The Beginning Story: Draft 0

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Translator's note: The following is a translated chapter of Puella Magi Madoka Magica The Beginning Story. It has been marked-up as following:

  • Underlined dialogues have been modified or cut during production.
  • (Italicized and bracketed dialogues) are added while recording.
  • Bold dialogues are unspoken thoughts and/or telepathy.

Revisiting Draft 0

Toggle original text:
Revisiting Draft 0
"Make a contract with me, and become a magical girl!"

Everything started from here. The script for Madoka Magica went through many changes before the final version. In this chapter, we reproduced portions of the initial Draft 0 as written by Gen Urobuchi to highlight what has changed. We also asked Gen for why these changes were made.

The state of completeness of the Draft 0 script is simply astonishing. Nearly all characters have made their debut and all the scenes already written. From Draft 0 to Final Script, it's hard to find any significant changes besides general editing.

Everything is there from the beginning - Kaname Madoka's tenacity, Akemi Homura's heart and motive, Miki Sayaka's gentleness, Sakura Kyouko's toughness, and Tomoe Mami's naivety. Gen managed to craft a story rich in philosophical implications, yet realistic in its portrayal of magical girls' dreams and anguish. Reading Draft 0 allows us to truly appreciate the genius wordsmith that is Gen Urobuchi.

"I remember that. And I will never forget it. That is why... I will keep on fighting."




Episode 3: I'm Not Afraid of Anything Anymore

Toggle original text:
In exchange a wish, magical girls are destined to a life of battle against the Witches that curse this world. After learning these truths from Mami, Madoka and Sayaka find their resolve to become magical girls shaken. What should they wish for? What will they do as magical girls? These worries fester on her mind as Sayaka visit her childhood friend Kyousuke, who remains hospitalized from the accident.

Amidst their worries, Madoka and Sayaka stumble upon a Grief Seed right outside of the hospital, ready to hatch. Along with Mami, transformed, they explore the Barrier to try to subdue the Witch hidden within.

Within the Barrier, Madoka tells her wish to Mami. Madoka wants to be a magical girl to fight alongside Mami. Therefore, she doesn't have anything else to wish for. Having battled by her lonesome for so long, these words cause Mami to break down in tears. Mami accepts to form a Magical Girl Combo.

Mami and the Witch begin battle at the depth of the barrier. No longer alone, Mami battles with a certain glee. Yet, only cruel fate awaits her...





