faster when you're young. If you learn how to fall down now, it'll be easier for you later on... When you get older, making mistakes gets harder. The more things you're responsible for, the less mistakes you can make.
Madoka:	I see...
Madoka drinks her juice, as she digests Junko's words.
Madoka:	Isn't that hard?
Junko:	Being an adult is hard for everybody. That's why they let you drink.
Junko laughs at her joke. Madoka joins in too.
Madoka:	I want to grow up and drink with you.
Junko:	Hurry up and get older. As difficult as it is, it's fun being an adult.

Kyousuke Hospital Room

Kyousuke Hospital Room
Evening. Sayaka visits, bringing a present with her as usual.
But Kyousuke's bed is empty. Everything has been cleared out.
Sayaka:	...Eh?
Sayaka feels lost. Nurse A sees her from behind.
Nurse A:
Sayaka:	Yes, that's right.
Nurse A:	His rehabilitation was going well, so his schedule was moved up.
Sayaka:	I-I see.
Sayaka smiles cordially to avoid the awkwardness.

Kamijou Home - Front

Kamijou Home - Front
Night. Sayaka has walked here from the hospital. She stands in front of the doorway.
Sayaka hesitate over the doorbell. Lingering, a faint sound of violin melody can be heard.
Kyousuke focusing in practice.
Sayaka:	...
The melody reaches Sayaka's ears. Just by listening, she can sense Kyousuke's focus.
Sayaka doesn't wish to disturb him. A lonely smile. She lowers the hand from the doorbell.
Sayaka is about to leave, but stop suddenly with a tense expression.
In front of Sayaka, Kyouko walks under a street light's from the darkness. Chewing on a churro in her hand.
Kyouko:	--Going home without even seeing him? You've been chasing him around all day.
Sayaka:	You...
Kyouko:	I know all about it. The little rich boy who lives here, right? The one you made a contract with Kyubey for. Christ. You wasted your only chance for a miracle on something that stupid?
Sayaka:	What would you know?!
Kyouko:	A hell of a lot more than you, dummy. Magic is only supposed to be used to grant wishes for yourself. No good comes out of using it for someone else. --Didn't Tomoe Mami even teach you that much?
Sayaka:	....Ha.
Sayaka recalls Mami with the same advice. She bites her tongue.
Kyouko:	There are better ways of making a guy you love fall for you. After all, you've got all that magic now.
Sayaka:	Wh-What?
Kyouko:	Just go in there and break his hands and legs so bad, he'll never be able to use them again. Make him so helpless that he won't be able to do anything without you. Do that, and he'll be yours and yours alone. Both his body and his heart.
Sayaka:	...Ha.
Kyouko:	If you don't have the guts, then I could do it for you. Just think of it as a favor to my fellow magical girl. It's no sweat.
Sayaka:	...I will...never forgive you...I'll take you down this time...
Sayaka rages with a murderous intent. Kyouko smiles with contempt.
Kyouko:	Let's take this some place else, then. We wouldn't want to attract a crowd.

Kaname Home - Madoka Room

Kaname Home - Madoka Room
Madoka doing homework at her desk.
But She can't focus at all. Her thoughts is elsewhere. In her mind replays the conversation with Junko from last night.
Junko:	(Voice Over) Somebody has to be in the wrong to balance out her need to be in the right.
Madoka:	But how could I...
Kyubey:	Madoka...Madoka!
Madoka turns around and immediately sees Kyubey by the window.
Kyubey:	Hurry! Sayaka's in trouble! Follow me!

Overpass Above a Freeway

Overpass Above a Freeway
A overpass across a 4-lane freeway. Underneath the bridge are crowded freeway traffic, but above is a complete blind-spot. No one can will notice from below.
Sayaka and Kyouko stand-off not far from each other. Kyouko is still eating her churro.
Kyouko:	We won't have to hold back here. It's party time.
Kyouko transforms as a magical girl. Sayaka places her Soul Gem on her palm.
Sayaka and Kyubey races to the location.
Madoka:	Wait! Sayaka-chan!
Sayaka:	M-Madoka...
Sayaka is perplex for a moment, but immediately collects her fighting spirit.
Sayaka:	Don't get in the way. This isn't even any of your business.
Madoka:	No, this is definitely wrong!
Watching Madoka desperately tries to stop Sayaka, Kyouko glares coldly.
Kyouko:	Hmph. Annoying jerks sure attract annoying friends.
Homura:	I wonder what sort of friends you have, then.
Homura's habit of suddenly appearing behind her makes Kyouko uncomfortable.
Kyouko:	Damn.
Homura:	This isn't what we agreed on. I thought I told you to keep your hands off of Miki Sayaka.
Kyouko:	Your method wouldn't get the message across! She's not backing down either way.
Homura:	Then...
Homura transforms.
Homura:	I'll take her on. Stay out of it.
Kyouko:	Pssh.
Kyouko raises the very last bit of her churro.
Kyouko:	You've got until I finish eating this.
Homura:	That's plenty of time.
Sayaka hears the conversation between Kyouko and Homura, which pisses her off even more.
Sayaka:	Don't underestimate me!
Sayaka lifts her Soul Gem to transform.
Can no longer stand by and do nothing, Madoka suddenly has an idea.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan, I'm sorry!
Madoka suddenly snatches Sayaka's Soul Gem from her hand.
Sayaka:	Wha...!?
Kyouko and Homura are just as stunned as Sayaka.
Madoka immediately throws the Soul Gem into the traffic below.
It falls on top of a truck passing by, instantly taken away.
Homura:	--Shit!
Homura turns pale. Suddenly (actually time control, but appears to) teleports, she chases behind the truck.
Sayaka:	Madoka, what the hell?!
Madoka:	But if I hadn't...
Sayaka steps toward Madoka, but suddenly lost her strength and collapse into Madoka's arms.
Madoka:	...Sayaka-chan?
Madoka is dumbstruck by what happened.
Sayaka lays motionless, her eyes empty of life.
Kyubey:	That was bad, Madoka.
Seemingly surprised, Kyubey shakes its head.
Kyubey:	How could you just throw\N away your friend like that? Are you crazy?
Madoka:	What... What are you saying?
Kyouko walks solemnly forward. With a sudden lunge, she lifts Sayaka up by her neck roughly.
Madoka hastily attempts to stop her.
Madoka:	S-Stop it!
Kyouko:	What the hell is this...?
Kyouko faces Kyubey instead of Madoka, ask with outrage.
Kyouko:	She's dead!
Madoka is so startled by Kyouko's words that she can't react.

