The Beginning Story: Draft 0

Revisiting Draft 0

"[[Kyubey|Make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!" This was the start of everything. The script of Madoka Magica had undergone numerous revisions before finalizing. In this chapter, we highlighted sections from Draft 0 as originally delivered by the scriptwriter Gen Urobuchi, to demonstrate what was changed. We also asked Gen for the reasons for these changes.

The state of completeness of Draft 0 was simply astonishing. Nearly every character had made their debut, and all the scenes written. From Draft 0 to Final Script, it's hard to pinpoint any significant changes beyond general editing.

Everything were set in place from the start - Kaname Madoka's tenacity, Akemi Homura's drive and motivation, Miki Sayaka's fragility, Sakura Kyouko's strength, and Tomoe Mami's innocence. Gen had crafted a scenario rich in philosophy, yet delicate in his description of the dreams and anguish of magical girls. Reading Draft 0 allows us to truly appreciate the genius wordsmith that is Gen Urobuchi.

Episode 3: I'm Not Afraid of Anything Anymore

In exchange for fulfilling their wish, magical girls fight a constant battle against the Witches that curse the world. After learning these truths from Mami, Madoka and Sayaka find their resolve for becoming a magical girls shaken. What do they wish for? What shall they do after becoming magical girls? These thoughts brews on her mind as Sayaka visit her childhood friend Kyousuke, who remains bedridden in the hospital.

Amidst their worries, Madoka and Sayaka stumble upon a hatching Grief Seed right outside of the hospital. Along with the transformed Mami, they dive into the Barrier to attempt to subdue the Witch within.

In the Barrier, Madoka confesses her thoughts to Mami. Madoka wishes to become a magical girl to fight alongside Mami. Therefore, she doesn't need another wish to fulfill. Having battled in solitude for so long, Mami breaks down in tears and happily accepts her offer to form a magical girl duo.

Mami and the Witch begins battle at the depth of the barrier. No longer alone, Mami battles with a certain glee. Yet, only cruel fate awaits her...

Part A

Kyousuke Hospital Room

Kyousuke sits on a raised bed. Sayaka sits besides him on the visitor's chair. Sayaka: For you. The visiting Sayaka hands a violin CD to Kyousuke. Kyousuke's eyes widen by the surprise. Kyousuke: Wow, amazing... This is out-of-print! You can't even find this on the internet anymore! Sayaka: R-Really...? I just saw it in store on the way home, so I bought it. Other CD cases litter his bedside desk. Sayaka has bought all of them. Kyousuke: Thanks for all you've done. You're a genius when it comes to finding rare CDs. Sayaka: Haha, not really... I'm probably just lucky is all. Sayaka stammers in embarrassment. Kyousuke opens the case immediately and inserts the CD into his CD player. Kyousuke: This artist's performances really are incredible. Do you want to listen too, Sayaka? Kyousuke pops in an earbud, and hands the other to Sayaka. Sayaka: A-Are you sure...? Kyousuke: I'd really like to have you hear it from the speakers, but we're in a hospital, so... The headset is rather short, so Sayaka leans forward, closer to Kyousuke. Her embarrassment is now overwhelming. The music starts. Its beautiful melody helps to calm her racing heart. Sayaka losses herself within the beautiful melody. Memory from Sayaka's childhood. Kyousuke puts on a splendid performance in a violin concert. Sayaka watching him, mesmerized. Sayaka opens her eyes. She notices Kyousuke besides her, quietly weeping. Kyousuke clenches the bed with his feeble left hand. The surgery wound looks appalling. Unable to share his pain, Sayaka's heart sinks.

Park - Night (In Barrier)

