The Beginning Story: Draft 0

Translator's Note: The following is a translated chapter of Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Beginning Story. It has been marked up to improve readability. Underlined text indicates the dialogue was cut or modified by the final draft; Striked text indicates the dialogue was added after Draft 0.

Revisiting Draft 0

Toggle original text: Revisiting Draft 0 "Make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!" Everything began from here. The script of Madoka Magica had undergone numerous revisions before finalizing. In this chapter, we reprint parts of Draft 0 as originally written by Gen Urobuchi to highlight what did changed. We also asked Gen for his reasons for making these changes. The state of completeness of Draft 0 was simply astonishing. Nearly every character had made their debut, and all the scenes written. From Draft 0 to Final Script, it's hard to pinpoint any significant changes beyond general editing. Everything were there from the first words - Kaname Madoka's tenacity, Akemi Homura's drive and will, Miki Sayaka's gentleness, Sakura Kyouko's toughness, and Tomoe Mami's naivety. Gen managed to craft a scenario rich in both philosophical ideals and vivid portrayal of the dreams and anguish of magical girls. Reading Draft 0 allows us to truly appreciate the genius wordsmith that is Gen Urobuchi. "I remember that. And I will never forget it. That is why... I will keep on fighting."

シナリオO稿と考察 「僕と契約して、魔法少女になってよ!」。すべてはここからはじまったーー。『魔法少女まどかカマギカ』のシナリオは完成するまでに数稿を重ねている。ここでは虚淵玄が最初に執筆した『O稿」の中でシーンが変更されているものを虚淵のコメントと共に紹介する。 この「O稿」を読むと、その完成度の高さに驚くはずだ。ほぼすべてのキャラクターが登場し、ほぼすべてのエピソードが記されている。「O稿」と『決定稿」では、全体の分量が調整されているほかは、ほとんど目立った変更点が見当たらないだろう。 すべては最初の筆に込められているーー。鹿目まどかのひたむきさ、暁美ほむらの覚悟と意地、美樹さやかの優しさ、佐倉杏子の強さ、巴マミのナイーブさ。魔法少女たちのはかなさとせつなさが、理詰めで論理的に緻密に描かれていく。虚淵玄の生々しい筆致とト書きに込められたイメージの奔流を『O稿」から感じとっていただきたい。 『それを憶えてる。決して忘れたりしない。だから私はーー戦い続ける』

Episode 3: I'm Not Afraid of Anything Anymore

Toggle original text: In exchange for fulfilling their wish, magical girls fight a constant battle against the Witches that curse the world. After learning these truths from Mami, Madoka and Sayaka find their resolve to be magical girls shaken. What do they wish for? What shall they do after becoming magical girls? These thoughts brews on her mind as Sayaka visit her childhood friend Kyousuke at the hospital, who remains bedridden from his injury. Amidst their worries, Madoka and Sayaka stumble upon a hatching Grief Seed outside of the hospital. Along with Mami, transformed, they dive into the Barrier to subdue the Witch within. While in the Barrier, Madoka confesses her thoughts to Mami. Madoka's wish is to be a magical girl to fight alongside Mami. Therefore, she doesn't have something to wish for. Having battled in solitude for so long, Mami breaks down in tears and agrees to form the Magical Girl Combo. Mami and the Witch begin battle at the depth of the barrier. No longer alone, Mami battles with a certain glee. Yet, only cruel fate awaits her...

願いをひとつ叶えることと引き換えに、少女は魔法少女になる。そして魔法少交は、世界を呪う魔女たちと命懸けで戦うーー。マミから魔法少女の正体を聞いた、まどかとさやかは心揺れる。どんな願いを叶えるのか、魔法少女になったらどうするのか。さやかは重病で入院している幼なじみの恭介を看病しながら、奇跡を夢想していた。 迷っているまどかとさやかは、偶然病院で孵化寸前のグリーフシードを発見してしまう。2人は魔法少女に変身したマミとともに結界の中へ向かい、魔女弘を仕留めようとする。 結界の中でまどかはマミに自分の心のうちを明かす。まどかの願いは魔法少女になり、マミとともに戦うこと。だから、具体的な願いが見つからないのだと。孤独の中で戦い続けてきた、マミはそのまどかのことばに涙する。そして「魔法少女コンビ」の結成を約束するのだった。 結界の最深部にたどりついた、マミは魔女と戦う。もうひとりじゃない。喜びの中で戦うマミ。だが、そのマミに無情な運命が待ち構えていた...。

Part A

Compare with Final Draft.

Kyousuke Hospital Room

Kyousuke Hospital Room		恭介の病室
Kyousuke sits on a raised bed. Sayaka sits besides him on the visitor's chair.		ベッドをリクライニングさせて座っている恭介と、介添用の椅子に腰掛けているさやか。
Sayaka:	For you.	さやか「はい、これ」
The visiting Sayaka hands a violin CD to Kyousuke. Kyousuke's eyes widen by the surprise.		見舞いに来たさやかから、ヴァイオリンのCDを手渡される恭介。驚きに目を見開く。
Kyousuke:	Wow, amazing... This one is out-of-print! You can't even find this on the internet anymore!	恭介「うわ、凄い...これネットでも手に入らない廃盤だよ!」
Sayaka::	R-Really...? I saw it at a shop on the way home, so I bought it.	さやか「そ、そうなんだ...たまたま寄ったお店で見かけたんで、買ってみたんだけど」
CDs pile on his bedside desk. Sayaka has brought them all.		ベッドサイドのテーブルには、他にもCDのケースが積み上げられている。すべてさやかが買ってきたものである。
Kyousuke:	Thanks for all you've done. You're a genius when it comes to finding rare CDs.	恭介「いつも、本当にありがとう。さやかはレアなCDを見つける天才だね」
Sayaka:	Haha, not really... I'm probably just lucky is all.	さやか「はは、そんな...う、運がいいだけだよ。きっと」
Sayaka stammers in embarrassment.		照れてはにかむさやか。
Right away, Kyousuke opens the case and inserts the CD into his CD player.		恭介はさっそくケースを開けて、CDをポータブルプレーヤーにセットする。
Kyousuke:	This artist's performances really are incredible. Do you want to listen too, Sayaka?	恭介「この人の演奏は、本当に凄いんだ。さやかも聴いてみる?」
Kyousuke puts in an earbud and hands the other to Sayaka.		ヘッドホンの片方だけを嵌めて、もう一方をさやかに差し出す恭介。
Sayaka:	A-Are you sure...?	さやか「ぃ、いいのかな...」
Kyousuke:	I'd really like to have you hear it from the speakers, but we're in a hospital, so...	恭介「本当はスピーカーで聴かせたいんだけど、病院だしね」
Sayaka leans forward to reach the short headset. Now closer to Kyousuke, her embarrassment is now overwhelming.		コードの長さの都合で、やや身を寄せ合う姿勢になるこ人。内心で照れまくるさやか。
The music starts. Its gentle melody helps to calm her racing heart.		だが曲が始まると、優しい旋律に心が和まされる。
Sayaka indulges in the gentle melody.		優しい旋律に浸るさやか。
x x x		× × ×
Memory from Sayaka's childhood.		さやか幼少期の記憶。
Kyousuke looking dashing at his violin recital. Sayaka watching him, mesmerized.		ヴァイオリンの発表会で颯爽と演奏をしている恭介と、その姿に目を奪われているさやか。
x x x		× × ×
Sayaka opens her eyes. She notices Kyousuke quietly weeping besides her.		ふと目を開けるさやか。隣で恭介が静かに泣いているのに気付く。
Kyousuke's left arm stretch lifelessly on the bed. The surgery scars look appalling.		ベッドの上でカなく投げ出された恭介の左腕。無惨な手術跡。
Unable to play again, his fingers trembles from memory of performance.		もう二度と演奏のできなくなった指が、演奏の記憶を迪って震えている。
These dreadful thoughts make Sayaka's chest hurt.		やるせない想いに、胸が痛くなるきゃか。

Park - Night (Barrier)

Park - Night (Barrier)		夜の公園(異界化中)
Mami's finishing move explodes.		炸裂するマミの必殺技。
The Witch disappears in a scream of pain.		悲鳴を上げて消滅していく魔女。
Madoka and Sayaka watch on from the sideline with bated breath.		それを固唾を呑んで見守るまどかとさやか。
The Barrier dissolves. The surrounding returns back to the original park. Mami untransform. Both bystanders breath in relief.		結界は解かれ、周囲はもとの公園の景色に戻る。マミも変身を解除。ほっと安堵するギャラリー二人。
Sayaka:	No matter how many times I've seen you fight Witches, you just look so cool, Mami-san!	さやか「やっぱマミさんの魔女退治は何度見てもカツコいいね~」
Mami:	This isn't a magic show, you know. Don't forget that what we're doing is dangerous.	マミ「もう。見せ物じゃないのよ。危ないことしてる、って意識は忘れないでおいてほしいわ」
Sayaka:	Yes~!	さやか「いえーす」
Sayaka raises the bat she brought for self-defense.		手にした護身用パットを掲げ上げるさやか。
Kyubey returns from searching around.		そこへ、周囲を探していたキユゥベえが戻ってくる。
Kyubey:	I don't sense any Grief Seeds.	キユウべえ「グリーフシードは持つてなかったみたいだ。空振りだね」
Madoka:	Eh, again?	まどか「ぇ、また?」
Sayaka:	What is wrong with this one?	さやか「なんかここんとこハズレばっかりじゃない?」
Mami:	We can't ignore these Witches, though. Anyway, let's go.	マミ「そういうものよ。だからって魔女を放っておくわけにもいかないし。ーーさ、行きましょ」
x x x		× × ×
Mami, Sayaka, Madoka walk alongside Kyubey in the silence of the night. The park has returned to normal.		静寂を取り戻した夜の公園を、並んで歩くマミ、さやか、まどかとキユゥベえ。
Mami:	So have you figured out what you want to wish for?	マミ「二人とも、何か願い事は見つかった?」
Sayaka:	What about you, Madoka?	さやか「う~ん、まどかは?」
Madoka:	No...	まどか「う~ん...」
Mami smiles wryly at her lost pupils.		困り果てる二人に、苦笑するマミ。
Mami:	Well, I guess it's hard to think of something when you're on the spot.	マミ「まあ、そういうものよね。いざ考えろって言われたら」
Madoka:	Mami-san, what did you wish for?	まどか「マミさんは、どんな願い事をしたんですか?」
As soon as Madoka asked, Mami turns gloomy. Madoka panicks a little.		まどかが訊いた途端、マミの表情が陰る。やや慌てるまどか。
Madoka:	Oh, uh... You don't really have to tell me!	まどか「いや、あの、どうしても聞きたいってわけじゃなくて、ちょっと気になった、っていうか、その...」
Mami:	No, it's fine. I don't need to hide it from you.	マミ「ううん、いいの。別に隠すほどのことでもないし」
Mami looks to a distance as she remembers.		遠い眼差しで追憶するマミ。
x x x		× × ×
Mami:	In my case...	マミ「私の場合はーー」
Mami's memory. A major accident on a freeway.		マミの回想。高速道路での大規模な事故。
Dying, Mami is trapped beneath a crashed car. Kyubey appears in front of Mami's extended hand.		潰れた車に閉じ込められて瀕死のマミが、手を差し伸べたその先に、キュウベえの姿がある。
Mami:	(Off Screen) -- I didn't have time to think about it.	マミoff「ーー考えている余裕さえ、なかったってだけ」
x x x		× × ×
Back to present. The park at night. Her two followers are slightly shocked by Mami's past.		再び現代。夜の公園。マミが語った過去に、ややショックを受けている二人。
Mami:	-- I don't really regret it. I think my current way of life is much better than having died back there.	マミ「ーー後悔してるわけじゃないのよ。今の生き方も、あそこで死んじゃうよりは余程良かったと思ってる」
Mami:	But you know, if you have the choice you should think it through. I want you to have the opportunity I didn't get.	マミ「でもね、ちゃんと選択の余地がある子には、きちんと考えた上で決めてほしいの。私にできなかったことだからこそ、ね」
Sayaka has made up her mind. She asks.		意を決して、質問をぶつける気になるきゃか。
Sayaka:	Hey, Mami-san... does your wish have to be for yourself?	さやか「ねえ、マミさん...願い事って、自分のための事柄でなきゃ駄目なのかな?」
Mami:	Huh?	マミ「え?」
Sayaka:	Like hypothetically... Hypothetically, all right? Say there was someone who was worse off than me. Could I use my wish for them...?	さやか「たとえばーーたとえばの話なんだけどさ。あたしなんかより、よほど困ってる人がいて、その人のために願い事をするのはーー」
Madoka:	You mean... Kamijou-kun?	まどか「それって...上条くんのこと?」
Sayaka:	D-Didn't I say hypothetically?! Gosh!	さやか「た、例え話だって言ってるじゃんか!」
Kyubey nods calmly despite Sayaka's panic.		慌てるさやかを余所に、冷静に頷くキユウベえ。
Kyubey:	Whoever makes the contract doesn't necessarily need to be the target for the wish. It's not like it hasn't happened before, either.	キュゥベえ「べつに契約者自身が願い事の対象になる必然性はないんだけどね。前例もないわけじゃないし」
Mami:	I can't say I like the idea, though.	マミ「...でも、あまり感心できた話じゃないわ」
Mami raises her voice in objection.		やや険しい声で異論を挿むマミ。
Mami:	If you're going to grant a wish for someone else, then it's vital that you know what it is you're wishing for. --Miki-san, do you want his wish to come true, or do you want to be the person who made his wish come true?	マミ「他の人の願いを叶えるのなら、なおのこと自分の望みをはっきりさせておかないと。ーー美樹さん、あなたは彼に夢を叶えてほしいの? それとも彼の夢を叶えた恩人になりたいの?」
Sayaka:	....	さやか「...」
With Mami's stern words and Sayaka's silent disappointment, Madoka panics.		マミの言い様に、さすがに憮然と押し黙るさやか。狼狽えるまどか。
Madoka:	Mami-san...	まどか「マミさんーー」
Mami:	They might sound the same, but they're completely different.	マミ「同じようでも全然違うことよ。これ」
Sayaka:	...That's a harsh way of putting it.	さやか「...その言い方は、ちょっと酷いと思う」
Mami:	I'm sorry, but it has to be said now. If you went ahead without realizing that, I'm sure you'd regret it later.	マミ「ごめんね。でも今のうちに言っておかないと。そこを履き違えたまま先に進んだら、あなた、きっと後悔するから」
Sayaka:	...	さやか「...」
Sayaka ponders in silence for a moment. She takes a deep breath and nods.		さやか、しばし押し黙って考え込んでから、深呼吸し、頷く。
Sayaka:	You're right. I was being a little too naïve. Sorry about that.	さやか「...そうだね。あたしの考えが甘かった。ごめん」
Madoka is relieved by Sayaka's straightforward apology. A smile returns to Mami.		さっぱりと謝罪するさやかに、安堵するまどか。マミも笑顔を返す。
Mami:	This is pretty difficult to deal with, isn't it? You shouldn't rush your decision.	マミ「やっぱり、難しい事柄よね。焦って決めるべきじゃないわ」
Kyubey:	The sooner the better for me, though.	キユゥベえ「僕としては、早ければ早いほどいいんだけど」
Mami knocks Kyubey lightly the head in complaint.		ぼやくキユウベえの頭を小突くマミ。
Mami:	That won't do. Girls hate guys who pressure them.	マミ「駄目ょ。女の子を急かす男は嫌われるぞ」
Mami and Sayaka share a laugh. Madoka joins in, but her heart is full of complicated feelings.		笑うマミとさやか。まどかも釣られて笑うものの、その胸の内はやや複雑。