Part A

See also: Episode 3A Final Draft

Kyousuke Hospital Room

Kyousuke Hospital Room 恭介の病室
Kyousuke sits on a raised bed. Sayaka sits beside him on a chair for the caretaker. ベッドをリクライニングさせて座っている恭介と、介添用の椅子に腰掛けているさやか。
Sayaka: For you. さやか「はい、これ」
The visiting Sayaka hands a violin CD to Kyousuke. Kyousuke's eyes widen in surprise. 見舞いに来たさやかから、ヴァイオリンのCDを手渡される恭介。驚きに目を見開く。
Kyousuke: Wow, amazing... This one is out-of-print! You can't even find this online anymore! 恭介「うわ、凄い...これネットでも手に入らない廃盤だよ!」
Sayaka:: R-Really...? I saw it at the store on the way home, so I bought it. さやか「そ、そうなんだ...たまたま寄ったお店で見かけたんで、買ってみたんだけど」
CDs pile on his bedside desk. Sayaka has brought all of them. ベッドサイドのテーブルには、他にもCDのケースが積み上げられている。すべてさやかが買ってきたものである。
Kyousuke: Thanks for all you've done. You're a genius when it comes to finding rare CDs. 恭介「いつも、本当にありがとう。さやかはレアなCDを見つける天才だね」
Sayaka: Haha, not really... I'm probably just lucky is all. さやか「はは、そんな...う、運がいいだけだよ。きっと」
Sayaka stammers in embarrassment. 照れてはにかむさやか。
Immediately, Kyousuke opens the case and inserts the CD into his CD player. 恭介はさっそくケースを開けて、CDをポータブルプレーヤーにセットする。
Kyousuke: This artist's performances really are incredible. Do you want to listen too, Sayaka? 恭介「この人の演奏は、本当に凄いんだ。さやかも聴いてみる?」
Kyousuke puts in an earbud and hands the other to Sayaka. ヘッドホンの片方だけを嵌めて、もう一方をさやかに差し出す恭介。
Sayaka: A-Are you sure...? さやか「ぃ、いいのかな...」
Kyousuke: I'd really like to have you hear it from the speakers, but we're in a hospital, so... 恭介「本当はスピーカーで聴かせたいんだけど、病院だしね」
Sayaka leans closer to reach the short headset. Even closer now, her embarrassment is overwhelming. コードの長さの都合で、やや身を寄せ合う姿勢になるこ人。内心で照れまくるさやか。
The music starts. Its gentle melody helps to calm her racing heart. だが曲が始まると、優しい旋律に心が和まされる。
Sayaka indulges in the gentle melody. 優しい旋律に浸るさやか。
x x x × × ×
Memory from Sayaka's childhood. さやか幼少期の記憶。
Kyousuke looks dashing at his violin recital. Sayaka watches him, completely mesmerized. ヴァイオリンの発表会で颯爽と演奏をしている恭介と、その姿に目を奪われているさやか。
x x x × × ×
Sayaka opens her eyes. She sees Kyousuke quietly weeping besides her. ふと目を開けるさやか。隣で恭介が静かに泣いているのに気付く。
Kyousuke's left arm grips lifelessly at his bed. The surgery scars look appalling. ベッドの上でカなく投げ出された恭介の左腕。無惨な手術跡。
His fingers tremble in memory, never to play again. もう二度と演奏のできなくなった指が、演奏の記憶を迪って震えている。
These dreadful thoughts make Sayaka's chest hurt. やるせない想いに、胸が痛くなるきゃか。

Park - Night (Barrier)