Mami's finishing move fires. The Witch disappears with a scream of pain. Madoka and Sayaka watch on from the sideline. The Barrier dissipates. The surrounding returns back to a typical park. Mami cancels her transformation. Both bystanders breath a sigh of relieve. Sayaka: No matter how many times I seen it, you look so cool in battle, Mami-san! Mami: This isn't a magic show, you know. Don't forget that what we're doing is dangerous. Sayaka: Yes! Sayaka raises the bat she brought for protection. Kyubey runs around searching. Kyubey: Doesn't look like a Grief Seed dropped. Madoka: Eh, it didn't? Sayaka: We've been fighting nothing but duds lately. Mami: We can't ignore the familiars, though. Anyway, let's go. Mami, Sayaka, Madoka, and Kyubey walk in a row through the night park. Everything has returned to normal. Mami: So have you figured out what you want to wish for? Sayaka: What about you, Madoka? Madoka: No... Mami smiles helplessly at their trouble. Mami: Well, I guess it's hard to think of something when you're on the spot. Madoka: Mami-san, what did you wish for? Mami falls gloomy from Madoka's question. Madoka fidgets. Madoka: Oh, uh... You don't really have to tell me! Mami: No, it's fine. I don't need to hide it from you. Mami looks to a distance as memories comes back to her. Mami: In my case... Mami's memory. A major accident on a freeway. Dying, Mami is trapped beneath a wrecked car. Kyubey appears in front of Mami's extended hand. Mami: (Off Screen): -- I didn't have time to think about it. Returning to present. A park at night. The two followers is slightly shocked by Mami's memories. Mami: -- I don't really regret it. I think my current way of life is much better than having died back there. Mami: But you know, if you have the choice you should think it through. I want you to have the opportunity I didn't get. Sayaka makes up her mind and asks. Sayaka: Hey, Mami-san... does your wish have to be for yourself? Mami: Huh? Sayaka: Like hypothetically... Hypothetically, all right? Say there was someone who was worse off than me. Could I use my wish for them? Madoka: You mean... Kamijou-kun? Sayaka: D-Didn't I say hypothetically?! Gosh! Kyubey nods calmly as Sayaka panics. Kyubey: Whoever makes the contract doesn't necessarily need to be the target for the wish. It's not like it hasn't happened before, either. Mami: I can't say I like the idea, though. Mami speaks her objection in a stern voice. Mami: If you're going to grant a wish for someone else, then it's vital that you know what it is you're wishing for. --Miki-san, do you want his wish to come true, or do you want to be the person who made his wish come true? Sayaka: .... Sayaka falls silent, troubled by Mami's words. Madoka panics. Madoka: Mami-san... Mami: They might sound the same, but they're completely different. Sayaka: That's a harsh way of putting it. Mami: I'm sorry, but it has to be said now. If you went ahead without realizing that, I'm sure you'd regret it later. Sayaka: ... Sayaka thinks in silence briefly. She lets out a heavy sigh and nods. Sayaka: You're right. I was being a little too naïve. Sorry about that. Sayaka's straightforward apology calms Madoka. A smile returns to Mami. Mami: This is pretty difficult to deal with, isn't it? You shouldn't rush your decision. Kyubey: The sooner the better for me, though. Mami knocks Kyubey lightly the head. Mami: That won't do. Girls hate guys who pressure them. Mami and Sayaka share a laugh. Madoka joins in, but her heart is full of complex feelings.

Madoka Room

Bedtime, Madoka lies awake on her bed in her pajamas. Kyubey sits next to her. Madoka recalls the conversation with Sayaka and Mami in the park. She sighs. Madoka: ...It really isn't that simple, is it...? Kyubey: I'm not in a position to pressure you into it. Suggestions are against the rules too. Madoka: I guess just wishing to become a magical girl wouldn't work, huh...? Madoka stares at the costume designs on her notebook. She recalls the beauty of Mami in battle, trying to imagine herself alongside Mami. Kyubey: Madoka, do you just thirst for power? Madoka: No, that's not what I mean... Or maybe I do... I mean, I'm slow, and I'm not good at anything. So if I could be someone cool and wonderful like Mami-san, then that in itself would be enough to make me happy... Kyubey: You could become a much more powerful magical girl than Mami. Madoka: Huh? The unexpected news surprises Madoka. Kyubey: The sort of wish you make factors into it as well, but even I can't even imagine how large a Soul Gem you might produce. I've never met a girl with such potential before. Madoka: Haha... What are you saying? Come on. You're joking, right? Kyubey: No— Door knock. Tomohisa: Madoka, are you awake? Madoka: Yeah, what's wrong? Tomohisa: Mama is home... can you come help?

Kaname Home Doorstep

Junko lies wasted at the doorstep. Madoka: Again? ...Jeez. Madoka shrugs in disbelief. Junko: W-Water... Already prepared, Tomohisa hands Junko a cup of water. Tomohisa: Let's get her to bed first and change her dress. Come, you hold that side. Madoka and Tomohisa carry Junko between them to her bedroom. Junko: Eh...Damn you, baldy!....If you want to drink, drink by your damn self...! Don't make me pull that toupee off! Junko mumbles drunken words in complaint.

Parent Bedroom

Junko now rests peacefully under cover. Madoka and Tomohisa share a sigh of relief from a job well done. Tomohisa: Thank you. Should I make some hot chocolate? Madoka: Yeah, sure.