Freeway

Freeway
Homura struggles to catch up to the vehicle carrying the Soul Gem. She teleports, one after another (actually several time stops. She has been running nonstop).

Overpass

Overpass
Sayaka's body remains motionless, neither breathing or heartbeats.
Madoka cannot comprehend the situation.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan? Hey, Sayaka-chan? Wake up! Say something!
Madoka shakes Sayaka's shoulders repeatly, but Sayaka simply sway back and forth like a puppet.
Madoka:	What's wrong? I don't want this to happen! Sayaka-chan!
As Madoka falls into hysteria, Kyouko also becomes irritated by the situation.
Kyouko:	What the hell is going on? Hey...!
Kyubey:	You magical girls can only control your bodies from 100 meters away, at most.
Only Kyubey remains calm in such a situation.
Kyouko:	100 meters?! What the hell does that mean?
Kyubey:	You normally carry them with you, so accidents like this are rare.
Madoka:	What are you saying, Kyubey? Save her! Don't let Sayaka-chan die!
Kyubey:	Madoka, that isn't Sayaka. It's just an empty shell.
Madoka:	Eeh...?
Madoka is at a loss.
Kyubey:	You just threw Sayaka away.
Kyouko:	Wh-what...?
A sudden realization comes to her, Kyouko stares at her Soul Gem in shock.
Kyouko:	What...did you say

Freeway

Freeway
Homura is still chasing the truck.
She finally grabs onto to the truck bed.
Kyubey:	(Off Screen) I couldn't just ask you to fight witches with a fragile human body.
Homura lunges at Sayaka's Soul Gem that rests besides a pallet. She breaths a sigh of relief.
Kyubey:	(Off Screen) A magical girl's old body is nothing more than a piece of external hardware. Your actual soul is given a much safer, compact form that is capable of controlling magic much more efficiently.

Overpass

Overpass
Kyubey continue to explain in a neutral fashion, in front of Madoka's and Kyouko's faces of horror.
Kyubey:	It's part of my job, when I complete a magical girl's contract. I extract your souls and turn them into Soul Gems.
Kyouko:	What the hell did you do to us?
In anger, Kyouko seizes at Kyubey by its ears.
Kyouko:	You bastard! You basically turned us into zombies!
Kyubey:	Isn't it more convenient? Even if your heart is torn to shreds, or you lose every drop of blood, your body can be fixed in no time with magical healing. You're basically invincible, provided that your Soul Gem is intact. Isn't that far more advantageous than fighting with a human body full of vital organs?
Madoka:	That's terrible... That's too awful.
No a hint of apology from Kyubey, only confusion.
Kyubey:	You're all the same. You always react like this when you're told what's really going on. I don't get it at all. Why are humans so touchy about the placement of their souls?
Kyouko:	...Ugh.
Kyouko trembles in anger. Madoka bust into tears, holding Sayaka's body tightly.
Homura returns. She returns Sayaka's Soul Gem to Sayaka's hand.
In a moment, Sayaka jolts suddenly and opens her eyes.
Sayaka:	..Ah...
Sayaka, dazed and confused, looks around.
Sayaka:	...What? What's wrong?

Episode 6 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: Can Kyubey detect it when Homura use magic? Gen I rewrote this entire section in Draft 0. The sequence where, "Homura request Sayaka to avoid conflict with Kyouko, and Sayaka relies this city is mine" was cut. I also adjusted the last words simply, so the whole truth regarding Soul Gems was revealed in this episode.

Episode 7: Can You Face Your True Feelings?

Part A

Previously,

Previously,
Madoka tosses Sayaka's Soul Gem. It tumbles in the air.
Kyubey:	(Off Screen) A magical girl's old body is nothing more than a piece of external hardware. Your actual soul is given a much safer, compact form that is capable of controlling magic much more efficiently. Sayaka's body limps lifelessly in Madoka's arms.
Kyubey:	It's part of my job, when I complete a magical girl's contract. I extract your souls and turn them into Soul Gems.

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
Sayaka returns.
Sayaka and Kyubey are alone in the room. Sayaka tosses her Soul Gem on her desk. Her expression turns as she asks Kyubey.
Sayaka:	What's going on? You said my body is but an empty husk...
Kyubey:	I simply give your soul physical form, so your spirit can be converted into energy--
Sayaka:	I never heard of this!
Sayaka erupts in anger.
Sayaka:	You tricked us, didn't you?
Kyubey acts confused.
Kyubey:	I distinctly remember asking you to become a magical girl. I just didn't explain precisely\N what would be involved.
Sayaka:	Why didn't you tell us?!
Kyubey:	You never asked. It wouldn't have bothered you one bit if you'd never found out. Mami, for example, never did.
Kyubey remains nonchalant in front of a fuming Sayaka.
Kyubey:	Besides, you humans don't even realize you have souls in the first place.
Kyubey points at Sayaka's head.
Kyubey:	Your body's nothing more than a collection of neurons--
Then points towards her heart.
Kyubey:	...and a centralized cardiovascular system. In addition, when the human body ceases to function, the soul is lost. I gave your soul a physical form to prevent that from happening— a form you can pick up and protect with your own hands. That way, you can battle withes with greater safety.
Sayaka:	Nobody asked you to do that!
Kyubey:	You still don't understand what it's like to fight, do you?
Kyubey sighs in disappointment.
Kyubey:	For example, take the pain you would experience upon being impaled by a spear.
Sayaka:	Ah--!!
An excruciating pain suddenly returns to Sayaka's abdomen. She falls to her knees in pain.
Kyubey:	This is how it would actually feel. A single strike would be enough to incapacitate you.
Sayaka:	Ah...Oww...
Struggling from the pain, Sayaka remembers her battle with Kyouko in Episode 5.
She shivers from the many killing blows she received.
Kyubey stares attentively at Sayaka. He continues to explain in his neutral fashion.
Kyubey:	Pain inhibition was the only reason you remained standing to the end against Kyouko. It was only possible because your consciousness isn't directly linked with your body. That's how you were able to survive that battle.
Kyubey lets go of the Soul Gem.
The pain immediately disappears. Sayaka's breath heavily, her body in a heap.
Kyubey:	In time, you can even learn to completely cut off pain. But I won't recommend that, since it tends to slow you down.
Sayaka:	Why... Why did you do this to us?
Sayaka asks in tears. Kyubey smirks.
Kyubey:	You had a wish important enough to commit yourself to a life of battle, did you not? And your wish came true, didn't it?