Night - Park (Barrier) 夜の公園(異界化中)
Mami's finishing move fires. 炸裂するマミの必殺技。
The witch disappears in a scream of pain. 悲鳴を上げて消滅していく魔女。
Madoka and Sayaka watch on from the sideline with bated breath. それを固唾を呑んで見守るまどかとさやか。
The barrier dissipates and the surrounding returns to normal - a park. Mami untransforms. Both bystanders breath in relief. 結界は解かれ、周囲はもとの公園の景色に戻る。マミも変身を解除。ほっと安堵するギャラリー二人。
Sayaka: No matter how many times I have seen it, you look so cool when you fight witches, Mami-san! さやか「やっぱマミさんの魔女退治は何度見てもカツコいいね~」
Mami: This isn't a magic show, you know. Don't forget that what we're doing is dangerous. マミ「もう。見せ物じゃないのよ。危ないことしてる、って意識は忘れないでおいてほしいわ」
Sayaka: Yes! さやか「いえーす」
Sayaka raises the bat she brought for self-defense. 手にした護身用パットを掲げ上げるさやか。
Kyubey returns from his search. そこへ、周囲を探していたキユゥベえが戻ってくる。
Kyubey: I don't sense any grief seeds. キユウべえ「グリーフシードは持つてなかったみたいだ。空振りだね」
Madoka: Eh, again? まどか「ぇ、また?」
Sayaka: What is wrong with this one? さやか「なんかここんとこハズレばっかりじゃない?」
Mami: We can't ignore these witches, though. Anyway, let's go. マミ「そういうものよ。だからって魔女を放っておくわけにもいかないし。ーーさ、行きましょ」
x x x × × ×
The park returns to the silence of the night. Mami, Sayaka, Madoka walk alongside Kyubey. 静寂を取り戻した夜の公園を、並んで歩くマミ、さやか、まどかとキユゥベえ。
Mami: So have you figured out what you want to wish for? マミ「二人とも、何か願い事は見つかった?」
Sayaka: What about you, Madoka? さやか「う~ん、まどかは?」
Madoka: No... まどか「う~ん...」
Mami smiles wryly at her troubled pupils. 困り果てる二人に、苦笑するマミ。
Mami: Well, I guess it's hard to think of something when you're on the spot. マミ「まあ、そういうものよね。いざ考えろって言われたら」
Madoka: Mami-san, what did you wish for? まどか「マミさんは、どんな願い事をしたんですか?」
As soon as Madoka asked, Mami turns gloomy. Madoka panics slightly. まどかが訊いた途端、マミの表情が陰る。やや慌てるまどか。
Madoka: Oh, uh... You don't really have to tell me! まどか「いや、あの、どうしても聞きたいってわけじゃなくて、ちょっと気になった、っていうか、その...」
Mami: No, it's fine. I don't need to hide it from you. マミ「ううん、いいの。別に隠すほどのことでもないし」
Mami looks to a distance as she remembers. 遠い眼差しで追憶するマミ。
x x x × × ×
Mami: In my case... マミ「私の場合はーー」
Mami's memory. A major accident on a freeway. マミの回想。高速道路での大規模な事故。
Dying, Mami is trapped beneath a car wreckage. Kyubey appears before Mami's extended hand. 潰れた車に閉じ込められて瀕死のマミが、手を差し伸べたその先に、キュウベえの姿がある。
Mami: (Off Screen) ...I didn't have time to think about it. マミoff「ーー考えている余裕さえ、なかったってだけ」
x x x × × ×
Back to present. The park at night. Her two followers are slightly shocked by Mami's past. 再び現代。夜の公園。マミが語った過去に、ややショックを受けている二人。
Mami: ...I don't really regret it. I think my current way of life is much better than having died back there. マミ「ーー後悔してるわけじゃないのよ。今の生き方も、あそこで死んじゃうよりは余程良かったと思ってる」
Mami: But you know, if you have the choice you should think it through. I want you to have the opportunity I didn't get. マミ「でもね、ちゃんと選択の余地がある子には、きちんと考えた上で決めてほしいの。私にできなかったことだからこそ、ね」
Sayaka has made up her mind. She asks. 意を決して、質問をぶつける気になるきゃか。
Sayaka: Hey, Mami-san... does your wish have to be for yourself? さやか「ねえ、マミさん...願い事って、自分のための事柄でなきゃ駄目なのかな?」
Mami: Huh? マミ「え?」
Sayaka: Like hypothetically... Hypothetically, all right? Say there was someone who was worse off than me. Could I use my wish for them...? さやか「たとえばーーたとえばの話なんだけどさ。あたしなんかより、よほど困ってる人がいて、その人のために願い事をするのはーー」
Madoka: You mean... Kamijo-kun? まどか「それって...上条くんのこと?」
Sayaka: D-didn't I say hypothetically?! Gosh! さやか「た、例え話だって言ってるじゃんか!」
Kyubey nods calmly as Sayaka panics. 慌てるさやかを余所に、冷静に頷くキユウベえ。
Kyubey: Whoever makes the contract doesn't necessarily need to be the target for the wish. It's not like it hasn't happened before, either. キュゥベえ「べつに契約者自身が願い事の対象になる必然性はないんだけどね。前例もないわけじゃないし」
Mami: I can't say I like the idea, though. マミ「...でも、あまり感心できた話じゃないわ」
Mami raises her voice in objection. やや険しい声で異論を挿むマミ。
Mami: If you're going to grant a wish for someone else, then it's vital that you know what it is you're wishing for. --Miki-san, do you want his wish to come true, or do you want to be the person who made his wish come true? マミ「他の人の願いを叶えるのなら、なおのこと自分の望みをはっきりさせておかないと。ーー美樹さん、あなたは彼に夢を叶えてほしいの? それとも彼の夢を叶えた恩人になりたいの?」
Sayaka: .... さやか「...」
Madoka panics in reaction to Mami's stern words and Sayaka's silent disappointment. マミの言い様に、さすがに憮然と押し黙るさやか。狼狽えるまどか。
Madoka: Mami-san... まどか「マミさんーー」
Mami: They might sound the same, but they're completely different. マミ「同じようでも全然違うことよ。これ」
Sayaka: ...That's a harsh way of putting it. さやか「...その言い方は、ちょっと酷いと思う」
Mami: I'm sorry, but it has to be said now. If you went ahead without realizing that, I'm sure you'd regret it later. マミ「ごめんね。でも今のうちに言っておかないと。そこを履き違えたまま先に進んだら、あなた、きっと後悔するから」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Sayaka ponders in silence. After a moment, she takes a deep breath and nods. さやか、しばし押し黙って考え込んでから、深呼吸し、頷く。
Sayaka: You're right. I was being a little too naïve. Sorry about that. さやか「...そうだね。あたしの考えが甘かった。ごめん」
Madoka is relieved by the honest apology. Mami also returns a smile. さっぱりと謝罪するさやかに、安堵するまどか。マミも笑顔を返す。
Mami: This is pretty difficult to deal with, isn't it? You shouldn't rush your decision. マミ「やっぱり、難しい事柄よね。焦って決めるべきじゃないわ」
Kyubey: The sooner the better for me, though. キユゥベえ「僕としては、早ければ早いほどいいんだけど」
Mami knocks Kyubey lightly on the head in complaint. ぼやくキユウベえの頭を小突くマミ。
Mami: That won't do. Girls hate guys who pressure them. マミ「駄目ょ。女の子を急かす男は嫌われるぞ」
Mami and Sayaka laugh. Madoka joins them, but her heart is full of complicated feelings. 笑うマミとさやか。まどかも釣られて笑うものの、その胸の内はやや複雑。