Madoka Room

Madoka Room		まどかの部屋
Bedtime in her pajamas, Madoka lies on her bed, wide awake. Kyubey rests beside her.		就寝間際、パジャマに着替えてベッドの上でごろごろしているまどか。傍らにはキュゥベえ。
Madoka recalls the conversation with Sayaka and Mami in the park. She sighs.		公園でのさやかとマミの問答を思い出し、溜息をつくまどか。
Madoka:	...It really isn't that simple, is it...?	まどか「...やっぱり、簡単なことじゃないんだよね...」
Kyubey:	I'm not in a position to pressure you into it. Suggestions are against the rules too.	キユウベえ「僕の立場で急かすわけにはいかないしね。助言するのもルール違反だし」
Madoka:	I guess just wishing to become a magical girl wouldn't work, huh...?	まどか「ただ、なりたいってだけじゃ、駄目なのかな...」
Madoka stares at the costumes designs on her notebook. She recalls the beauty of Mami in battle, trying to imagine herself alongside Mami.		ノートの落書きの変身プランを眺めるまどか。華麗に戦うマミを思い出し、その姿に自分を重ねて妄想する。
Kyubey:	Madoka, do you just thirst for power?	キユウベえ「まどかは力そのものに憧れているのかい?」
Madoka:	No, that's not what I mean... Or maybe I do... I mean, I'm slow, and I'm not good at anything. So if I could be someone cool and wonderful like Mami-san, then that in itself would be enough to make me happy...	まどか「ゃ、そんなんじゃなくて...う~ん、そうなのかな? 私ってどんくさいし、何の取り柄もないし、だからマミさんみたいに絡好良くて素敵な人になれたら、それだけでもう充分に幸せなんだけど...」
Kyubey:	You could become a much more powerful magical girl than Mami.	キユウベえ「まどかが魔法少女になれば、マミよりずっと強くなれるよ」
Madoka:	Huh?	まどか「へ?」
Madoka is baffled by those unexpected words.		思わぬ言葉に、狐につままれたかのようなまどか。
Kyubey:	The sort of wish you make factors into it as well, but even I can't even imagine how large a Soul Gem you might produce. I've never met a girl with such potential before.	キユウベえ「もちろん、どんな願い事で契約をするかにもよるけれど...まどかが生み出すかもしれないソウルジエムの大きさは、僕にも測定しきれない。これだけの素質を持つ子と出会ったのは初めてだ」
Madoka:	Haha... What are you saying? Come on. You're joking, right?	まどか「はは...何言ってるのよ、もう。嘘でしょ」
Kyubey:	No—	キユウベえ「いやーー」
Door knock.		そこに扉をノックする音。
Tomohisa:	Madoka, are you awake?	知久「まどか、起きてるか?」
Madoka:	Yeah, what's wrong?	まどか「うん?どしたの?」
Tomohisa:	Mama is home... can you help me a bit?	知久「ママが帰ってきたんだが...ちょっと手伝ってくれないかな」

Kaname Home Entrance

Kaname Home Entrance		鹿自家玄関
Junko lies wasted at the doorstep.		上がり框で、泥酔した詢子が潰れている。
Madoka:	Again? ...Jeez.	まどか「あー、またか...まったくもう」
Madoka shrugs in disbelief.		やや呆れ気味に苦笑いするまどか。
Junko:	W-Water...	詢子「み、水...」
Already prepared, Tomohisa hands a cup of water to Junko.		既に用意してあったコップの水を詢子に飲ませる知久。
Tomohisa:	We need to get her to bed and changed. Hey, you hold that side.	知久「ともかくベッドまで運んで、着替えさせないと。ほら、そっち持ってくれ」
Madoka and Tomohisa carry Junko between them to her bedroom.		まどかと知久、二人がかりで詢子を肩に担いで、寝室まで引っ張っていく。
Junko:	Eh...Damn you, baldy!....If you want to drink, drink by your damn self...! Don't make me pull that toupee off!	詢子「ぐえええ...このスダレハゲ...呑みたきや手酌でやってろつつうの...」
Junko rambles drunkenly.		譫言のように愚痴を漏らす詢子。

Parent Bedroom

Parent Bedroom		ダイニングキッチン
Junko sleeps peacefully under cover.		布団にくるまり、安らかな寝息を立てている詢子。
Task complete, Madoka and Tomohisa share a sigh of relief.		一仕事終えた知久とまどか、ほっと一息。
Tomohisa:	Thank you. Should I make some hot cocoa?	知久「ココアでも入れようか?」
Madoka:	Yeah, sure.	まどか「うん、お願い」

Dining Kitchen

Dining Kitchen		ダイニングキッチン
In pajamas and gowns, Madoka and Tomohisa sit face to face, sipping hot cocoa.		寝間着姿にガウンを羽織り、テーブルで差し向かいに座ってホットココアを啜る二人。
Madoka:	She doesn't drink that much at home... Why does she always get so drunk outside? Thank god, she made it back safely.	まどか「うちで飲むときはちゃんと加減するのに...なんで外だとあんなに酔っぱらっちゃうかなあ。平気なうちに帰ってくればいいのに」
Tomohisa:	Drinking is part of the job too. Like overtime, you can't just push it off.	知久「会社勤めだと、飲むのも仕事のうちうて場合があるからね。残業だと思えば抜け出せないさ」
Madoka:	Doesn't she get tired of these things...	まどか「嫌にならないのかな、そういうの...」
Tomohisa:	Sometimes, but sometimes work can be great too.	知久「嫌になることもあるだろうね。でもそれよりもっと頻繁に、働いてて良かったと思うことの方が多いのさ」
Unconvinced, Madoka props her chin on her hands.		いまいち納得できず、頬杖をつくまどか。
Madoka:	I wonder why Mom loves her job so much. Working at that company wasn't really her dream, was it?	まどか「なんでママは、あんなに仕事が好きなのかな。昔からこの仕事に就くのが夢だったーーなんて、ないよね?」
Tomohisa:	Hm... it's not that she loves her job as much as she loves a challenge.	知久「ママは仕事が好きなんじゃなくて、頑張るのが好きなのさ」
Madoka:	...?	まどか「...?」
Tomohisa:	I'm sure there are tough and painful times for her, but the subsequent feeling of accomplishment is her greatest joy. Because of this, even the difficult work now can become worthwhile.	知久「嫌なことも辛いこともいっぱいあるだろうけど、それを乗リ越えたときの満足感が、ママにとっては最高の宝物なのさ。 そういう意味で、今の難しくて大変な仕事は、とてもやり甲斐があるんだろうね」
Madoka:	I wonder if she's happy...?	まどか「ママは...満足なのかな、それで」
Tomohisa:	She might not have wished to work where she does now, but she's still living her ideal way of life. Some dreams can come true like that.	知久「そりゃ、会社勤めが夢だったわけじゃないだろうけどさ。それでもママは、理想と思っていた生き方を通してる。そんな風にして叶える夢もあるんだよ」
Madoka:	So someone's dream can be their way of life?	まどか「...生き方そのものを、夢にするの?」
Tomohisa:	I'm sure opinions differ, but I really like that about your mom. I can respect that and I take pride in it. Don't you think she's amazing too?	知久「どう思うかは人それぞれだろうけどーー僕はね、ママのそういうところが大好きだ。尊敬できるし、自慢できる。素晴らしい人だってね」
Madoka::	Yeah.	まどか「...うん」
Madoka's expression softens from her father's soothing smile.		父の笑顔に、表情を和ませるまどか。

School - Night

School - Night		夜の学校
Mami stands casually in the school grounds.		校庭の真ん中に漫然と作んでいるマミ。
In front of her, Homura emerges from the darkness. The two stand off at a distance.		その前に、闇の奥からほむらが現れる。間合いを挿んで対峙するこ人。
Mami:	What do you want at this hour?	マミ「わざわざこんな時間に呼び出して、何の用?」
Homura:	Kaname Madoka and Miki Sayaka... How long do you plan to drag them along for?	ほむら「鹿目まどかと美樹さやか...あの二人をいつまで連れ回す気?」
Homura speaks belligerently, her face expressionless.		はなから冷ややかな面持ちで喧嘩腰のほむら。
Homura:	You know you're putting innocent civilians in danger, don't you?	ほむら「分かっているの?あなたは無関係な一般人を危険に巻き込んでいる」
Mami:	They've been chosen by Kyubey. They're no longer innocent civilians.	マミ「彼女たちはキユゥベえに選ばれたのよ。もう無関係じゃないわ」
Homura:	Chosen but not yet contracted, you should not be interfering with their decision. You're leading them toward becoming magical girls.	ほむら「選ばれただけで契約は済ませていない。その先の選択に、あなたが干渉するべきじゃない。ーーなのに、あなたは二人を魔法少女に誘導している」
Mami:	And I take it you don't like that.	マミ「それが面白くないわけ?」
Homura:	That's right. It's a nuisance... Especially in the case of Kaname Madoka.	ほむら「ええ。迷惑よ。...特に鹿目まどか」
Realizing Homura's motive (a misunderstanding), Mami narrows her eyes.		マミ、ほむらの真意を見透かした(と勘違いして)日を細める。
Mami:	I see... So you've noticed her potential as well.	マミ「ふうん...そう、あなたも気付いてたのね、あの子の素質に」
Homura's gaze sharpens.		ほむらの眼差しがさらに険しくなる。
Homura:	I cannot, under any circumstances, allow her to make a contract.	ほむら「彼女だけは、契約させるわけにはいかない」
Mami:	Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know.	マミ「自分より強い相手は邪魔者ってわけ?いじめられつ子の発想ね」
Enraged, Homura closes her eyes briefly to calm herself down.		内心でかっとなるほむらだが、一旦目を閉じて気持ちを静める。
Homura:	... One magic girl was enough for this city. Two are too many already.	ほむら「...ひとつの街に、魔法少女は一人で充分よ。今ここに二人いるだけでも多すぎる」
Mami:	I disagree with your wording, but that makes a lot of sense.	マミ「同意しかねる言葉だけれど、あなたの前だと頷きたくなるわ」
Homura:	You are not ready for battle. You should back off.	ほむら「あなたは戦いに向いてない。身を退くべきよ」
Mami:	Speak for yourself. I have been protecting this city, and I'll protect this city!	マミ「勝手なこと言わないで。今日までこの街を守ってきたのは私ょ。そして、これからも」
The tension between them can break into violence at any moment.		両者の間に緊張が走る。一触即発の危機。
Mami:	...I see that we'll not be getting along.	マミ「...はっきりしたみたいね。お互い、どうあっても相容れそうにない」
Homura:	I have no reason to fight you, but...	ほむら「あなたとは戦いたくないのだけれど」
Mami:	In that case, make sure we never meet again.	マミ「なら二度と会うことがないよう努力して」
Determined that Homura has no intentions for a fight, Mami turns around.		ほむらの側にこの場で仕掛けてくる意図がないと判断したマミは、踵を返す。
Mami:	I'm sure tonight's the last time we'll resolve this peacefully.	マミ「話し合いだけで事が済むのは、きっと今夜で最後だろうから」
Mami leaves with her line. Homura stands motionless. Homura grinds her teeth in frustration.		捨て台詞を残して去っていくマミ。ほむらは事態が思うように進まないことに苛立ち、歯噛みする。
Homura:	...	ほむら「...」