School - Classroom

School - Classroom
Morning. Before Class. A bunch of rowdy classmates.
Kazuko Saotome comes in. The class rep calls for attention.
Saotome:	Stand. Bow~
Madoka glance warily at Sayaka's empty seat. She's not coming today?

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
Curtains closed, the room is dark.
Sayaka buries herself in blankets.
Cupping her Soul Gem tightly in her hand, she stares at its faint glow.

School - Rooftop

School - Rooftop
Break time. Madoka and Homura faces each other.
Madoka:	Homura-chan, did you know about that?
Homura nods in silence.
Madoka:	Why didn't you tell us?
Homura:	Nobody I've warned has ever believed me before.
Madoka:	...
Madoka wants to ask Homura - why does she always look like she has given up on everyone - but the words won't come out. |
Madoka decides to switch topic.
Madoka:	Why would Kyubey do something so cruel?
Homura:	He doesn't think it's cruel. He's a creature that doesn't understand human values. He'd just say it was an appropriate payment for bringing about a miracle.
Madoka:	That's not fair at all!
Madoka can't help but shout.
Madoka:	How could he do that to her? All Sayaka-chan wanted was to heal the person she loved...!
Homura:	It was still a miracle. He made the impossible possible.
Homura answers calmly.
Homura:	Even if Miki Sayaka dedicated her entire life to caring for him, he would never have recovered enough to play the violin again. Normally, a miracle costs far more than a human life, but that's the price for which Kyubey sells them.
Madoka does not agree, but can't find a rebuttal. After a moment, she asks another question.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan won't be able to go back to her normal life?
Homura:	...
Homura seems lost for words.
Madoka:	If she stop using magic, she doesn't need to find more Grief Seeds; then she doesn't have to keep fighting Witches, right?
Homura:	Simply maintaining the body consumes a minimum amount of magic. So Grief Seeds are still a necessity. She would still need to hunt Witches.
Madoka:	....
Madoka falls silent, but she doesn't want to give up on Sayaka yet. Her mind races desperately for another way out.
Seeing Madoka struggling, Homura finally forces herself to speak coldly.
Homura:	...I've said this before, have I not? Give up on Miki Sayaka.
Madoka:	...Sayaka-chan saved me!
Madoka recalls when she was attacked by a Witch in Episode 4.
Madoka:	If she hadn't been a magical girl at the time, Hitomi-chan and I would have died...!
Homura:	Don't confuse gratitude with responsibility.
Homura speaks plainly, without any emotion.
Homura:	There is no way for you to save her. If you're thinking of returning the favor to alleviate your own sense of guilt, I suggest you reconsider.
Madoka can no longer stand Homura's indifference towards Sayaka. Madoka's body shakes involuntarily.
Madoka:	...Homura-chan, why are you always so cold?
Homura:	I suppose...
Homura looks down on the Soul Gem in her hand, her usual self-deprecating smile.
Homura:	...it's because I'm no longer human as well.
Madoka:	...
She has given up on herself as well. Madoka's heart sinks from the realization.

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
It's afternoon, yet Sayaka still hasn't leave her bed.
Depressed, her mind wanders to Kyousuke.
Sayaka:	How can I visit Kyousuke after being turned into this thing...?
At this moment, Kyouko suddenly calls for Sayaka telepathically.
Kyouko:	How long are you gonna lie there feeling sorry for yourself, dummy?
Sayaka:	...!?
Surprised, Sayaka jump out from under cover.
She looks out of her window to the street below.
Kyouko stands by Sayaka's doorstep, eating an apple. Kyouko holds a grocery bag full of apple in her other hand.
Kyouko:	Come out for a bit. We need to talk.

Dusk - Outside of the City

Dusk - Outside of the City
On a hill, they follow on a small path covered in weed. Kyouko walks out front, holding an apple.
Sayaka follows, staring at Kyouko's defenseless behind.
Sayaka is tense. Looking down on her again? Is this a trap?
Kyouko:	You regret what was done to your body, don't you?
Sayaka:	...
Kyouko ignores the non-response and continues.
Kyouko:	I'm starting to think it doesn't really matter. I mean, I'm able to do what I want because I acquired these powers. It's not really something I regret.
Sayaka:	You... just got what you deserved.
Kyouko:	Yeah! You can just think of it that way.
A nonchalant reply.
Kyouko:	If you live only for yourself, everything you do is your fault. You have no reason to resent others, and you'll never have any regrets.
Sayaka:	...
Sayaka fails to read the meaning between Kyouko's words.
The two arrives on the top of the hill. Here rests what remained of an abandoned church.

Abandoned Church

Abandoned Church
Kyouko kicks open the entrance and enters. Sayaka follows behind.
Sayaka:	...Why did you bring me the way out here?
Kyouko toys with the apple in her hand, as if gestating for words. She walks, step by step, towards the altar.
Kyouko:	It's kind of a long story.
Kyouko takes out an apple from her bag and toss it to Sayaka.
Kyouko:	Want one?
Sayaka:	....
Sayaka clenches her teeth in anger and tosses the apple aside.
Suddenly, Kyouko lunges at Sayaka, grabbing her by the throat. Displaying an anger like never before.
Kyouko:	Don't ever waste food... I'll kill you if you do.
Sayaka:	...
Kyouko turned hostile so quickly, that Sayaka is frozen by the surprise.
Kyouko releases Sayaka. She picks up the apple that Sayaka tossed away, cleans it carefully, and places it back into the bag.
Ignoring Sayaka's shock, Kyouko paces the church as she recall her past.
Kyouko:	...This place was my father's church.