Madoka Room

Madoka Room まどかの部屋
Bedtime. In pajamas, Madoka lies on her bed wide awake. Kyubey rests beside her. 就寝間際、パジャマに着替えてベッドの上でごろごろしているまどか。傍らにはキュゥベえ。
Madoka recalls her conversation with Sayaka and Mami in the park. She sighs. 公園でのさやかとマミの問答を思い出し、溜息をつくまどか。
Madoka: ...It really isn't that simple, is it...? まどか「...やっぱり、簡単なことじゃないんだよね...」
Kyubey: I'm not in a position to pressure you into it. Suggestions are against the rules too. キユウベえ「僕の立場で急かすわけにはいかないしね。助言するのもルール違反だし」
Madoka: I guess just wishing to become a magical girl wouldn't work, huh...? まどか「ただ、なりたいってだけじゃ、駄目なのかな...」
Madoka stares at all the costume ideas in her notebook. Remembering how spectacular Mami looks in battle, she tries to imagine herself fighting beside Mami. ノートの落書きの変身プランを眺めるまどか。華麗に戦うマミを思い出し、その姿に自分を重ねて妄想する。
Kyubey: Madoka, do you just thirst for power? キユウベえ「まどかは力そのものに憧れているのかい?」
Madoka: No, that's not what I mean... Or maybe I do... I mean, I'm slow, and I'm not good at anything. So if I could be someone cool and wonderful like Mami-san, then that in itself would be enough to make me happy... まどか「ゃ、そんなんじゃなくて...う~ん、そうなのかな? 私ってどんくさいし、何の取り柄もないし、だからマミさんみたいに絡好良くて素敵な人になれたら、それだけでもう充分に幸せなんだけど...」
Kyubey: You could become a much more powerful magical girl than Mami. キユウベえ「まどかが魔法少女になれば、マミよりずっと強くなれるよ」
Madoka: Huh? まどか「へ?」
Madoka is baffled by those unexpected words. 思わぬ言葉に、狐につままれたかのようなまどか。
Kyubey: The sort of wish you make factors into it as well, but even I can't even imagine how large a Soul Gem you might produce. I've never met a girl with such potential before. キユウベえ「もちろん、どんな願い事で契約をするかにもよるけれど...まどかが生み出すかもしれないソウルジエムの大きさは、僕にも測定しきれない。これだけの素質を持つ子と出会ったのは初めてだ」
Madoka: Haha... What are you saying? Come on. You're joking, right? まどか「はは...何言ってるのよ、もう。嘘でしょ」
Kyubey: No— キユウベえ「いやーー」
Door knock. そこに扉をノックする音。
Tomohisa: Madoka, are you awake? 知久「まどか、起きてるか?」
Madoka: Yeah, what's wrong? まどか「うん?どしたの?」
Tomohisa: Mama is home... can you help me a bit? 知久「ママが帰ってきたんだが...ちょっと手伝ってくれないかな」