Episode 3 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: After reading the full script, you can tell composition of this part changed a lot. Gen Episode 3 was tightly packed, so the Kyousuke Hospital Room sequence was moved to Episode 4. Familiars were not part of the settai in Draft 0. Were they added later on? Gen That's right. A Grief Seed for every fight is troublesome for story development. Additionally, if all Witches come from magical girls, the numbers don't add up either. As a result, I added natural growth by replication for the Witches into the settai. By that time, Witch designs were finalized, actually. "Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know." Mami-san unintentionally touched upon a soft spot in Homura's past in this famous scene. This sequence also had some adjustments, and the location changed from the school to a road by the park too. Gen Mami may had done it unintentionally, but to Homura it was very malicious (laughs). Regarding the scene of Mami's death, the rumor within the fanbase was "This was Gen's writing! He made it this gruesome!" Gen I have heard of such rumors, but they're patently untrue! I wrote with every intent for avoiding excessive cruelty, because I didn't want to see (Ume) Aoki-san's characters suffer either. I simply wanted to avoid leaving any ambiguity, to enforce "such a pity this character has died and would not come back" type of message. Consider for example, if she was stabbed through the chest instead, maybe she may still live and can be revived later on? I wanted to avoid leaving such possibility. I also want people to understand that Mami did not lose due to her skill, but simply have faced her counter. "Mami crumples into a heap, like a puppet without strings. (Actually, her head is gone, but it's not shown due to the camera angle)... Free again, the Witch's enormous body smothers her corpse, hiding it from view. Bone-crushing sound can be heard from that direction." Gen What I mean is, even though I wrote it, I didn't want to see it either. Isn't it ironic to have the Witch that ate Mami-san to be so cute? Gen Ya. Such a cute looking thing can become so terrifying in an instant. Inu Curry's sense of irony is incredible.

ーーシナリオ全体を見ていくと、いろいろと構成が入れ替えられていることが分かりますね。 『第三話は、尺的にいっぱいいっぱいだったので、恭介の病室のシーンなど、第四話に移したものもありますね』 ーー冒頭に登場する使い魔の設定は、0稿には登場しないのですが、途中から足されたものですか? 「そうですね。毎回グリーフシlーを落とされても困りますし、すべての魔女が元・魔法少女だということにしてしまうと、数的にも辻複が合わなくなってしまうので。歴史の中でどんどん分裂して増えていったという設定にしました。実は魔女のデザインが既に上がっていたんです」 ーー「自分より強い相手は邪魔者ってわけ? いじめられつ子の発想ね」と、マミさんがほむらに向かって無意識に心底痛いところを突く名言を吐くシーンも。稿から整理されていますね。場所も学校から道、公園と変化していて。 「マミ自身には、とくに他意はないんでしょうけど、ほむらにとってはおもいっきり意地悪なセリフになっていますよね(笑)」 ーーそして、問題のマミさんが魔女に食べられてしまうシーン。一部ファンの間で「虚淵のト書きはきっとすごいことになってるはず!」と囁かれてもいますが...。 『そういうの、よく言れるんですけど、まったくそんなことないんですよね。むしろ個人的にはあまり酷いことにして欲しくないというニュアンスで書いています。すごいことになっちゃってる蒼樹(うめ)さんのキャラなんて見たくないですもん。ただ、それとは別の意味合いで『このキャラは、残念ながら健実に死んでしまいました。もう出てきませんよ』ということは、ハツキリ伝わるようにしなくては、と思いました。たとえば、胸に何かが刺さったというような描写だと、実は死んではいなくて、あとから復活するかも?と思えてしまうので、そういうのは避けたいな、と。あと、マミが浮かれて下手うって負けたというわけではない、たまたま敵との相性のせいで負けたんだっていうのが伝わるように、とも考えていました」 ーー『糸が切れた人形のように倒れ伏すマミの身体。(実は頭が無くなっているのだがアングルで誤魔化す方向で」と端的に書かれていますね。その後『その上に、自由になった魔女の巨体が覆い被さり、隠す。肉と骨を噛み砕き、呑み込む音」とありますが。 『書いてはいますが、別にそれを間かせたいって言うわ付ではなかったですね』 ーーマミさんを食べた魔女が、最初はすごくかわいい外見をしているというのも皮肉ですね。 『そうですね、あそこまでかわいらしいものに頭を齒られることになるとは思っていませんでした。イヌカレーさんの最高の皮肉だと思います」

Episode 6: This Just Isn't Right

Toggle original text: Conflict between magical girls has begun, A bitter battle of ideology and territory... Kyouko and Sayaka lock in brutal struggle. Yet with Homura's interference, the battle temporarily abates. Both combatants retreat, wallowing in their anger. Homura wants to stop the battle-worn Sayaka from continual action as a magical girl, but Sayaka refuses to listen, even to Madoka. Homura reveals to Kyouko the Walpurgisnacht's arrival in two-weeks time. They agree to fight the strongest, most terrible Witch together. Afterwards, Madoka asks her mom for advice regarding Sayaka. Junko gently supports Madoka. That night, Sayaka watches the cured Kyousuke with a renewal sense of happiness. Kyouko reappears, provoking Sayaka in her happy moment into another stand off. Madoka rushes by Sayaka's side, but suddenly snatches her Soul Gem away. This is how... Madoka learns the truth about magical girls.

魔法少女同士の戦いがはじまった。主義主張の違いとなわばり争い...。杏子とさやかは殺し合いを繰り広げる。ほむらの乱人により、戦いは終わりを告げるが、両者には遺恨が残っていた。 まどかは、傷つき疲弊しながらも魔法少女であり続けるさやかを止めようとする。しかし、さやかはそのことばに一切耳を貸そうとしなかった。 ほむらは杏子に「2週間後に『ワルプルギスの夜」が来る」と告げる。最強最悪の魔女ーー杏子はほむらと共闘することを約束する。そして、まどかはさやかのことを母に相談、まどかを優しく応援する母親の詢子。 その晩、さやかは恭介の病気の完治を見て、幸せを静かに感じていた。再びび現れた杏子はそんなさやかを挑発する。再び対峙する2人。まどかはさやかのもとへ駆け寄ると、魔法少女の魂であるソウルジエムを奪い取る。 そのとき...まどかは魔法少女の真実を知るのだった。

Part B

Compare with the Final Draft.

School Rooftop

School Rooftop		学校屋上
Lunch break, next day. Sayaka and Homura faces each other, alone.		翌日の昼休み。二人きりで対峙するさやかとほむら。
Sayaka:	So what do you want?	さやか「何だよ、話つてのは」
Homura:	Avoid unnecessary action for the next two weeks.	ほむら「2週間だけ、行動を控えて」
Sayaka:	Why?	さやか「何でだよ?」
Homura:	I don't want any confrontation between you and Kyouko.	ほむら「佐倉杏子と衝突してほしくない」
Sayaka snorts in disgust.		小馬鹿にしたように鼻を鳴らすさやか。
Sayaka:	Heh, so you teamed up with that. As expected...	さやか「ふうん、あいつと手を組んだんだ。やっぱりね...」
Homura remains poker-faced.		一方で、ほむらはあくまでポーカーフェイスを崩さない。
Homura:	Her strength is necessary to confront a coming crisis. Until then, I'll like you to allow me the initiative in witch hunts.	ほむら「近い将来、どうしても彼女の力が必要な展開になる。それまでは魔女狩リの主導権を譲ってほしいの」
Sayaka:	So you can harvest Grief Seeds without interference?	さやか「その間、あんたたちは誰にも邪魔されず、グリーンードを集め放題ってわけね」
Sayaka sneers, visibly angry.		冷笑を返してから、怒りを露わにするさやか。
Sayaka:	If I am an eyesore, just come at me, both of you at once. I won't try to run or escape. I'll face you head on.	さやか「あたしが目障りだってんなら、二人がかりでかかってくりゃいいでしょ。逃げも隠れもしないわ。受けて立つわよ」
Homura:	Miki Sayaka. Confronting you will only hurt Madoka.	ほむら「美樹さやか、あなたとの対立は、鹿目まどかを刺激してしま、ヮ」
Sayaka:	That reminds me... You don't want any more rivals.	さやか「ああそう...そういえば、ライバルは増ヤしたくないんだったつけ」
Homura realizes Sayaka will not budge. A tinge of sadness in her voice.		どう転んだところでさやかの態度は軟化しないと悟り、ほむらの口調はやや悲しげに。
Homura:	...Please, think rationally. If you persist, the one that's hurt the most will be Kaname-san.	ほむら「...もう少し冷静に考えて。あなたが意地を張れば張るほど、傷つくのは鹿目さんなのよ」
Sayaka:	This has nothing to do with Madoka!	さやか「まどかは関係ないでしょ!」
This only aggravates Sayaka further.		反而、ますます激高するさやか。
Sayaka:	I am just a idiot to be fooled for people like you... But even I can tell from your actions, that you think of nobody but yourself. Everyone around you are merely tools in your eyes, isn't it?	さやか「あたしってパカだからさ。あんたみたいに口が上手いヤツには、もう何度も騙されたことがあるの。...でもね、あんたのやり口を見てれば分かる。あんたは自分の都合だけしか考えてないヤツだ。周りの人間は全部、そのための道具としか思つてない。違う?」
Homura:	...This is for your own good.	ほむら「...何もかも、あなたのためを思って忠告してるのよ」
Sayaka:	You always have this attitude, like everyone are beneath you.	さやか「いつまでもそんな風に、他人を見下していられると思うな」
Sayaka fails to see the point. She sneers at Homura with hostility.		これ以上の問答は不要とばかり、敵意を込めてほむらを睨むさやか。
Sayaka:	Even if I don't have a chance, I won't let you get away with this... I'll protect this city.	さやか「どんなに勝ち日が薄くても、あんたたちの思い通りにだけはさせない...この街は、あたしが護るんだ」
With her back facing Homura, Sayaka leaves the rooftop.		ほむらに背を向け、屋上を去るさやか。
Left behind, Homura stares afar, troubled.		残されたほむらは、憂い顔で遠い眼差しをする。

Madoka Room

Madoka Room		まどかの寝室
Light's on. Madoka lies on her bed, staring at her ceiling, unable to sleep.		明かりを消し、ベッドに入ったまま、まんじりともせず天井を見つめているまどか。
Sound of the gate opening from below. Working overtime on the weekend again, Junko finally returns after leaving in the morning. Sound of the shower. After some hesitation, Madoka leaves her bed.		階下で、玄関のドアの開閉音。休日出勤のうえ午前様の詢子が、ようやく帰宅したらしい。続いてシャワーを使う物音。しばし悩んでから、ベッドを抜け出すまどか。