Kyouko's Recollection

Kyouko's Recollection
A spotless church in the past, Kyouko's father replaces an old candle and lights the new one.
A younger Kyouko, and her younger sister, cleaning in their aprons.
Father gazes at his daughters and smiles.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) He was an extremely honest and kind person. The type of person who'd cry just from reading the morning paper, and put serious thought into how to make the world a better place.
Father preaches to the congregation sitting in the pews.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) My dad always said that a new religion was needed to save a new era. That's why he started preaching things that weren't part of the scripture.
An empty church.
Kyouko and her father at a loss.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) As you expected, people stopped coming to his sermons. Then she got excommunicated by the Church. The church slowly becomes desolate, falls into ruins.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) No one would listen to what he had to say. It shouldn't have been a surprise. From the outside, it would've looked like some sketchy cult. No matter how right he was. No matter how logical the things he said were, he was just an outcast in the eyes of society.
Kyouko and father, their cloth worn, visit a congregation's home. But they're turned away at the door.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) Our whole family was left with nothing, not even food.
Sakura family dining table. A pitiful dinner consists of watery soup.
Kyouko:	I couldn't accept it. My dad wasn't saying anything wrong. It was just different from what people were used to hearing.
The frustrated father and child walk in a bustling night market.
Not a single person looks at the pair.
Kyouko:
But in the end, no one listened to him.
Kyouko's father slumps in a pew, alone.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) Father sits alone in the empty church, waiting for people to return, like a clown... I couldn't stand it. It was unforgivable.
A frail Kyouko walks on the street. Her gaze focus on an apple on a fruit stand. She can't help from wanting to stealing it.
She is caught and beaten.

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Kyouko stares at the apple in her hand.
Kyouko:	That's why my wish was that everyone would listen to my dad's words.
Sayaka:	...
Sayaka can't hide her shock from the revelation.

Kyouko's Recollection

Kyouko's Recollection
Suddenly, a huge congregation fills the church.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) The next morning, his church was filled with people. The number of believers multiplied at a frightening rate each day...
City night time. Magical Girl Kyouko valiantly fights witches.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) and I became yet another magical girl.
Father preaches to the full congregation with renewed vigor.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) No matter how good his sermons were, they wouldn't get rid of the witches. I thought that was where I came in, so I got all hyped up about it like an idiot, thinking we'd save the world together - from the light and from the shadows.

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Kyouko bite her apple hard, grins warily.
Kyouko:	But one day my dad found out what was going on.
Sayaka:	...
Kyouko:	He completely lost it when he realized all his folowers were only there because of magic. He called me, his own daughter, a witch who sways the hearts of others. Oh, the irony. I mean, I was the one who'd been fighting the real witches every night.

Kyouko's Recollection

Kyouko's Recollection
Sakura Kitchen. Blood everywhere.
Father hanging from the ceiling; his feet dangles in the air.
Kyouko watches the scene in shock at the entrance.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) That ruined my father. he met a pitiful end. He started binge drinking, lost his grip on reality, and wound up killing his family, then himself.

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Finished, Kyouko tosses the empty core on the floor.
Kyouko:	My wish destroyed my entire family.
Sayaka:	...
The truth leaves Sayaka lost for words.
Kyouko:	Because I made a wish for someone else without knowing what he really wants, I ruined many lives. That's when I swore to myself that I'd never use magic for others again. I'd use my powers only for myself.

Part B

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Sayaka turns to face Sayaka, speaking to her solemnly.
Kyouko:	Miracles aren't free. If you wish for hope, an equal amount of despair is scattered across the world. It all cancels out to zero. That's how the balance of the world is maintained.
Sayaka:	...Why are you telling me this?
Sayaka asks, keeping her gaze on the floor.
Kyouko:	...
Kyouko doesn't want Sayaka to see her embarrassment, falls silent.
Kyouko takes another apple out of the bag.
Kyouko:	You shouldn't start doing more things you'll regret. You've already paid too high a price for what you got. So now, you should start thinking about how to get your money's worth.
Sayaka:	...Like you, huh?
Kyouko:	That's right.
Kyouko's gaze shifts from the uneaten apple to Sayaka, motions her to take it.
Kyouko:	You just need to stop worrying and do whatever you want. Live only for yourself.
Realizing Kyouko isn't a bad person, Sayaka smiles. She replies with a slight sarcasm.
Sayaka:	...That doesn't add up. If you're only living for yourself, then why worry about me?
Kyouko:	...
Slightly disappointed, Kyouko does not reply. Instead she continues to speak frankly.
Kyouko:	We both started off with the same mistake...I've come to realize my mistake, but you're still making yours. I couldn't watch you go on like that.
Sayaka finally raises her head to stare right at Kyouko.
Sayaka:	I had the wrong idea about you. I'm sorry for that. I really am.
Kyouko:	....
Kyouko feels a small happiness. It makes her want to smile, but Sayaka continues to speak frankly.
Sayaka:	But I don't regret having used my wish for someone else. I've decided never to regret my actions, so as not to cheapen the feelings I cherish. Never again.
Kyouko:	Why are you...
...not getting it? Sayaka interrupts Kyouko before she finishs her sentence.
Sayaka:	I don't believe I paid too high a price. I can do wonderful things with this power, if I use it right.
Kyouko:	...
Sayaka:	And what about you?
Sayaka turns her gaze from Kyouko, her voice stiffens.
Sayaka:	How did you get those apples. Where did you get the money to pay for them?
Kyouko:	...
Of course not legally, but Kyouko can't say those words.
Sayaka:	... You can't tell me, can you? In that case, I can't eat them. I wouldn't even want one.
Sayaka turns from Kyouko and prepares to leave the church ruin.
No longer holding back, Kyouko yells towards Sayaka's silhouette.
Kyouko:	You dumbass! We're magical girls! There's no one else like us!
Sayaka stops her step. Her head lowers slightly, as if with slight regret.
Sayaka:	I will continue fight in my own way. If that interferes with your life, you're welcome to try and kill me again. I no longer bear you any ill will, but nor will I lose.
Kyouko clenches her teeth in disgust. Disappointed, she takes another bite at the apple.