Kitchen

In pajamas and nightgowns, Madoka and Tomohisa sit across from each other, drinking hot chocolate. Madoka: Mom doesn't drink that much at home... Why does she always get so drunk outside? Thank god, she made it back safely. Tomohisa: Drinking is part of the job too. Like overtime, you can't just push it off. Madoka: Doesn't she get tired of these things... Tomohisa: Sometimes, but sometimes work feels great too. Madoka doesn't understand. She props her cheeks on her hands. Madoka: I wonder why Mom loves her job so much. Working at that company wasn't really her dream, was it? Tomohisa: Hm... it's not that she loves her job as much as she loves a challenge. Madoka: ...? Tomohisa: I'm sure there are tough and painful times for her, but the subsequent feeling of accomplishment is her greatest joy. Because of this, even the difficult work now can be worthwhile. Madoka: Mama... Is she satisfied with where she is? Tomohisa: She might not have wished to work where she does now, but she's still living her ideal way of life. Some dreams can come true like that. Madoka: So someone's dream can be their way of life? Tomohisa: I'm sure opinions differ, but I really like that about your mom. I can respect that and I take pride in it. Don't you think she's wonderful too? Madoka: Yeah. Seeing her dad's smile, Madoka relaxes as well.

School - Night

Mami stands nonchalant in the middle of a courtyard. Homura emerges from the darkness in front of her. The two faces each other at a distance. Mami: Why do you call me out at this hour? Homura: Kaname Madoka and Miki Sayaka... How long do you plan to drag those two along for? Homura speaks provocatively, a face of apathy. Homura: You know you're putting innocent civilians in danger, don't you? Mami: They've been chosen by Kyubey. They're no longer innocent civilians. Homura: Chosen but not yet contracted, you should not be interfering with their decision. You're leading them toward becoming magical girls. Mami: And I take it you don't like that. Homura: That's right. It's a nuisance... Especially in the case of Kaname Madoka. Mami has figured out Homura's intentions (actually a misunderstanding) and narrows her eyes. Mami: I see. So you've noticed her potential as well. Homura suddenly turns serious. Homura: I cannot, under any circumstances, allow her to make a contract. Mami: Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know. Enraged, Homura closes her eyes briefly to calm herself down. Homura: ... One magic girl is sufficient for this city. Two are too many already. Mami: I disagree, but that makes a lot of sense. Homura: You are not fit for battle. Why not hold back a bit. Mami: Speak for yourself. I have been protecting this city, and I'll protect this city! A tense atmosphere between the two, ready to explode into violence. Mami: ...I can see that we'll not be getting along Homura: I have no reason to fight you, but... Mami: In that case, make sure we never meet again. Mami can see that Homura does not intent to make a move. Mami turns around. Mami: I'm sure tonight's the last time we'll resolve this peacefully. Mami leaves after saying her line. Homura stands motionless. Deep in thought, Homura bites her lips. Homura: ...

Episode 3 - Draft 0 Investigation

-- After reading the full script, you can tell composition of this part changed a lot. Gen Episode 3 was tightly packed, so the Kyousuke Hospital Room sequence was moved to Episode 4.

-- Fighting Familiars were not initially in Draft 0. Was this setting added later on. Gen That's correct. Having a Grief Seed drop for every fight is bad for story development. Also, if all Witches come from magical girls, the numbers don't add up. As a result, I add natural population growth by replication for the Witches into the setting. By that time, Witch designs had been finalized.

-- "Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know." In this famous scene, Mami-san unintentionally touched upon a soft spot in Homura's past. This sequence also seen some adjustments, and the location changed from the school to a road by the park. Gen Mami may had did it unintentionally, but to Homura it was very malicious (laughs).

-- Then, a problem with the scene where Mami was eaten by the Witch. The rumor within the fanbase was "This was Gen's writing! He made it this gruesome!" Gen I have heard of such rumors, but they're patently untrue! I wrote with every intent for avoiding excessive cruelty, because I don't want to see Aoki sensei's characters suffer either. I simply wished to avoid any ambiguity, to invoke "such a pity this character has died and would not come back" type of message. For example, if she was stabbed through the chest instead, maybe she may still live and can be revived later on. I wanted to avoid leaving such possibility. I also want people to understand that Mami did not lose due to her skill, but simply have faced her counter.

-- "Mami crumples into a heap, like a puppet without strings. (Actually, her head is gone, but it's not shown due to the camera angle)... Free again, the Witch's enormous body smothers her corpse, hiding it from view. Bone-crushing sound coming from that direction." Gen What I mean is, even though I wrote it, I didn't want to see it either.