Kaname Home - Kitchen

Kaname Home - Kitchen		鹿自家ダイニングキッチン
A note left on the kitchen table -- "Must be tired. There's potato salad in the fridge."		テーブルには知久の書き置きーー『お疲れ様。冷蔵庫にポテトサラダあります』
Junko wears a bathrobe, holding the potato salad, eating the meal alone. Madoka walks over, in her pajamas and holding a nightgown.		パスロープ姿の詢子、ポテトサラダを肴に、一人で水割りで晩酌中。そこへ寝間着の上からガウンを羽織ったまどかがやって来る。
Junko:	Can't sleep?	詢子「眠れないのかい?」
Maodka:	No... Can we talk?	まどか「うん...ちょっといい?」
Junko nods. Madoka grabs her cup and some juice from the kitchen. She pours herself a cup of juice.		頷く詢子。まどかはキッチンから自分のグラスとジュースを取ってくる。
Junko takes some ice cubes from the freezer and pours a cup of juice for Madoka. The two raise a toast, as they always have.		まどかが注いだジュースに一詢子がアイスペールから氷を入れてやり、乾杯する母娘。お互いに慣れている。
Madoka takes a sip of her cup and start speaking.		一口ジュースに口をつけてから、語り出すまどか。
Madoka:	A friend of mine is in a tough situation... What she's doing and saying probably isn't wrong... But the more she tries to do what's right, the worse it gets...	まどか「友達がね...大変なの。やってることも、言ってることも、たぶん間違ってなくて...なのに、正しいことを頑張ろうとすればするほど、どんどん酷いことになってくの...」
Junko:	That happens a lot.	詢子「よくあることさ」
Says Junko without any hesitation.		さらりと応じる詢子。
Junko:	It sucks, but you can't expect a happy ending just by doing what's right all the time. Actually, the more people get stubborn and insist that they're in the right, the farther away happiness gets...	詢子「悔しいけどね、正しいことだけ積み上げていけばハツピーエンドが手に入るってわけじゃない。むしろ皆が皆、自分の正しさを信じ込んで意固地になればなるほどに、幸せって遠ざかってくもんだよ」
Madoka:	It's not fair if you can't be happy even though you're not doing the wrong things.	まどか「間違ってないのに、幸せになれないなんて...ひどいよ」
Junko:	Yeah.	詢子「うん」
Madoka:	What do you think I should do?	まどか「わたし、どうしたらいいんだろ?」
Junko stares at her glass for a moment.		しばしグラスを見つめる詢子。
Junko:	...That's not a problem that can be solved by someone not involved.	詢子「...そいつばっかりは、他人が口を突っ込んでも綺麗な解決はつかないねえ」
Madoka:	....	まどか「...」
Madoka looks at Junko, waiting for her to continue. Junko knows that her girl doesn't understand. She sighs and continue.		まどかは詢子を見つめて続きを待つ。娘が納得できていないと知り、溜息まじりに先を続ける詢子。
Junko:	Do you want to solve this, even if it's not the nicest way to do it?	詢子「たとえ綺麗じゃない方法だとしても、解決したいかい?」
Madoka:	Yeah.	まどか「うん」
Junko:	All you have to do is make a mistake for her.	詢子「ならーー間違えればいいのさ」
Junko stirs her glass, mixing her whiskey with ice.		グラスを揺らし、氷で水割りを混ぜる詢子。
Junko:	Somebody has to be in the wrong to balance out her need to be in the right.	詢子「正しすぎるその子のぶんまで、誰かが間違えてあげればいい」
Madoka:	Do something wrong?	まどか「間違える...?」
Junko:	Tell a white lie, or run away from something scary. Sometimes you realize that was actually the best choice in the end. Sometimes when you hit a dead end with no real alternatives, making a big mistake is an option.	詢子「ずるい嘘をついたり、恐いモノから逃げ出したり、でもそれが、後になってみたら正解だったって分かることがある。本当に他にどうしょうもないほどどん詰まりになったら、いっそ思い切って間違えちゃうのも手なんだよ」
Madoka:	But do you think she'll understand that I'm doing it for her own good?	まどか「それが、その子のためになるって...分かってもらえるかな?」
Junko:	She may or may not. Especially at first. I told you it might not be the nicest way to do it. But would you rather give up on her, or give her the wrong idea about you?	詢子「解ってもらえないときもある。特にすぐにはね。言ったろ?綺麗な解決じゃないって。...その子のことを諦めるより、誤解される方がまだマシだと思うかい?」
Madoka:	...	まどか「...」
This makes Madoka more worried. Junko takes another sip, smiling gently.		思い悩むまどかを前に、詢子は酒をロにしつつ、優しく微笑む。
Junko:	Madoka, you grew up to be a good girl. You don't lie, and you don't do anything bad. You're always trying hard to do what is right. You're already a wonderful child. That's why you should start learning how to make mistakes before you grow up.	詢子「まどか、あんたはいい子に育った。嘘もつかないし、悪いこともしない。いつだって正しくあろうとして頑張ってる。子供としてはもう合格だ。...だからね、大人になるまえに、今度は間違え方もちゃんと勉強しておきな」
Madoka:	Learning how to make mistakes?	まどか「勉強...なの?」
Junko:	You recover from injury faster when you're young. If you learn how to fall down now, it'll be easier for you later on... When you get older, making mistakes gets harder. The more things you're responsible for, the less mistakes you can make.	詢子「若いうちは怪我の治りも早い。今のうちに上手な転び方を覚えといたら、後々きっと役に立つよ。...大人になるとねー、どんどん間違えるのが難しくなっちゃうんだ。プライドとか責任とかね、護るモノ、背負ったモノが増えるほど、下手を打てなくなってくの」
Madoka:	I see...	まどか「ふうん...」
Madoka drinks her juice, as she digests Junko's words.		詢子の言葉に考え込みながら、ゆっくりジュースを飲むまどか。
Madoka:	Isn't that hard?	まどか「それって、辛くない?」
Junko:	Being an adult is hard for everybody. That's why they let you drink.	詢子「大人は誰だって辛いのさ。だから酒飲んでもいいってことになってんの」
Junko laughs at her joke. Madoka joins in too.		冗談めかして笑う詢子。つられてまどかも笑う。
Madoka:	I want to grow up and drink with you.	まどか「わたしも、早くママとお酒飲んでみたいなあ」
Junko:	Hurry up and get older. As difficult as it is, it's fun being an adult.	詢子「さっさと大きくなっちゃいな。辛いぶんだけ楽しいぞぉ、大人は」

Kyousuke Hospital Room

Kyousuke Hospital Room		恭介の病室
Evening. Sayaka visits, bringing a souvenir with her as usual.		夕方。いつものように、見舞いの手土産を持って訪れるさやか。
But Kyousuke's bed is empty. Everything has been cleared out.		だが恭介のベッドは空で、私物も綺麗に片付けられている。
Sayaka:	...Eh?	さやか「...あれ?」
Sayaka feels lost. Nurse A sees her from behind.		途方に暮れるさやか。その背中を見咎める看護師A。
Nurse A:		看護師A「あら?上条さんなら昨日退院したわよ」
Sayaka:	Yes, that's right.	さやか「そ、そうなんですか?」
Nurse A:	His rehabilitation was going well, so his schedule was moved up.	看護師A「リハビリの経過も順調だったから、予定が前倒しになってーー連絡、行つてなかったの?」
Sayaka:	I-I see.	さやか「ええ、まあ」
Sayaka escapes with a false smile.		曖昧な愛想笑いでお茶を濁すさやか。

Kamijou Home - Gate

Kamijou Home - Gate		上条家の前
Night. Sayaka has walked here from the hospital. She stands in front of the gate.		夜。病院からそのままの足で、上条家の門前に立っさやか。
Sayaka hesitate over the doorbell. Lingering, a faint sound of violin melody can be heard.		チャイムを押すかどうか、やや逡巡しているうちに、ふと微かにヴァイオリンの旋律を聞き咎める。
Kyousuke is absorbed in his lesson.		レッスンに没頭している恭介の演奏である。
Sayaka:	...	さやか「...」
The music reaches Sayaka's ears. Just by listening, she can feel Kyousuke's focus.		演奏に耳を澄ますさやか。ただ聞いているだけでも、大変な集中力で練習に入れ込んでいる恭介の気迫が伝わってくる。
Sayaka doesn't wish to disturb him. A lonely smile. She lowers the hand from the doorbell.		とても邪魔できない、と思ったさやかは、寂しげに微笑んで、チャイムを押そうとしていた手を引っ込める。
Sayaka is about to leave, but stop suddenly with a tense expression.		そのまま帰ろうとするさやか。だがすぐさま、緊張の面持ちで立ち止まる。
In front of Sayaka, Kyouko walks under a street light's from the darkness. Chewing on a churro in her hand.		さやかの行く手に、闇の中から街灯の光の中へと、ゆっくり歩み出てくる杏子。手にしたチユロスを囓っている。
Kyouko:	--Going home without even seeing him? You've been chasing him around all day.	杏子「ーー会いもしないで帰るのかい?今日一日追いかけ回したくせに?」
Sayaka:	You...	さやか「おまえは...」
Kyouko:	I know all about it. The little rich boy who lives here, right? The one you made a contract with Kyubey for. Christ. You wasted your only chance for a miracle on something that stupid?	杏子「知ってるよ。この家の坊ゃなんだろ? あんたがキユウベえと契約した理由って。...まったく。たった一度の奇跡のチャンスを、クダラネエ事に使い潰しゃがって」
Sayaka:	What would you know?!	さやか「お前なんかに...何が分かる!」
Kyouko:	A hell of a lot more than you, dummy. Magic is only supposed to be used to grant wishes for yourself. No good comes out of using it for someone else. --Didn't Tomoe Mami even teach you that much?	杏子「分かってねえのはそっちだパヵ。魔法つてのはね、徹頭徹尾、自分だけの望みを叶えるためのもんなんだよ。他人のために使ったところでロクなことにはならないのさ。ーー巴マミは、その程度のことも教えてくれなかったのかい?」
Sayaka:	....Ha.	さやか「...ツ」
Sayaka recalls Mami with the same advice. She bites her tongue.		マミに全く同じことを諌められた記憶が蘇り、歯噛みするさやか。
Kyouko:	There are better ways of making a guy you love fall for you. After all, you've got all that magic now.	杏子「惚れた男をモノにするなら、もっと冴えた手があるじゃない? せっかく手に入れた魔法でさあ」
Sayaka:	Wh-What?	さやか「...なに?」
Kyouko:	Just go in there and break his hands and legs so bad, he'll never be able to use them again. Make him so helpless that he won't be able to do anything without you. Do that, and he'll be yours and yours alone. Both his body and his heart.	杏子「今すぐ乗リ込んでいって、坊やの手も足も、二度と使えないぐらいに潰してやりな。もう一度、あんた無しでは何もできない身体にしてやるんだよ。そうすれば今度こそ坊やはアンタのもんだ。身も心も全部、ね」
Sayaka:	...Ha.	さやか「...ツ」
Sayaka is so angry she's loss for words.		怒りのあまり言葉を失うさやか。
Kyouko:	If you don't have the guts, then I could do it for you. Just think of it as a favor to my fellow magical girl. It's no sweat.	杏子 「気が退けるってんなら、アタシが代わりに引き受けてもいいんだよ?同じ魔法少女のよしみだ。おやすい御用さ」
Sayaka:	...I will...never forgive you...I'll take you down this time...	さやか「...絶対に...お前だけは絶対に、許さない...今度こそ必ず...ツ」
Sayaka rages with a murderous intent. Kyouko smiles with contempt.		殺気立つさやかを前にして、不敵に笑う杏子。
Kyouko:	Let's take this some place else, then. We wouldn't want to attract a crowd.	杏子「場所を変えようか。ここじゃ人目に付きそうだ」

Kaname Home - Madoka Room

Kaname Home - Madoka Room		鹿目家、まどかの私室
Madoka doing homework at her desk.		勉強机について宿題を片付けているまどか。
But She can't focus at all. Her thoughts is elsewhere. In her mind replays the conversation with Junko from last night.		だがまったく集中できず、物思いに耽っている。脳裏をよぎるのは昨夜の詢子の言葉。
Junko:	(Voice Over) Somebody has to be in the wrong to balance out her need to be in the right.	詢子M「ーー正しすぎるその子のぶんまで、誰かが間違えてあげればいいーー』
Madoka:	But how could I...	まどか「そんなこと、言われでも...」
At at the same time, Kyubey's telepathy reaches Madoka's mind.	そのとき、まどかの脳裏にキユウベえからのテレパシーが届く。
Kyubey:	Madoka...Madoka!	キユウベえ『まどか...まどか!』
Madoka turns around and immediately sees Kyubey by the window.		ぎょっとして振リ向くまどか。すると部屋の窓の外に、キユウベえがしがみついている。
Kyubey:	Hurry! Sayaka's in trouble! Follow me!	キユウベえ『急いで!さやかが危ない! ついてきて!』