Morning - The Way to School

Morning - The Way to School
Sayaka walks slowly toward school.
Madoka and Hitomi catch up from behind.
Madoka:	Good morning, Sayaka-chan!
Hitomi:	Good morning, Sayaka-san.
Sayaka:	Good morning.
Sayaka replies, back to her usual self.
Madoka sees through Sayaka's act and feels a slight worry.
Hitomi:	What happened yesterday?
Sayaka:	I was feeling a little unwell.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan...
Are you alright? Before Madoka got the words out, Sayaka preempts her.
Sayaka:	It's okay. I'm fine now. Don't worry about me.
Madoka:	....
Sayaka:	Anyways, let's get--
Half went through her sentence, Sayaka sees Kyousuke walking towards school in clutches. She freezes.
Hitomi:	My, has Kamijou-kun been released from the hospital?
Hitomi is surprised.
Kyousuke walks in crutches with some difficulty, but cheerfully greets his classmates.
Sayaka:	...
Rather than happiness, Sayaka's emotions become even more complicated. Madoka becomes depressed from seeing this.

School - Classroom

School - Classroom
Classmates rowdy before class.
After a long absence, Kyousuke's classmates surround his desk.
Nakazawa:	Kamijou, are you okay to come to school?
Kyousuke:	Yeah. It wouldn't be rehab if I was cooped up in my home all day. My goal is to walk without crutches by next week.
Everyone are taking their turn to talk to Kyousuke. Sayaka tries to ignore the commotion by looking elsewhere. Madoka and Hitomi sit beside her.
Madoka:	I'm glad Kamijou-kun's doing well.
Sayaka:	Yeah...
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan, go say hi. You haven't said anything to her yet, right?
Sayaka:	I'm... okay for now.
Hitomi:	....
Sayaka is not her usual self. Madoka gets worried.
Hitomi stares at Sayaka, considering something.

Fast Food Restaurant

Fast Food Restaurant
The place on the road after school. Sayaka and Hitomi sits across from each other. The atmosphere is tense.
Sayaka:	So, what did you want to talk about?
Hitomi:	I need some relationship advice.
Hitomi speaks with some hesitation. It makes Sayaka tense as well.
Hitomi:	I've been keeping something from you and Madoka-san for a while now.
Sayaka:	Huh? O-Okay...
Hitomi:	I've... been attracted to Kamijou Kyousuke for some time now.
Stunned, Sayaka's eyes widens.
Sayaka:	I-I see.
Sayaka attempts to calm her shaking heart, but she's failing.
Sayaka:	I never would've expected that from you, Hitomi. Kyousuke sure is a lucky guy-
Hitomi reads Sayaka like paper, but remains earnest.
Hitomi:	You've known him for a long time, haven't you?
Sayka:	Yeah, but we're just old acquaintances, I guess.
Hitomi:	Is that really all?
Sayaka:	...
No point in hiding anymore. Sayaka swallows.
Hitomi:	I've decided that I won't lie to myself anymore. What about you? Sayaka-san, can you accept your true feelings?
Sayaka:	Wh-what are you talking about?
Hitomi:	You're a precious friend to me. So I don't want to steal him from you or try to court him behind your back. The straightforward declaration leaves Sayaka speechless.
Hitomi:	You've spent far more time with him than I have. That's why you should have the right to go after him first.
Sayaka:	Hitomi...
Hitomi:	I will confess my love to Kamijou-kun after school tomorrow. You have one whole day. Please decide on a course of action that you won't regret. Decide whether or not you'll tell him how you feel.
Sayaka:	I-I...
Hitomi stands up, bows, and leaves.

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
Night time. The room lights are off. Only a desk lamp remains on. Sayaka lies on her desk.
Her Soul Gem sits on the table. It shines as if it's beckoning.
Kyubey sits in a corner in the darkness behind Sayaka. It speaks.
Kyubey:	What about tonight?
Sayaka:	... I get it. I'm going now.
Sayaka picks up her Soul Gem and stands up.

Miki Family Apartment Exit

Miki Family Apartment Exit
Sayaka quietly sneaks out for another witch hunt. Kyubey follows behind.
Madoka waits for her under the streetlight, just like in Episode 5.
Sayaka is shocked to find her there.
Sayaka:	Madoka...
Madoka:	Can I come with you?
Sayaka:	...
Sayaka has given up on everything, even her self-worth. Madoka's kindness just adds to her concerns.
Madoka:	I don't want you to be all on your own....
Madoka finds it difficult to express herself. Sayaka's eyes moist.
Sayaka:	Why are you... Why are you so kind to me? I don't deserve it...
Madoka:	That's not true.
Sayaka:	Today, I almost regretted what I'd done.
Madoka:	...
Sayaka:	For just a moment, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't saved Hitomi.... Some hero I turned out to be, Mami-san would be ashamed to have known me...
Madoka can't stand it anymore. She hugs Sayaka tightly.
Sayaka:	I'm going to lose Kyousuke to Hitomi...! And there's nothing I can do about it...!
Sayaka cries in Madoka's arms.
Sayaka:	I'm already dead! I am a zombie...! How can I ask him to hold this dead body...? How can I ask him to kiss my cold lips...?
Madoka:	...
Madoka start crying too, unable to say a word of reassurance.
Both in tears, they remain in embrace for some time.
After a while, Sayaka finally stops weeping. She pulls herself from Madoka.
Sayaka:	Thank you... I'm sorry.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan...
Sayaka:	I'm fine now. I feel better.
Sayaka:	Anyways, let's go. Those witches aren't gonna slay themselves.
Madoka:	... Right.