Kaname Home - Entrance

Kaname Home - Entrance 鹿自家玄関
Junko lies wasted at the doorstep. 上がり框で、泥酔した詢子が潰れている。
Madoka: Again? ...Jeez. まどか「あー、またか...まったくもう」
Madoka shrugs in disbelief. やや呆れ気味に苦笑いするまどか。
Junko: W-Water... 詢子「み、水...」
Already prepared, Tomohisa hands a cup of water to Junko. 既に用意してあったコップの水を詢子に飲ませる知久。
Tomohisa: We need to get her to bed and changed. Hey, you hold that side. 知久「ともかくベッドまで運んで、着替えさせないと。ほら、そっち持ってくれ」
Madoka and Tomohisa carry Junko between them to her bedroom. まどかと知久、二人がかりで詢子を肩に担いで、寝室まで引っ張っていく。
Junko: Eh...Damn you, baldy!....If you want to drink, drink by your damn self...! (Don't make me pull that toupee off!) 詢子「ぐえええ...このスダレハゲ...呑みたきや手酌でやってろつつうの...」
Junko rambles on drunkenly. 譫言のように愚痴を漏らす詢子。

Parent Bedroom

Parent Bedroom ダイニングキッチン
Junko sleeps peacefully under cover. 布団にくるまり、安らかな寝息を立てている詢子。
Task complete, Madoka and Tomohisa share a sigh of relief. 一仕事終えた知久とまどか、ほっと一息。
Tomohisa: Should I make some hot cocoa? 知久「ココアでも入れようか?」
Madoka: Yeah, sure. まどか「うん、お願い」

Dining Kitchen

Dining Kitchen ダイニングキッチン
In pajamas and nightgowns, Madoka and Tomohisa sit at the table face to face, sipping hot cocoa. 寝間着姿にガウンを羽織り、テーブルで差し向かいに座ってホットココアを啜る二人。
Madoka: She doesn't drink that much at home... Why does she always get so drunk outside? Thank god, she made it back safely. まどか「うちで飲むときはちゃんと加減するのに...なんで外だとあんなに酔っぱらっちゃうかなあ。平気なうちに帰ってくればいいのに」
Tomohisa: Drinking is part of the job too. Like overtime, you can't just push it off. 知久「会社勤めだと、飲むのも仕事のうちうて場合があるからね。残業だと思えば抜け出せないさ」
Madoka: Doesn't she get tired of these things... まどか「嫌にならないのかな、そういうの...」
Tomohisa: Sometimes, but sometimes work can be great too. 知久「嫌になることもあるだろうね。でもそれよりもっと頻繁に、働いてて良かったと思うことの方が多いのさ」
Unconvinced, Madoka props her chin on her hands. いまいち納得できず、頬杖をつくまどか。
Madoka: I wonder why Mom loves her job so much. Working at that company wasn't really her dream, was it? まどか「なんでママは、あんなに仕事が好きなのかな。昔からこの仕事に就くのが夢だったーーなんて、ないよね?」
Tomohisa: Hm... it's not that she loves her job as much as she loves a challenge. 知久「ママは仕事が好きなんじゃなくて、頑張るのが好きなのさ」
Madoka: ...? まどか「...?」
Tomohisa: I'm sure there are tough and painful times for her, but the subsequent feeling of accomplishment is her greatest joy. Because of this, even the difficult work now can become worthwhile. 知久「嫌なことも辛いこともいっぱいあるだろうけど、それを乗リ越えたときの満足感が、ママにとっては最高の宝物なのさ。そういう意味で、今の難しくて大変な仕事は、とてもやり甲斐があるんだろうね」
Madoka: I wonder if she's happy...? まどか「ママは...満足なのかな、それで」
Tomohisa: She might not have wished to work where she does now, but she's still living her ideal way of life. Some dreams can come true like that. 知久「そりゃ、会社勤めが夢だったわけじゃないだろうけどさ。それでもママは、理想と思っていた生き方を通してる。そんな風にして叶える夢もあるんだよ」
Madoka: So someone's dream can be their way of life? まどか「...生き方そのものを、夢にするの?」
Tomohisa: I'm sure opinions differ, but I really like that about your mom. I can respect that and I take pride in it. (Don't you think she's amazing too?) 知久「どう思うかは人それぞれだろうけどーー僕はね、ママのそういうところが大好きだ。尊敬できるし、自慢できる。素晴らしい人だってね」
Madoka:: Yeah. まどか「...うん」
Madoka's expression softens from her father's soothing smile. 父の笑顔に、表情を和ませるまどか。