Overpass Above a Freeway

Overpass Above a Freeway		高速道路上の跨道橋
A overpass across a 4-lane freeway. Underneath the bridge are crowded freeway traffic, but above is a complete blind-spot. No one can will notice from below.		4車線の高速道路を跨ぐ、小さな橋。眼下の高速道路は往来が激しく騒がしい一方で、橋の上は一種の死角となり、誰の自にも留まらない。
Sayaka and Kyouko stands some distance apart. Kyouko is still eating her churro.		やや距離を置いて対時するさやかと杏手。杏子は相変わらずチユロスを食べている。
Kyouko:	We won't have to hold back here. It's party time.	杏子「ここなら遠慮はいらないよねえ。いっちょ派手にいこうじゃない」
Kyouko transforms as a magical girl. Sayaka places her Soul Gem on her palm.		杏子、魔法少女スタイルに変身。さやかもまたソウルジエムを手に身構える。
Madoka and Kyubey reach there in a rush.		そこに駆けつけるまどかとキユウベえ。
Madoka:	Wait! Sayaka-chan!	まどか「待って、さやかちゃん!」
Sayaka:	M-Madoka...	さやか「まどか...」
Sayaka is perplex for a moment, but immediately collects her fighting spirit.		一瞬、虚を突かれるさやかだが、すぐにまた闘志の表情に戻る。
Sayaka:	Don't get in the way. This isn't even any of your business.	さやか「邪魔しないで。そもそもまどかは関係ない話なんだから」
Madoka:	No, this is definitely wrong!	まどか「駄目だょこんなの!絶対おかしいよ!」
Watching Madoka desperately tries to stop Sayaka, Kyouko glares coldly.		必死に制止するまどかに、冷笑を浴びせる杏子。
Kyouko:	Hmph. Annoying jerks sure attract annoying friends.	杏子「フン、ウザイ奴にはウザイ仲間がいるもんだねえ」
Homura:	I wonder what sort of friends you have, then.	ほむら「じゃあ、あなたの仲間はどうなのかしら?」
Homura's habit of suddenly appearing behind her makes Kyouko uncomfortable.		不意に杏子の背後に姿を現すほむら。忌々しげに舌打ちする杏子。
Homura:	This isn't what we agreed on. I thought I told you to keep your hands off of Miki Sayaka.	ほむら「話が違うわ。美樹さやかには手を出すなと言った筈よ」
Kyouko:	Your method wouldn't get the message across! She's not backing down either way.	杏子「あんたのやり方じゃ手緩すぎるんだよ。ーーどのみち、向こうはやる気だぜ」
Homura:	Then...	ほむら「なら...」
Homura transforms.		変身するほむら。
Homura:	I'll take her on. Stay out of it.	ほむら「...私が相手をする。手出ししないで」
Kyouko:	Pssh.	杏子「フン」
Kyouko raises the very last bit of her churro.		杏子、短くなったチュロスを掲げて、
Kyouko:	You've got until I finish eating this.	杏子「じゃあコイツを食い終わるまで待ってやる」
Homura:	That's plenty of time.	ほむら「充分よ」
This exchange between Kyouko and Homura enrages Sayaka even further.		杏子とほむらのやりとりを聞いて、ますます怒るさやか。
Sayaka:	Don't underestimate me!	さやか「舐めるんじゃ、ないわよ...」
Sayaka lifts her Soul Gem, ready to transform.		ソウルジエムを掲げ、変身しようとするさやか。
Can no longer stand by and do nothing, Madoka suddenly has an idea.		見かねたまどかは、即座に覚悟を決める。
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan, I'm sorry!	まどか「さやかちゃんーーごめん!」
Madoka suddenly snatches Sayaka's Soul Gem from her hand.		いきなり横合いから、さやかの手の中のソウルジエムを奪い取るまどか。
Sayaka:	Wha...!?	さやか「なっ...!?」
Kyouko and Homura are just as stunned as Sayaka.		さやかのみならず、杏子とほむらも呆気にとられる。
Madoka immediately throws the Soul Gem into the traffic below.		まどかは奪い取ったソウルジエムを、即座に跨道橋の下の高速道路へと投げ捨てる。
It falls on top of a truck passing by, instantly taken away.		ソウルジエムは、たまたま真下を走っていたトラックの荷台にひっかかり、一瞬のうちに彼方へと運び去られていく。
Homura:	--Shit!	はむら「ーーまずいッ!」
Homura turns pale. Suddenly (actually time control, but appears to) teleports, she chases behind the truck.		血相を変えるほむら。いきなり瞬間移動(に見える時間操作)で姿を消し、トラックの後を追う。
Sayaka:	Madoka, what the hell?!	さやか「まどか...あんた何てことをツ」
Madoka:	But if I hadn't...	まどか「だって、こうしないと...」
Sayaka steps toward Madoka, but suddenly lost her strength and collapse into Madoka's arms.		まどかに食つでかかろうとするさやか。だが急に脱力し、まどかの腕の中に倒れ込む。
Madoka:	...Sayaka-chan?	まどか「...さやかちゃん?」
Madoka is dumbstruck by what happened.		何が起こったのか分からずきょとんとなるまどか。
Sayaka lays motionless, her eyes empty of life.		さやかは虚ろな目をしたまま、身動きひとつしない。
Kyubey:	That was bad, Madoka.	キユウべえ「今のはまずかったよ、まどか」
Seemingly surprised, Kyubey shakes its head.		呆れ果てたかのように、かぶりを振るキユウベえ。
Kyubey:	How could you just throw away your friend like that? Are you crazy?	キユウベえ「よりにもよって友達を放り投げるなんて、どうかしてるよ」
Madoka:	What... What are you saying?	まどか「何?...何なの?」
Kyouko walks solemnly forward. With a sudden lunge, she lifts Sayaka up by her neck roughly.		強張った表情でずかずか歩み寄ってくる杏子。いきなり乱暴にさやかの首を掴む。
Madoka hastily attempts to stop her.		慌てて抵抗するまどか。
Madoka:	S-Stop it!	まどか「ゃ、やめて!」
Kyouko:	What the hell is this...?	杏子「...どういうことだ、おい?」
Kyouko faces Kyubey instead of Madoka, ask with outrage.		杏子、まどかではなくキユウベえに向けて、押し殺した声で問、っ。
Kyouko:	She's dead!	杏子「こいつ、死んでるじゃねーかよ!」
Madoka is so startled by Kyouko's words that she can't react.		驚きのあまり表情が凍りつくまどか。

Freeway

Freeway		高速道路
Homura struggles to catch up to the vehicle carrying the Soul Gem. She teleports, one after another (actually several time stops. She has been running nonstop).		さやかのソウルジエムを荷台に載せたまま先行するトラックを、述続テレポートで必死に追うほむら。(実際には何度も時を止め、そのたびに全力疾走を繰り返してます)

Overpass

Overpass		跨道橋の上
Sayaka's body remains motionless, neither breathing or heartbeats.		依然、何の反応もないさやかの身体。呼吸も脈もない。
Madoka is stunned, unable to comprehend the situation.		事態が理解できず呆然となるまどか。
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan? Hey, Sayaka-chan? Wake up! Say something!	まどか「さやかちゃん、ねえ、さやかちゃん...起きて、ねえ?」
Madoka shakes Sayaka's shoulders repeatly, but Sayaka simply sway back and forth like a puppet.		何度もさやかの肩をゆするまどか。だがさやかの首は人形のようにぐらぐらと揺れるだけ。
Madoka:	What's wrong? I don't want this to happen! Sayaka-chan!	まどか「ねえ、ちょっと...どうしたの?ねえ!?嫌だよ、こんなの...さやかちゃあん!!」
As Madoka falls into hysteria, Kyouko also becomes irritated by the situation.		パニックに陥るまどか。杏子もまた、理解を超えた状況に焦る。
Kyouko:	What the hell is going on? Hey...!	杏子「何がどうなってやがんだ、おい...」
Kyubey:	You magical girls can only control your bodies from 100 meters away, at most.	キユウベえ「君たち魔法少女が身体をコントロールできるのは、せいぜい100メートル圏内が限度だからね」
Only Kyubey remains calm in such a situation.		ただひとり、冷静なまま説明するキユウベえ。
Kyouko:	100 meters?! What the hell does that mean?	杏子「100メートル? 何のことだ? どういう意味だ!?」
Kyubey:	You normally carry them with you, so accidents like this are rare.	キユウべえ「普段は当然、肌身離さず持ち歩いてるんだから、こういろ事故は滅多にあることじゃないんだけど...」
Madoka:	What are you saying, Kyubey? Save her! Don't let Sayaka-chan die!	まどか「何言ってるのよキユウベえ!助けてよ!さやかちゃんを死なせないで!」
Madoka appeals to Kyubey frantically. Kyubey simply sighs.		半狂乱でキュゥベえに訴えるまどか。だがキュゥべえは溜息まじりに、
Kyubey:	Madoka, that isn't Sayaka. It's just an empty shell.	キユウベえ「まどか、そっちはさやかじゃなくて、ただの抜け殻なんだって」
Madoka:	Eeh...?	まどか「え...」
Madoka is at a loss.		途方に暮れるまどか。
Kyubey:	You just threw Sayaka away.	キユウベえ「さやかはさっき、君が投げて捨てちゃったじゃないか」
Kyouko:	Wh-what...?	杏子「な...」
A sudden realization comes to her, Kyouko stares at her Soul Gem in shock.		キユウベえの言葉の意味を悟り、愕然と、自分のソウルジエムを見つめる杏子。
Kyouko:	What...did you say	杏子「なん...だと?」

Freeway

Freeway		高速道路
Homura is still chasing the truck.		引き続き、トラックを追っているほむら。
She finally grabs onto to the truck bed.		何とかして荷台の端にしがみつき、上へと這い上がる。
Kyubey:	(Off Screen) I couldn't just ask you to fight witches with a fragile human body.	キユウベえoff「ただの人間と同じ壊れやすい身体のままで、魔女と戦ってくれなんて、とてもお願いできないよ」
Homura lunges at Sayaka's Soul Gem that rests besides a pallet. She breaths a sigh of relief.		荷台の片隅に引っかかっていたさやかのソウルジエムを掴み取るほむら。安堵の溜息。
Kyubey:	(Off Screen) A magical girl's old body is nothing more than a piece of external hardware. Your actual soul is given a much safer, compact form that is capable of controlling magic much more efficiently.	キユウベえoff「君たち魔法少女にとって、もとの身体なんでいうのは外付けのハードウエアでしかないんだ。君たちの本体としての魂には、魔力をより効率よく運用できる、コンパクトで安全な姿が与えられてる」

Overpass

Overpass		跨道橋の上
Kyubey continue to explain in a neutral fashion, in front of Madoka's and Kyouko's faces of horror.		恐怖に顔を引き攣らせたまどかと杏子の前で、淡々と説明を続けているキユウベえ。
Kyubey:	It's part of my job, when I complete a magical girl's contract. I extract your souls and turn them into Soul Gems.	キユウベえ「魔法少女との契約を取り結ぶ僕の役目はね、君たちの魂を抜き取って、ソウルジエムに変えることなのさ」
Kyouko:	What the hell did you do to us?	杏子「てめえは...なんてことを...」
In anger, Kyouko seizes at Kyubey by its ears.		怒りのあまりキユウベえの耳を鷲掴みにする杏子。
Kyouko:	You bastard! You basically turned us into zombies!	杏子「ふざけるんじゃねえ!それじゃアタシたち、ゾンピにされたようなもんじゃないか!」
Kyubey:	Isn't it more convenient? Even if your heart is torn to shreds, or you lose every drop of blood, your body can be fixed in no time with magical healing. You're basically invincible, provided that your Soul Gem is intact. Isn't that far more advantageous than fighting with a human body full of vital organs?	キユウベえ「むしろ便利だろう?心臓が破れても、ありつたけの血を抜かれでも、その身体は魔力で修理すればすぐまた動くようになる。ソウルジエムさえ砕かれない限り君たちは無敵だよ。弱点だらけの人体よりも、よほど戦いでは有利じゃないか」
Madoka:	That's terrible... That's too awful.	まどか「ひどいよ...そんなの、あんまりだよ...」
No a hint of apology from Kyubey, only confusion.		だがキユウべえは何ら悪びれた風もなく、むしろ心底途方にくれている。
Kyubey:	You're all the same. You always react like this when you're told what's really going on. I don't get it at all. Why are humans so touchy about the placement of their souls?	キユウベえ「...君たちはいつもそうだね。事実をありのままに伝えると、決まって同じ反応をする。訳が分からないよ。どうして人間はそんなに、魂の在処にこだわるんだい?」
Kyouko:	...Ugh.	杏子「...ツ」
Kyouko trembles in anger. Madoka bust into tears, holding Sayaka's body tightly.		怒りにわなわなと震える杏子。さやかの死体を抱いたまま、涙に暮れるまどか。
Homura returns. She returns Sayaka's Soul Gem to Sayaka's hand.		そこへ帰還するほむら。持ち帰ったソウルジエムを、さやかの手に握らせる。
In a moment, Sayaka jolts suddenly and opens her eyes.		直後、ぷるりと身震いして目を開けるさやか。
Sayaka:	..Ah...?	さやか「...あ...?」
Sayaka, dazed and confused, looks around.		しばらく状況が呑み込めず、さやかは途方に暮れて辺りを見回す。
Sayaka:	...What? What's wrong?	さやか「...何? 何なの?」

Episode 6 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: Can Kyubey detect Homura's use of magic? Gen I rewrote this entire section in Draft 0. The sequence where, "Homura request Sayaka to avoid conflict with Kyouko, and Sayaka relies this city is mine" was cut. I also adjusted the last words simply, so the whole truth regarding Soul Gems was revealed in this episode.