Warehouse District

Warehouse District
Between stacks of deserted containers, a dim light hints of a Witch's Barrier.
As if implying an intense battle, faint bolts of light leaks out with regularity.
Kyouko sits on a crane observing the situation. Expressionless, she munches a ice pop.
Homura suddenly appears, standing behind Kyouko.
Homura:	I'm surprised you're just sitting here watching.
Kyouko:	...She's fighting a witch today, not a familiar. It'll drop a Grief Seed. It's not a pointless hunt.
Homura:	And you'd let her take your prey for that, huh?
Kyouko:	...
Kyouko is about to rebuttal, but the Barrier twists. Its pulsation suddenly intensifies. Kyouko smacks her lips.
Kyouko:	Damn, that idiot. She's having trouble.

Inside the Barrier

Inside the Barrier
Sayaka and the Witch lock in heavy combat. Madoka and Kyubey watch from behind.
Far stronger than a mere Familiar, Sayaka has engaged this Witch for a long time in a bitter struggle. Madoka watches on the side with unease.
Sayaka:	Damn...
Sayaka finally succumbs to the constant barrage. She kneels. Unguarded, the Witch delivers a killing blow.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan! Watch out...!
Kyouko suddenly strikes at this time. The Witch lets go and leaps away.
Kyouko:	Goddamnit. I couldn't just sit there any longer.
Kyouko grunts while an ice pop dangles from her mouth.
Kyouko:	Just stay back for now. I'll show you how it's done.
With Sayaka safe behind her, Kyouko raises her spear in battle stance.
Sayaka stands up and walk in front of Kyouko instead.
Kyouko:	Hey--!
Sayaka:	Don't get in my way. I can do it myself.
The Witch strikes once more. Sayaka simply ignores the attack and charges directly at it.
The two sides meet. Sayaka's sword pierce the Witch, but she also receives a heavy blow.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan!
Madoka weeps.
Yet, only the Witch curls in pain. With complete disregard to her injuries, Sayaka begins laughing.
Sayaka:	Haha... Ahaha.
Kyouko:	Don't tell me you...
Kyouko is lost for words.
The Witch retaliates in pain. Still refusing to parry, Sayaka lunges forward, sword-first.
Her body covered in blood, yet Sayaka laughs maniacally.
Sayaka:	Ahaha, it's true...! If I just detach myself... it doesn't hurt at all!
Sayaka continues to hack away at the Witch as she laughs. With wanton disregard to the counterattacks, Sayaka focus only on striking her opponent. The appalling scene leaves Kyouko speechless. Madoka cannot force herself to watch any longer, turns her gaze away.
Madoka:	Stop... Please stop...
But Madoka's words can no longer reach Sayaka. Her sword swings as she continue to grin.
Her frenzy sounds like a strange wail.

Episode 7 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: The opening sequence where Kyubey explained, "I simply give your soul physical form;" the conversation between a shakened Madoka and cold Homura, "If she stop using magic, she doesn't need to find more Grief Seeds; she doesn't have to keep fighting Witches, right?... Just maintaining the body consumes a minimum amount of magic. So Grief Seeds are still a necessity." These lines regarding the Grief Seed were cut. Gen That's right. During revision, I wanted to avoid cutting Kyouko's lines, so I end up cutting expositions like these instead. In terms of audience interest, I think this area end up lacking. Once I grasp the priorities for dialogue, I won't worry about lines to delete anymore. As result of this trade-off, Kyouko end up becoming this arc's MC? Gen Yes. Mami was before Episode 3; Sayaka until Episode 6; Kyouko up to Episode 9; and the final arc for Homura. This was the original structure. On the other hand, if we consider Kyouko as Sayaka's reflection, then even without dialogue Sayaka would be fine. Still, I was surprised by Kyouko's enormous popularity with the fans. This must be the result of Ai Nonaka's (Kyouko's VA) hard work. She managed to convey a "she's really a good girl" image, working diligently to create the emotions of a false villian. Originally, I figured a stereotypical bad girl voice would be sufficient, so Director Shinbo's choice of Miss Ai was a surprise to me. But it end up as a perfect fit.

Episode 10: I won't Depend on Anyone Anymore

Story returns to the past. Recently transferred, Homura becomes acquainted with her new classmate, Madoka. Madoka rescues Homura from a Witch attack and reveals to her the world of magical girls.

Some time later, the Walpurgisnacht arrives at the city. As a magical girl, Madoka faces Walpurgisnacht alone. She is defeated and dies in front of Homura. In her desperation, Homura contracts with Kyubey to return to the past. She teams up with Madoka to fight the Walpurgisnacht once more.

Homura matures as a magical girl, but is unable to save Madoka from the Walpurgisnacht. To save Madoka, Homura returns back in time over and over again. Suffering through endless failures and despairs, but Homura refuses to give up.

"I'll relive the same time over and over, searching for a way out. I'll find the one path that will save you from your fate of boundless despair... If it's for you, I don't mind being trapped in this endless maze for all of eternity!"

Homura becomes a time traveler.

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)
Morning class of Homura's first day in her new school. Homura stands before the blackboard, with the whole class's attention on her. She wears a pair of glasses and twin braids. A nervous, fidgeting, and frail girl.
Saotome:	Why don't you tell the class your name?
Homura:	Umm... I-I'm A-Akemi Homura... I, uh... I-It's nice to meet all of you.
Saotome writes Homura's name on the blackboard.
Saotome:	Akemi-san's been in the hospital for some time due to a heart condition. She hasn't been to school in quite a while, so I'm sure she'll run into a lot of difficulties. Make sure you all help her out, okay?
x x x
Recess. Homura's seat is surrounded by girls. They question her, full of curiosity.
Girl A:	Which school did you come from?
Girl B:	Were you in any clubs? Like sports, or art?
Girl C:	Your hair's really long. It must be tough braiding it every morning.
Homura:	I, uh...
The meak glasses-Homura turns even more timid.
During all this, Madoka interjects.
Madoka:	Akemi-san, you need to go to the nurse's office, right? Do you know where it is?
Homura:	Huh? No...
Madoka:	I'll take you there, then. I'm the health officer for this class. --Sorry, everyone, but Akemi-san has to go to the nurse's office during recess to take her medicine.
Girl A:	Oh, really? Sorry for keeping you.
Girl B:	Talk to you later, Akemi-san.
Due to Madoka's cheerful interruption, everyone leaves willingly.
Free from the attention, Homura feels more at ease.