ーーほむらの能力の発揮を見て、キユウベえも何か勘付くという。 「ここは0稿からシーンまるごと削ったり再編したりしています。カットしたのは、学校の屋上で『佐倉杏子と衝突してほしくない』とほむらがさやかに頼み、『この街は、あたしが護る』とさやかが言い切るシーンです。この回は、とにかく愚後のソウルジェムの秘密が明かされるところまで辿り着いて終わらせねば、というのがありまして整理した都分ですね」

Episode 7: Can You Face Your True Feelings?

Part A

Previously,

Previously,
Madoka tosses Sayaka's Soul Gem. It tumbles in the air.
Kyubey:	(Off Screen) A magical girl's old body is nothing more than a piece of external hardware. Your actual soul is given a much safer, compact form that is capable of controlling magic much more efficiently. Sayaka's body limps lifelessly in Madoka's arms.
Kyubey:	It's part of my job, when I complete a magical girl's contract. I extract your souls and turn them into Soul Gems.

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
Sayaka returns.
Sayaka and Kyubey are alone in the room. Sayaka tosses her Soul Gem on her desk. Her expression turns as she asks Kyubey.
Sayaka:	What's going on? You said my body is but an empty husk...
Kyubey:	I simply give your soul physical form, so your spirit can be converted into energy--
Sayaka:	I never heard of this!
Sayaka erupts in anger.
Sayaka:	You tricked us, didn't you?
Kyubey acts confused.
Kyubey:	I distinctly remember asking you to become a magical girl. I just didn't explain precisely\N what would be involved.
Sayaka:	Why didn't you tell us?!
Kyubey:	You never asked. It wouldn't have bothered you one bit if you'd never found out. Mami, for example, never did.
Kyubey remains nonchalant in front of a fuming Sayaka.
Kyubey:	Besides, you humans don't even realize you have souls in the first place.
Kyubey points at Sayaka's head.
Kyubey:	Your body's nothing more than a collection of neurons--
Then points towards her heart.
Kyubey:	...and a centralized cardiovascular system. In addition, when the human body ceases to function, the soul is lost. I gave your soul a physical form to prevent that from happening— a form you can pick up and protect with your own hands. That way, you can battle withes with greater safety.
Sayaka:	Nobody asked you to do that!
Kyubey:	You still don't understand what it's like to fight, do you?
Kyubey sighs in disappointment.
Kyubey:	For example, take the pain you would experience upon being impaled by a spear.
Sayaka:	Ah--!!
An excruciating pain suddenly returns to Sayaka's abdomen. She falls to her knees in pain.
Kyubey:	This is how it would actually feel. A single strike would be enough to incapacitate you.
Sayaka:	Ah...Oww...
Struggling from the pain, Sayaka remembers her battle with Kyouko in Episode 5.
She shivers from the many killing blows she received.
Kyubey stares attentively at Sayaka. He continues to explain in his neutral fashion.
Kyubey:	Pain inhibition was the only reason you remained standing to the end against Kyouko. It was only possible because your consciousness isn't directly linked with your body. That's how you were able to survive that battle.
Kyubey lets go of the Soul Gem.
The pain immediately disappears. Sayaka's breath heavily, her body in a heap.
Kyubey:	In time, you can even learn to completely cut off pain. But I won't recommend that, since it tends to slow you down.
Sayaka:	Why... Why did you do this to us?
Sayaka asks in tears. Kyubey smirks.
Kyubey:	You had a wish important enough to commit yourself to a life of battle, did you not? And your wish came true, didn't it?

School - Classroom

School - Classroom
Morning. Before Class. A bunch of rowdy classmates.
Kazuko Saotome comes in. The class rep calls for attention.
Saotome:	Stand. Bow~
Madoka glance warily at Sayaka's empty seat. She's not coming today?

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
Curtains closed, the room is dark.
Sayaka buries herself in blankets.
Cupping her Soul Gem tightly in her hand, she stares at its faint glow.

School - Rooftop

School - Rooftop
Break time. Madoka and Homura faces each other.
Madoka:	Homura-chan, did you know about that?
Homura nods in silence.
Madoka:	Why didn't you tell us?
Homura:	Nobody I've warned has ever believed me before.
Madoka:	...
Madoka wants to ask Homura - why does she always look like she has given up on everyone - but the words won't come out. |
Madoka decides to switch topic.
Madoka:	Why would Kyubey do something so cruel?
Homura:	He doesn't think it's cruel. He's a creature that doesn't understand human values. He'd just say it was an appropriate payment for bringing about a miracle.
Madoka:	That's not fair at all!
Madoka can't help but shout.
Madoka:	How could he do that to her? All Sayaka-chan wanted was to heal the person she loved...!
Homura:	It was still a miracle. He made the impossible possible.
Homura answers calmly.
Homura:	Even if Miki Sayaka dedicated her entire life to caring for him, he would never have recovered enough to play the violin again. Normally, a miracle costs far more than a human life, but that's the price for which Kyubey sells them.
Madoka does not agree, but can't find a rebuttal. After a moment, she asks another question.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan won't be able to go back to her normal life?
Homura:	...
Homura seems lost for words.
Madoka:	If she stop using magic, she doesn't need to find more Grief Seeds; then she doesn't have to keep fighting Witches, right?
Homura:	Simply maintaining the body consumes a minimum amount of magic. So Grief Seeds are still a necessity. She would still need to hunt Witches.
Madoka:	....
Madoka falls silent, but she doesn't want to give up on Sayaka yet. Her mind races desperately for another way out.
Seeing Madoka struggling, Homura finally forces herself to speak coldly.
Homura:	...I've said this before, have I not? Give up on Miki Sayaka.
Madoka:	...Sayaka-chan saved me!
Madoka recalls when she was attacked by a Witch in Episode 4.
Madoka:	If she hadn't been a magical girl at the time, Hitomi-chan and I would have died...!
Homura:	Don't confuse gratitude with responsibility.
Homura speaks plainly, without any emotion.
Homura:	There is no way for you to save her. If you're thinking of returning the favor to alleviate your own sense of guilt, I suggest you reconsider.
Madoka can no longer stand Homura's indifference towards Sayaka. Madoka's body shakes involuntarily.
Madoka:	...Homura-chan, why are you always so cold?
Homura:	I suppose...
Homura looks down on the Soul Gem in her hand, her usual self-deprecating smile.
Homura:	...it's because I'm no longer human as well.
Madoka:	...
She has given up on herself as well. Madoka's heart sinks from the realization.

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
It's afternoon, yet Sayaka still hasn't leave her bed.
Depressed, her mind wanders to Kyousuke.
Sayaka:	How can I visit Kyousuke after being turned into this thing...?
At this moment, Kyouko suddenly calls for Sayaka telepathically.
Kyouko:	How long are you gonna lie there feeling sorry for yourself, dummy?
Sayaka:	...!?
Surprised, Sayaka jump out from under cover.
She looks out of her window to the street below.
Kyouko stands by Sayaka's doorstep, eating an apple. Kyouko holds a grocery bag full of apple in her other hand.
Kyouko:	Come out for a bit. We need to talk.

Dusk - Outside of the City

Dusk - Outside of the City
On a hill, they follow on a small path covered in weed. Kyouko walks out front, holding an apple.
Sayaka follows, staring at Kyouko's defenseless behind.
Sayaka is tense. Looking down on her again? Is this a trap?
Kyouko:	You regret what was done to your body, don't you?
Sayaka:	...
Kyouko ignores the non-response and continues.
Kyouko:	I'm starting to think it doesn't really matter. I mean, I'm able to do what I want because I acquired these powers. It's not really something I regret.
Sayaka:	You... just got what you deserved.
Kyouko:	Yeah! You can just think of it that way.
A nonchalant reply.
Kyouko:	If you live only for yourself, everything you do is your fault. You have no reason to resent others, and you'll never have any regrets.
Sayaka:	...
Sayaka fails to read the meaning between Kyouko's words.
The two arrives on the top of the hill. Here rests what remained of an abandoned church.

Abandoned Church

Abandoned Church
Kyouko kicks open the entrance and enters. Sayaka follows behind.
Sayaka:	...Why did you bring me the way out here?
Kyouko toys with the apple in her hand, as if gestating for words. She walks, step by step, towards the altar.
Kyouko:	It's kind of a long story.
Kyouko takes out an apple from her bag and toss it to Sayaka.
Kyouko:	Want one?
Sayaka:	....
Sayaka clenches her teeth in anger and tosses the apple aside.
Suddenly, Kyouko lunges at Sayaka, grabbing her by the throat. Displaying an anger like never before.
Kyouko:	Don't ever waste food... I'll kill you if you do.
Sayaka:	...
Kyouko turned hostile so quickly, that Sayaka is frozen by the surprise.
Kyouko releases Sayaka. She picks up the apple that Sayaka tossed away, cleans it carefully, and places it back into the bag.
Ignoring Sayaka's shock, Kyouko paces the church as she recall her past.
Kyouko:	...This place was my father's church.

Kyouko's Recollection

Kyouko's Recollection
A spotless church in the past, Kyouko's father replaces an old candle and lights the new one.
A younger Kyouko, and her younger sister, cleaning in their aprons.
Father gazes at his daughters and smiles.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) He was an extremely honest and kind person. The type of person who'd cry just from reading the morning paper, and put serious thought into how to make the world a better place.
Father preaches to the congregation sitting in the pews.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) My dad always said that a new religion was needed to save a new era. That's why he started preaching things that weren't part of the scripture.
An empty church.
Kyouko and her father at a loss.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) As you expected, people stopped coming to his sermons. Then she got excommunicated by the Church. The church slowly becomes desolate, falls into ruins.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) No one would listen to what he had to say. It shouldn't have been a surprise. From the outside, it would've looked like some sketchy cult. No matter how right he was. No matter how logical the things he said were, he was just an outcast in the eyes of society.
Kyouko and father, their cloth worn, visit a congregation's home. But they're turned away at the door.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) Our whole family was left with nothing, not even food.
Sakura family dining table. A pitiful dinner consists of watery soup.
Kyouko:	I couldn't accept it. My dad wasn't saying anything wrong. It was just different from what people were used to hearing.
The frustrated father and child walk in a bustling night market.
Not a single person looks at the pair.
Kyouko:
But in the end, no one listened to him.
Kyouko's father slumps in a pew, alone.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) Father sits alone in the empty church, waiting for people to return, like a clown... I couldn't stand it. It was unforgivable.
A frail Kyouko walks on the street. Her gaze focus on an apple on a fruit stand. She can't help from wanting to stealing it.
She is caught and beaten.

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Kyouko stares at the apple in her hand.
Kyouko:	That's why my wish was that everyone would listen to my dad's words.
Sayaka:	...
Sayaka can't hide her shock from the revelation.

Kyouko's Recollection

Kyouko's Recollection
Suddenly, a huge congregation fills the church.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) The next morning, his church was filled with people. The number of believers multiplied at a frightening rate each day...
City night time. Magical Girl Kyouko valiantly fights witches.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) and I became yet another magical girl.
Father preaches to the full congregation with renewed vigor.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) No matter how good his sermons were, they wouldn't get rid of the witches. I thought that was where I came in, so I got all hyped up about it like an idiot, thinking we'd save the world together - from the light and from the shadows.

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Kyouko bite her apple hard, grins warily.
Kyouko:	But one day my dad found out what was going on.
Sayaka:	...
Kyouko:	He completely lost it when he realized all his folowers were only there because of magic. He called me, his own daughter, a witch who sways the hearts of others. Oh, the irony. I mean, I was the one who'd been fighting the real witches every night.

Kyouko's Recollection

Kyouko's Recollection
Sakura Kitchen. Blood everywhere.
Father hanging from the ceiling; his feet dangles in the air.
Kyouko watches the scene in shock at the entrance.
Kyouko:	(Off Screen) That ruined my father. he met a pitiful end. He started binge drinking, lost his grip on reality, and wound up killing his family, then himself.

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Finished, Kyouko tosses the empty core on the floor.
Kyouko:	My wish destroyed my entire family.
Sayaka:	...
The truth leaves Sayaka lost for words.
Kyouko:	Because I made a wish for someone else without knowing what he really wants, I ruined many lives. That's when I swore to myself that I'd never use magic for others again. I'd use my powers only for myself.

Part B

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present
Sayaka turns to face Sayaka, speaking to her solemnly.
Kyouko:	Miracles aren't free. If you wish for hope, an equal amount of despair is scattered across the world. It all cancels out to zero. That's how the balance of the world is maintained.
Sayaka:	...Why are you telling me this?
Sayaka asks, keeping her gaze on the floor.
Kyouko:	...
Kyouko doesn't want Sayaka to see her embarrassment, falls silent.
Kyouko takes another apple out of the bag.
Kyouko:	You shouldn't start doing more things you'll regret. You've already paid too high a price for what you got. So now, you should start thinking about how to get your money's worth.
Sayaka:	...Like you, huh?
Kyouko:	That's right.
Kyouko's gaze shifts from the uneaten apple to Sayaka, motions her to take it.
Kyouko:	You just need to stop worrying and do whatever you want. Live only for yourself.
Realizing Kyouko isn't a bad person, Sayaka smiles. She replies with a slight sarcasm.
Sayaka:	...That doesn't add up. If you're only living for yourself, then why worry about me?
Kyouko:	...
Slightly disappointed, Kyouko does not reply. Instead she continues to speak frankly.
Kyouko:	We both started off with the same mistake...I've come to realize my mistake, but you're still making yours. I couldn't watch you go on like that.
Sayaka finally raises her head to stare right at Kyouko.
Sayaka:	I had the wrong idea about you. I'm sorry for that. I really am.
Kyouko:	....
Kyouko feels a small happiness. It makes her want to smile, but Sayaka continues to speak frankly.
Sayaka:	But I don't regret having used my wish for someone else. I've decided never to regret my actions, so as not to cheapen the feelings I cherish. Never again.
Kyouko:	Why are you...
...not getting it? Sayaka interrupts Kyouko before she finishs her sentence.
Sayaka:	I don't believe I paid too high a price. I can do wonderful things with this power, if I use it right.
Kyouko:	...
Sayaka:	And what about you?
Sayaka turns her gaze from Kyouko, her voice stiffens.
Sayaka:	How did you get those apples. Where did you get the money to pay for them?
Kyouko:	...
Of course not legally, but Kyouko can't say those words.
Sayaka:	... You can't tell me, can you? In that case, I can't eat them. I wouldn't even want one.
Sayaka turns from Kyouko and prepares to leave the church ruin.
No longer holding back, Kyouko yells towards Sayaka's silhouette.
Kyouko:	You dumbass! We're magical girls! There's no one else like us!
Sayaka stops her step. Her head lowers slightly, as if with slight regret.
Sayaka:	I will continue fight in my own way. If that interferes with your life, you're welcome to try and kill me again. I no longer bear you any ill will, but nor will I lose.
Kyouko clenches her teeth in disgust. Disappointed, she takes another bite at the apple.

Morning - The Way to School

Morning - The Way to School
Sayaka walks slowly toward school.
Madoka and Hitomi catch up from behind.
Madoka:	Good morning, Sayaka-chan!
Hitomi:	Good morning, Sayaka-san.
Sayaka:	Good morning.
Sayaka replies, back to her usual self.
Madoka sees through Sayaka's act and feels a slight worry.
Hitomi:	What happened yesterday?
Sayaka:	I was feeling a little unwell.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan...
Are you alright? Before Madoka got the words out, Sayaka preempts her.
Sayaka:	It's okay. I'm fine now. Don't worry about me.
Madoka:	....
Sayaka:	Anyways, let's get--
Half went through her sentence, Sayaka sees Kyousuke walking towards school in clutches. She freezes.
Hitomi:	My, has Kamijou-kun been released from the hospital?
Hitomi is surprised.
Kyousuke walks in crutches with some difficulty, but cheerfully greets his classmates.
Sayaka:	...
Rather than happiness, Sayaka's emotions become even more complicated. Madoka becomes depressed from seeing this.

School - Classroom

School - Classroom
Classmates rowdy before class.
After a long absence, Kyousuke's classmates surround his desk.
Nakazawa:	Kamijou, are you okay to come to school?
Kyousuke:	Yeah. It wouldn't be rehab if I was cooped up in my home all day. My goal is to walk without crutches by next week.
Everyone are taking their turn to talk to Kyousuke. Sayaka tries to ignore the commotion by looking elsewhere. Madoka and Hitomi sit beside her.
Madoka:	I'm glad Kamijou-kun's doing well.
Sayaka:	Yeah...
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan, go say hi. You haven't said anything to her yet, right?
Sayaka:	I'm... okay for now.
Hitomi:	....
Sayaka is not her usual self. Madoka gets worried.
Hitomi stares at Sayaka, considering something.

Fast Food Restaurant

Fast Food Restaurant
The place on the road after school. Sayaka and Hitomi sits across from each other. The atmosphere is tense.
Sayaka:	So, what did you want to talk about?
Hitomi:	I need some relationship advice.
Hitomi speaks with some hesitation. It makes Sayaka tense as well.
Hitomi:	I've been keeping something from you and Madoka-san for a while now.
Sayaka:	Huh? O-Okay...
Hitomi:	I've... been attracted to Kamijou Kyousuke for some time now.
Stunned, Sayaka's eyes widens.
Sayaka:	I-I see.
Sayaka attempts to calm her shaking heart, but she's failing.
Sayaka:	I never would've expected that from you, Hitomi. Kyousuke sure is a lucky guy-
Hitomi reads Sayaka like paper, but remains earnest.
Hitomi:	You've known him for a long time, haven't you?
Sayka:	Yeah, but we're just old acquaintances, I guess.
Hitomi:	Is that really all?
Sayaka:	...
No point in hiding anymore. Sayaka swallows.
Hitomi:	I've decided that I won't lie to myself anymore. What about you? Sayaka-san, can you accept your true feelings?
Sayaka:	Wh-what are you talking about?
Hitomi:	You're a precious friend to me. So I don't want to steal him from you or try to court him behind your back. The straightforward declaration leaves Sayaka speechless.
Hitomi:	You've spent far more time with him than I have. That's why you should have the right to go after him first.
Sayaka:	Hitomi...
Hitomi:	I will confess my love to Kamijou-kun after school tomorrow. You have one whole day. Please decide on a course of action that you won't regret. Decide whether or not you'll tell him how you feel.
Sayaka:	I-I...
Hitomi stands up, bows, and leaves.

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room
Night time. The room lights are off. Only a desk lamp remains on. Sayaka lies on her desk.
Her Soul Gem sits on the table. It shines as if it's beckoning.
Kyubey sits in a corner in the darkness behind Sayaka. It speaks.
Kyubey:	What about tonight?
Sayaka:	... I get it. I'm going now.
Sayaka picks up her Soul Gem and stands up.

Miki Family Apartment Exit

Miki Family Apartment Exit
Sayaka quietly sneaks out for another witch hunt. Kyubey follows behind.
Madoka waits for her under the streetlight, just like in Episode 5.
Sayaka is shocked to find her there.
Sayaka:	Madoka...
Madoka:	Can I come with you?
Sayaka:	...
Sayaka has given up on everything, even her self-worth. Madoka's kindness just adds to her concerns.
Madoka:	I don't want you to be all on your own....
Madoka finds it difficult to express herself. Sayaka's eyes moist.
Sayaka:	Why are you... Why are you so kind to me? I don't deserve it...
Madoka:	That's not true.
Sayaka:	Today, I almost regretted what I'd done.
Madoka:	...
Sayaka:	For just a moment, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't saved Hitomi.... Some hero I turned out to be, Mami-san would be ashamed to have known me...
Madoka can't stand it anymore. She hugs Sayaka tightly.
Sayaka:	I'm going to lose Kyousuke to Hitomi...! And there's nothing I can do about it...!
Sayaka cries in Madoka's arms.
Sayaka:	I'm already dead! I am a zombie...! How can I ask him to hold this dead body...? How can I ask him to kiss my cold lips...?
Madoka:	...
Madoka start crying too, unable to say a word of reassurance.
Both in tears, they remain in embrace for some time.
After a while, Sayaka finally stops weeping. She pulls herself from Madoka.
Sayaka:	Thank you... I'm sorry.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan...
Sayaka:	I'm fine now. I feel better.
Sayaka:	Anyways, let's go. Those witches aren't gonna slay themselves.
Madoka:	... Right.

Warehouse District

Warehouse District
Between stacks of deserted containers, a dim light hints of a Witch's Barrier.
As if implying an intense battle, faint bolts of light leaks out with regularity.
Kyouko sits on a crane observing the situation. Expressionless, she munches a ice pop.
Homura suddenly appears, standing behind Kyouko.
Homura:	I'm surprised you're just sitting here watching.
Kyouko:	...She's fighting a witch today, not a familiar. It'll drop a Grief Seed. It's not a pointless hunt.
Homura:	And you'd let her take your prey for that, huh?
Kyouko:	...
Kyouko is about to rebuttal, but the Barrier twists. Its pulsation suddenly intensifies. Kyouko smacks her lips.
Kyouko:	Damn, that idiot. She's having trouble.

Inside the Barrier

Inside the Barrier
Sayaka and the Witch lock in heavy combat. Madoka and Kyubey watch from behind.
Far stronger than a mere Familiar, Sayaka has engaged this Witch for a long time in a bitter struggle. Madoka watches on the side with unease.
Sayaka:	Damn...
Sayaka finally succumbs to the constant barrage. She kneels. Unguarded, the Witch delivers a killing blow.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan! Watch out...!
Kyouko suddenly strikes at this time. The Witch lets go and leaps away.
Kyouko:	Goddamnit. I couldn't just sit there any longer.
Kyouko grunts while an ice pop dangles from her mouth.
Kyouko:	Just stay back for now. I'll show you how it's done.
With Sayaka safe behind her, Kyouko raises her spear in battle stance.
Sayaka stands up and walk in front of Kyouko instead.
Kyouko:	Hey--!
Sayaka:	Don't get in my way. I can do it myself.
The Witch strikes once more. Sayaka simply ignores the attack and charges directly at it.
The two sides meet. Sayaka's sword pierce the Witch, but she also receives a heavy blow.
Madoka:	Sayaka-chan!
Madoka weeps.
Yet, only the Witch curls in pain. With complete disregard to her injuries, Sayaka begins laughing.
Sayaka:	Haha... Ahaha.
Kyouko:	Don't tell me you...
Kyouko is lost for words.
The Witch retaliates in pain. Still refusing to parry, Sayaka lunges forward, sword-first.
Her body covered in blood, yet Sayaka laughs maniacally.
Sayaka:	Ahaha, it's true...! If I just detach myself... it doesn't hurt at all!
Sayaka continues to hack away at the Witch as she laughs. With wanton disregard to the counterattacks, Sayaka focus only on striking her opponent. The appalling scene leaves Kyouko speechless. Madoka cannot force herself to watch any longer, turns her gaze away.
Madoka:	Stop... Please stop...
But Madoka's words can no longer reach Sayaka. Her sword swings as she continue to grin.
Her frenzy sounds like a strange wail.

Episode 7 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: The opening sequence where Kyubey explained, "I simply give your soul physical form;" the conversation between a shakened Madoka and cold Homura, "If she stop using magic, she doesn't need to find more Grief Seeds; she doesn't have to keep fighting Witches, right?... Just maintaining the body consumes a minimum amount of magic. So Grief Seeds are still a necessity." These lines regarding the Grief Seed were cut. Gen That's right. During revision, I wanted to avoid cutting Kyouko's lines, so I end up cutting expositions like these instead. In terms of audience interest, I think this area end up lacking. Once I grasp the priorities for dialogue, I won't worry about lines to delete anymore. As result of this trade-off, Kyouko end up becoming this arc's MC? Gen Yes. Mami was before Episode 3; Sayaka until Episode 6; Kyouko up to Episode 9; and the final arc for Homura. This was the original structure. On the other hand, if we consider Kyouko as Sayaka's reflection, then even without dialogue Sayaka would be fine. Still, I was surprised by Kyouko's enormous popularity with the fans. This must be the result of Ai Nonaka's (Kyouko's VA) hard work. She managed to convey a "she's really a good girl" image, working diligently to create the emotions of a false villian. Originally, I figured a stereotypical bad girl voice would be sufficient, so Director Shinbo's choice of Miss Ai was a surprise to me. But it end up as a perfect fit.

Episode 10: I won't Depend on Anyone Anymore

Story returns to the past. Recently transferred, Homura becomes acquainted with her new classmate, Madoka. Madoka rescues Homura from a Witch attack and reveals to her the world of magical girls.

Some time later, the Walpurgisnacht arrives at the city. As a magical girl, Madoka faces Walpurgisnacht alone. She is defeated and dies in front of Homura. In her desperation, Homura contracts with Kyubey to return to the past. She teams up with Madoka to fight the Walpurgisnacht once more.

Homura matures as a magical girl, but is unable to save Madoka from the Walpurgisnacht. To save Madoka, Homura returns back in time over and over again. Suffering through endless failures and despairs, but Homura refuses to give up.

"I'll relive the same time over and over, searching for a way out. I'll find the one path that will save you from your fate of boundless despair... If it's for you, I don't mind being trapped in this endless maze for all of eternity!"