Hallway

Hallway
Madoka leads the way. Glasses-Homura carefully follows behind.
Madoka:	Sorry about that. They don't mean any harm... They're just excited because we don't get many transfer students.
Homura:	No, it's okay... Thank you very much.
Madoka's warm smile helps Homura to calm down.
Madoka:	My name is Kaname Madoka. Call me Madoka.
Homura:	I...
Madoka:	It's fine, really. Do you mind if I call you Homura-chan?
Homura:	...
Having difficulty figuring out her distance with Madoka, glasses-Homura fidgets nervously.
Homura:	... People don't call me by my first name very often... It's a really weird name.
Madoka:	What? That's not true. It feels really exciting and cool.
Homura:	... I guess I don't live up to my own name.
Madoka:	You shouldn't say that! You already have such a wonderful name. You should be cool to match it!
Homura:	...
Madoka smiles innocently. Glasses-Homura can't help but cringe and hung her head.

Math Class

Math Class
Glasses-Homura stands in front of a problem on the blackboard. Completely confounded, in cold sweat. The Math teacher looks troubled.
Math Teacher:	Oh, you've been away from school, haven't you? Why don't you ask a friend to let you copy their notes?

PE

PE
Glasses-Homura sits at a corner of the field, her complexion pale, watching others competing in hurdle times vigorously.
The girls gossip noisily while peering over at Homura.
Girl C:	She got light-headed just from doing warm-ups? That's pretty bad.
Girl B:	She's been bedridden for half a year. It's no surprise.

After School - The Road Home

After School - The Road Home
Under the setting sun, glasses-Homura walks home alone dejected. Her mind is filled with self-loathing and feelings of worthlessness.
Madoka's words flashes in her mind.
Madoka:	(Voice Over) --You should be cool to match it!
Homura:	I can't do that. I'm not good at anything.
Glasses-Homura keeps her eyes solely on her feet, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Her mind loss in thought.
Homura:	All I ever do is make trouble for others and embarrass myself... Why? Will I always be like this... forever?
From inside her dejected mind, an evil voice whispers.
Witch:	(Voice Over) It'd be better if you just die right now, wouldn't it?
Homura:	(Voice Over) Maybe it would.
Witch:	(Voice Over) Yeah. You should just die right now.
Homura:	(Voice Over) I should just... die...
Glasses-Homura suddenly realizes her surroundings have changed completely.
She was on a sunlit road home, but now she has accidentally entered a Witch's Barrier.
Homura:	Wh-Where... am I?
A Witch's image rushes toward the frightened Homura from a distance.
Homura:	What? What is that?! NO!
Just before the Witch attack glasses-Homura, a shining beam of light interrupts her.
A magic circle centers on Homura. The Witch stops abruptly.
Mami:	--That was a close one.
Madoka:	It's okay now, Homura-chan!
Mami and Madoka stands before glasses-Homura to protect her.
Homura:	Yo-You're...
Kyubey appears by the feet of confused glasses-Homura.
Kyubey:	They're magical girls. They hunt witches.
Witch:	Ahhhhhh....
Promptly defeated, the Witch disappears.
The dazzling display mesmerizes Homura.
Madoka:	Our secret didn't last very long, huh? Don't tell anyone else in class, okay?

Mami Apartment

Mami Apartment
Mami, Madoka, and Kyubey are having a tea party to celebrate the successful witch hunt.
The rescued Homura is invited as well. Homura sits overwhelmed and timid. A slice of chiffon cake in front of her.
Homura:	Kaname-san... Do you always fight those things?
Mami:	Always...? Well, Mami-san's the veteran here. I actually just made my contract with Kyubey last week.
Mami:	But your performance today was a big improvement over before, Kaname-san.
Madoka smiles in embarrassment from Mami's compliment.
Still confounded, glasses-Homura asks Madoka again.
Homura:	...Isn't t dangerous? You're not scared?
Madoka:	Well, it certainly is dangerous, and we do get scared. But the more witches we defeat, the more people we can save. So it's worth it, right?
Homura:	....
Glasses-Homura stares Madoka with adoration.
Mami:	We need Kaname-san to become a full-fledged magical girl before the Walpurgisnacht gets here.

A City Ablaze

A City Ablaze
The City under the Walpurgisnacht's wrath. A fire rages.
Madoka kneels in front of Mami's body, who has fallen in battle. Madoka prays silently, her hands clasped in front of her. Glasses-Homura watches her in tears.
On the other side, the monstrous Walpurgisnacht continues to deliver destruction.
Madoka:	... I'll be going, then.
Homura:	But... But Tomoe-san just died...
Madoka:	That's why I have to go. I'm the only one left who can stop the Walpurgisnacht.
Homura:	But it's impossible! Nobody can fight that thing alone! You'll die too, Kaname-san!
Madoka:	I'm still a magical girl. I have to protect everyone.
Homura:	Please... let's just run away. There's nothing else we can do. No one would ever blame you...
Madoka has already made up her mind. She calmly says to Homura.
Madoka:	Homura-chan, I'm really glad we became friends. Even now, the fact that we made it in time to save you from that witch... is one of my proudest accomplishments. So I'm glad I became a magical girl. I don't regret it at all.
Homura:	...Kaname-san...
Madoka:	Goodbye, Homura-chan. Take care of yourself.
Madoka transforms. She dashes towards the Walpurgisnacht.
Homura:	No! Don't go, Kaname-san!