Homura becomes a time traveler.

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)
Morning class of Homura's first day in her new school. Homura stands before the blackboard, with the whole class's attention on her. She wears a pair of glasses and twin braids. A nervous, fidgeting, and frail girl.
Saotome:	Why don't you tell the class your name?
Homura:	Umm... I-I'm A-Akemi Homura... I, uh... I-It's nice to meet all of you.
Saotome writes Homura's name on the blackboard.
Saotome:	Akemi-san's been in the hospital for some time due to a heart condition. She hasn't been to school in quite a while, so I'm sure she'll run into a lot of difficulties. Make sure you all help her out, okay?
x x x
Recess. Homura's seat is surrounded by girls. They question her, full of curiosity.
Girl A:	Which school did you come from?
Girl B:	Were you in any clubs? Like sports, or art?
Girl C:	Your hair's really long. It must be tough braiding it every morning.
Homura:	I, uh...
The meak glasses-Homura turns even more timid.
During all this, Madoka interjects.
Madoka:	Akemi-san, you need to go to the nurse's office, right? Do you know where it is?
Homura:	Huh? No...
Madoka:	I'll take you there, then. I'm the health officer for this class. --Sorry, everyone, but Akemi-san has to go to the nurse's office during recess to take her medicine.
Girl A:	Oh, really? Sorry for keeping you.
Girl B:	Talk to you later, Akemi-san.
Due to Madoka's cheerful interruption, everyone leaves willingly.
Free from the attention, Homura feels more at ease.

Hallway

Hallway
Madoka leads the way. Glasses-Homura carefully follows behind.
Madoka:	Sorry about that. They don't mean any harm... They're just excited because we don't get many transfer students.
Homura:	No, it's okay... Thank you very much.
Madoka's warm smile helps Homura to calm down.
Madoka:	My name is Kaname Madoka. Call me Madoka.
Homura:	I...
Madoka:	It's fine, really. Do you mind if I call you Homura-chan?
Homura:	...
Having difficulty figuring out her distance with Madoka, glasses-Homura fidgets nervously.
Homura:	... People don't call me by my first name very often... It's a really weird name.
Madoka:	What? That's not true. It feels really exciting and cool.
Homura:	... I guess I don't live up to my own name.
Madoka:	You shouldn't say that! You already have such a wonderful name. You should be cool to match it!
Homura:	...
Madoka smiles innocently. Glasses-Homura can't help but cringe and hung her head.

Math Class

Math Class
Glasses-Homura stands in front of a problem on the blackboard. Completely confounded, in cold sweat. The Math teacher looks troubled.
Math Teacher:	Oh, you've been away from school, haven't you? Why don't you ask a friend to let you copy their notes?

PE

PE
Glasses-Homura sits at a corner of the field, her complexion pale, watching others competing in hurdle times vigorously.
The girls gossip noisily while peering over at Homura.
Girl C:	She got light-headed just from doing warm-ups? That's pretty bad.
Girl B:	She's been bedridden for half a year. It's no surprise.

After School - The Road Home

After School - The Road Home
Under the setting sun, glasses-Homura walks home alone dejected. Her mind is filled with self-loathing and feelings of worthlessness.
Madoka's words flashes in her mind.
Madoka:	(Voice Over) --You should be cool to match it!
Homura:	I can't do that. I'm not good at anything.
Glasses-Homura keeps her eyes solely on her feet, completely oblivious to her surroundings. Her mind loss in thought.
Homura:	All I ever do is make trouble for others and embarrass myself... Why? Will I always be like this... forever?
From inside her dejected mind, an evil voice whispers.
Witch:	(Voice Over) It'd be better if you just die right now, wouldn't it?
Homura:	(Voice Over) Maybe it would.
Witch:	(Voice Over) Yeah. You should just die right now.
Homura:	(Voice Over) I should just... die...
Glasses-Homura suddenly realizes her surroundings have changed completely.
She was on a sunlit road home, but now she has accidentally entered a Witch's Barrier.
Homura:	Wh-Where... am I?
A Witch's image rushes toward the frightened Homura from a distance.
Homura:	What? What is that?! NO!
Just before the Witch attack glasses-Homura, a shining beam of light interrupts her.
A magic circle centers on Homura. The Witch stops abruptly.
Mami:	--That was a close one.
Madoka:	It's okay now, Homura-chan!
Mami and Madoka stands before glasses-Homura to protect her.
Homura:	Yo-You're...
Kyubey appears by the feet of confused glasses-Homura.
Kyubey:	They're magical girls. They hunt witches.
Witch:	Ahhhhhh....
Promptly defeated, the Witch disappears.
The dazzling display mesmerizes Homura.
Madoka:	Our secret didn't last very long, huh? Don't tell anyone else in class, okay?

Mami Apartment

Mami Apartment
Mami, Madoka, and Kyubey are having a tea party to celebrate the successful witch hunt.
The rescued Homura is invited as well. Homura sits overwhelmed and timid. A slice of chiffon cake in front of her.
Homura:	Kaname-san... Do you always fight those things?
Mami:	Always...? Well, Mami-san's the veteran here. I actually just made my contract with Kyubey last week.
Mami:	But your performance today was a big improvement over before, Kaname-san.
Madoka smiles in embarrassment from Mami's compliment.
Still confounded, glasses-Homura asks Madoka again.
Homura:	...Isn't t dangerous? You're not scared?
Madoka:	Well, it certainly is dangerous, and we do get scared. But the more witches we defeat, the more people we can save. So it's worth it, right?
Homura:	....
Glasses-Homura stares Madoka with adoration.
Mami:	We need Kaname-san to become a full-fledged magical girl before the Walpurgisnacht gets here.

A City Ablaze

A City Ablaze
The City under the Walpurgisnacht's wrath. A fire rages.
Madoka kneels in front of Mami's body, who has fallen in battle. Madoka prays silently, her hands clasped in front of her. Glasses-Homura watches her in tears.
On the other side, the monstrous Walpurgisnacht continues to deliver destruction.
Madoka:	... I'll be going, then.
Homura:	But... But Tomoe-san just died...
Madoka:	That's why I have to go. I'm the only one left who can stop the Walpurgisnacht.
Homura:	But it's impossible! Nobody can fight that thing alone! You'll die too, Kaname-san!
Madoka:	I'm still a magical girl. I have to protect everyone.
Homura:	Please... let's just run away. There's nothing else we can do. No one would ever blame you...
Madoka has already made up her mind. She calmly says to Homura.
Madoka:	Homura-chan, I'm really glad we became friends. Even now, the fact that we made it in time to save you from that witch... is one of my proudest accomplishments. So I'm glad I became a magical girl. I don't regret it at all.
Homura:	...Kaname-san...
Madoka:	Goodbye, Homura-chan. Take care of yourself.
Madoka transforms. She dashes towards the Walpurgisnacht.
Homura:	No! Don't go, Kaname-san!

The City Abandoned

The City Abandoned
The city has been remade into concrete rubble by the Walpurgisnacht. Rain pours.
Madoka's bloody corpse lies between the rubble.
Glasses-Homura kneels in front of her body, wailing amidst the rain.
Homura:	Why... You knew you were going to die. I wish you could have lived... instead of saving someone like me...
Kyubey:	Do you truly mean those words, Akemi Homura?
Kyubey rests on top of a pile of rubble overlooking the crying glass-Homura.
Kyubey:	Would you be willing to trade your soul for that wish? If there's something you want badly enough to commit yourself to a life of battle, then... I can be of help to you.
Glass-Homura turns her tear-soaked eyes towards Kyubey.
Homura:	...If I make a contract with you, you can really grant any wish I want?
Homura:	I...
Homura removes her glasses and wipes her tears away. She has made up her mind. She stands with conviction.
Homura:	... I want to redo my first encounter with Kaname-san. But this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to become strong enough to protect her!
Immediately, an immense, paralyzing pain spreads throughout her body.
A Soul Gem floats out from within Homura's chest, shining brilliantly.
Kyubey:	--The contract has been made. You wish has prevailed over entropy. Now, release your new power!
Homura:	...
Homura grabs cautiously at the Soul Gem floating in front of her.
Then, time revert to the past.

Night - Hospital

Night - Hospital
Homura suddenly wakes up on a hospital bed.
Homura:	...Where am I?...
The hospital room she once called home. A marker circles her discharge date on a calendar.
A small file rests on the bedside table. On it reads "For transferring student... Misakihara Middle School."
Homura:	I'm... still in the hospital?
Homura sleepily rubs her eyes and notices the Soul Gem glowing in her hand. She stares in amazement.
Homura:	...It wasn't a dream...!?

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)
Once again, the day when Homura transfer in.
Saotome:	Why don't you tell the class your name?
Homura:	I'm Akemi Homura. Nice to meet you all!
Saotome is about to write Homura's name on the blackboard.
Saotome:	Akemi-san's been in hospital for some...
Glasses-Homura can wait no longer. She rushes to Madoka's seat. Smiling eagerly, she holds Madoka's hands in hers.
Homura:	Kaname-san! I became a magical girl too! So let's do our best together from now on!
Madoka:	Uh...
Madoka looks frantically around her in panic and confusion.
Saotome and the other students are simply stunned.

Riverside - Beneath an Overpass

Riverside - Beneath an Overpass
Madoka, Mami, and glasses-Homura gather by an otherwise empty riverside. They faces an old oil drum. Glasses-Homura holds a golf club nervously.
Homura:	Uh.. Here I go!
Glasses-Homura transforms as a magical girl. She stops time using the hourglass on her shield.
With time frozen, glasses-Homura swing her golf club at the oil drum with all her might. Her movements are clumsy, swinging empty several times, even falling once.
Time moves once more. Homura tries to catch her breath. The oil drum rolls in front of her.
Madoka:	What do you think, Mami-san?
Mami answers "Em," but in her mind is both surprise and confusion.
Mami:	Time magic, huh...? It's pretty amazing, but you're not using it right.
Homura:	O-Okay...
Mami:	First, no matter how many times you strike, it's useless if ineffective. Rather than a club, you need more powerful weapons.
Homura looks down at the now-twisted golf club, hangs her head in dejection.
Mami:	Also, even though no one else touched it, why is the drum in a different position?
Homura:	It's because... time-stop cancels for anything that I touched, so the oil drum moves whenever I hit it.
Mami:	This would give your opponent a chance to counterattack. You need an attack method that doesn't require contact with the enemy during time-stop.
Homura:	I... I understand...

Homura Room

Homura Room
A cozy bedroom for one. It isn't a complete mess yet.
Various tools lay out on the desk. Glasses-Homura stares attentively at her laptop. With complete focus, she diligently builds a pipe bomb. The website is Hara Hara Tokei.

Witch Barrier

Witch Barrier
Madoka, Mami, and glasses-Homura working together against a Witch.
First, Mami uses binding magic to constraint the Witch.
Madoka takes the opportunity to fire an arrow at the Witch.
Glasses-Homura stops time, then nervously places a bomb under the Witch's feet and runs.
A huge explosion after time resumes, the Witch disappears in a cry of pain.
Madoka:	Mami-san, now's our chance!
Mami:	Okay!... Akemi-san, your turn!
Homura:	R-Right!
Homura:	I did it...? I did it!
Madoka:	You did it!
Madoka:	That was amazing, Homura-chan!
Mami:	Well done.
The three magical girls cheer for their shared victory. An abandoned factory reappears as the Barrier dissipates. A Grief Seed rolls on the floor.

Episode 10 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text: This episode was about Homura's past. To prevent Madoka's death, Homura gone through countless timelines. This episode compiled together events from quite a few of them. Making this work must been difficult? Gen In regard to script length, I was only concerned with minimizing the number of timelines required. That wasn't it. Content wise, I had a really hard time deciding what parts to cut. "Ah, I'm done!" then I would think, "Isn't this too hard to make?" Yet, somehow a script like this was actually accepted! You got to be impressed by the staff over at SHAFT. Exactly how many timelines had Homura gone through? Was this set? Gen Perhaps too many to count; perhaps not very many? However, if she gone through a few thousand times, then people would think "is she an idiot?" So around this feels about right. Portions of Mami's special training were cut from Draft 0. Gen That's right. It had been a long time since the last Mami lecture. Even though I wanted to reward everyone with this scene, this was no longer Mami's story. For a training session with a golf club, Mami's training was particularly Spartan. If Homura knew that Mami can be so scary, maybe she would had avoid Mami all-together (laughs). There have been many interesting theories about Mami, like "she wasn't really trying to lead Madoka to be a magical girl, how much did she really know" and such.

References

The Following references were used to produce this translation:

• Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Beginning Story
• 小残/Yamibo.com - 《魔法少女小圆 The Beginning Story》剧本0稿·考察
• MEGUCA Fansub - Puella Magi Madoka Magica BD
• Tri4 Fansub - Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magica BD V2