The City Abandoned

The City Abandoned
The city has been remade into concrete rubble by the Walpurgisnacht. Rain pours.
Madoka's bloody corpse lies between the rubble.
Glasses-Homura kneels in front of her body, wailing amidst the rain.
Homura:	Why... You knew you were going to die. I wish you could have lived... instead of saving someone like me...
Kyubey:	Do you truly mean those words, Akemi Homura?
Kyubey rests on top of a pile of rubble overlooking the crying glass-Homura.
Kyubey:	Would you be willing to trade your soul for that wish? If there's something you want badly enough to commit yourself to a life of battle, then... I can be of help to you.
Glass-Homura turns her tear-soaked eyes towards Kyubey.
Homura:	...If I make a contract with you, you can really grant any wish I want?
Homura:	I...
Homura removes her glasses and wipes her tears away. She has made up her mind. She stands with conviction.
Homura:	... I want to redo my first encounter with Kaname-san. But this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to become strong enough to protect her!
Immediately, an immense, paralyzing pain spreads throughout her body.
A Soul Gem floats out from within Homura's chest, shining brilliantly.
Kyubey:	--The contract has been made. You wish has prevailed over entropy. Now, release your new power!
Homura:	...
Homura grabs cautiously at the Soul Gem floating in front of her.
Then, time revert to the past.

Night - Hospital

Night - Hospital
Homura suddenly wakes up on a hospital bed.
Homura:	...Where am I?...
The hospital room she once called home. A marker circles her discharge date on a calendar.
A small file rests on the bedside table. On it reads "For transferring student... Misakihara Middle School."
Homura:	I'm... still in the hospital?
Homura sleepily rubs her eyes and notices the Soul Gem glowing in her hand. She stares in amazement.
Homura:	...It wasn't a dream...!?

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)
Once again, the day when Homura transfer in.
Saotome:	Why don't you tell the class your name?
Homura:	I'm Akemi Homura. Nice to meet you all!
Saotome is about to write Homura's name on the blackboard.
Saotome:	Akemi-san's been in hospital for some...
Glasses-Homura can wait no longer. She rushes to Madoka's seat. Smiling eagerly, she holds Madoka's hands in hers.
Homura:	Kaname-san! I became a magical girl too! So let's do our best together from now on!
Madoka:	Uh...
Madoka looks frantically around her in panic and confusion.
Saotome and the other students are simply stunned.

Riverside - Beneath an Overpass

Riverside - Beneath an Overpass
Madoka, Mami, and glasses-Homura gather by an otherwise empty riverside. They faces an old oil drum. Glasses-Homura holds a golf club nervously.
Homura:	Uh.. Here I go!
Glasses-Homura transforms as a magical girl. She stops time using the hourglass on her shield.
With time frozen, glasses-Homura swing her golf club at the oil drum with all her might. Her movements are clumsy, swinging empty several times, even falling once.
Time moves once more. Homura tries to catch her breath. The oil drum rolls in front of her.
Madoka:	What do you think, Mami-san?
Mami answers "Em," but in her mind is both surprise and confusion.
Mami:	Time magic, huh...? It's pretty amazing, but you're not using it right.
Homura:	O-Okay...
Mami:	First, no matter how many times you strike, it's useless if ineffective. Rather than a club, you need more powerful weapons.
Homura looks down at the now-twisted golf club, hangs her head in dejection.
Mami:	Also, even though no one else touched it, why is the drum in a different position?
Homura:	It's because... time-stop cancels for anything that I touched, so the oil drum moves whenever I hit it.
Mami:	This would give your opponent a chance to counterattack. You need an attack method that doesn't require contact with the enemy during time-stop.
Homura:	I... I understand...

Homura Room

Homura Room
A cozy bedroom for one. It isn't a complete mess yet.
Various tools lay out on the desk. Glasses-Homura stares attentively at her laptop. With complete focus, she diligently builds a pipe bomb. The website is Hara Hara Tokei.

Witch Barrier

Witch Barrier
Madoka, Mami, and glasses-Homura working together against a Witch.
First, Mami uses binding magic to constraint the Witch.
Madoka takes the opportunity to fire an arrow at the Witch.
Glasses-Homura stops time, then nervously places a bomb under the Witch's feet and runs.
A huge explosion after time resumes, the Witch disappears in a cry of pain.
Madoka:	Mami-san, now's our chance!
Mami:	Okay!... Akemi-san, your turn!
Homura:	R-Right!
Homura:	I did it...? I did it!
Madoka:	You did it!
Madoka:	That was amazing, Homura-chan!
Mami:	Well done.
The three magical girls cheer for their shared victory. An abandoned factory reappears as the Barrier dissipates. A Grief Seed rolls on the floor.

Episode 10 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: This episode was about Homura's past. To prevent Madoka's death, Homura gone through countless timelines. This episode compiled together events from quite a few of them. Making this work must been difficult? Gen In regard to script length, I was only concerned with minimizing the number of timelines required. That wasn't it. Content wise, I had a really hard time deciding what parts to cut. "Ah, I'm done!" then I would think, "Isn't this too hard to make?" Yet, somehow a script like this was actually accepted! You got to be impressed by the staff over at SHAFT. Exactly how many timelines had Homura gone through? Was this set? Gen Perhaps too many to count; perhaps not very many? However, if she gone through a few thousand times, then people would think "is she an idiot?" So around this feels about right. Portions of Mami's special training were cut from Draft 0. Gen That's right. It had been a long time since the last Mami lecture. Even though I wanted to reward everyone with this scene, this was no longer Mami's story. For a training session with a golf club, Mami's training was particularly Spartan. If Homura knew that Mami can be so scary, maybe she would had avoid Mami all-together (laughs). There have been many interesting theories about Mami, like "she wasn't really trying to lead Madoka to be a magical girl, how much did she really know" and such.

References

The Following references were used to produce this translation:

• Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Beginning Story
• 小残/Yamibo.com - 《魔法少女小圆 The Beginning Story》剧本0稿·考察
• MEGUCA Fansub - Puella Magi Madoka Magica BD
• Tri4 Fansub - Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica BD V2