Night - School

Night - School 夜の学校
Mami stands aimlessly in middle of the school grounds. 校庭の真ん中に漫然と作んでいるマミ。
Homura emerges from the darkness before her. They keep at a distance. その前に、闇の奥からほむらが現れる。間合いを挿んで対峙するこ人。
Mami: What do you want at this hour? マミ「わざわざこんな時間に呼び出して、何の用?」
Homura: Kaname Madoka and Miki Sayaka... How long do you plan to drag them along for? ほむら「鹿目まどかと美樹さやか...あの二人をいつまで連れ回す気?」
Homura speaks belligerently, her face expressionless. はなから冷ややかな面持ちで喧嘩腰のほむら。
Homura: You know you're putting innocent civilians in danger, don't you? ほむら「分かっているの?あなたは無関係な一般人を危険に巻き込んでいる」
Mami: They've been chosen by Kyubey. They're no longer innocent civilians. マミ「彼女たちはキユゥベえに選ばれたのよ。もう無関係じゃないわ」
Homura: Chosen but not yet contracted, you should not be interfering with their decision. ——You're leading them toward becoming magical girls. ほむら「選ばれただけで契約は済ませていない。その先の選択に、あなたが干渉するべきじゃない。ーーなのに、あなたは二人を魔法少女に誘導している」
Mami: And I take it you don't like that. マミ「それが面白くないわけ?」
Homura: That's right. It's a nuisance... Especially in the case of Kaname Madoka. ほむら「ええ。迷惑よ。...特に鹿目まどか」
Mami sneers as Homura's motive (a misunderstanding) dawns on her. マミ、ほむらの真意を見透かした(と勘違いして)日を細める。
Mami: I see... So you've noticed her potential as well. マミ「ふうん...そう、あなたも気付いてたのね、あの子の素質に」
Homura looks serious. ほむらの眼差しがさらに険しくなる。
Homura: I cannot, under any circumstances, allow her to make a contract. ほむら「彼女だけは、契約させるわけにはいかない」
Mami: Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know. マミ「自分より強い相手は邪魔者ってわけ?いじめられつ子の発想ね」
Outraged, Homura closes her eyes briefly to regain her composure. 内心でかっとなるほむらだが、一旦目を閉じて気持ちを静める。
Homura: ... One magic girl was enough for this city. Two are too many already. ほむら「...ひとつの街に、魔法少女は一人で充分よ。今ここに二人いるだけでも多すぎる」
Mami: I disagree with your wording, but that makes a lot of sense. マミ「同意しかねる言葉だけれど、あなたの前だと頷きたくなるわ」
Homura: You are not ready for battle. Why not back off. ほむら「あなたは戦いに向いてない。身を退くべきよ」
Mami: Speak for yourself. I have been protecting this city, and I'll protect this city! マミ「勝手なこと言わないで。今日までこの街を守ってきたのは私ょ。そして、これからも」
The tension between them can explode into violence at any moment. 両者の間に緊張が走る。一触即発の危機。
Mami: ...I see that we'll not be getting along. マミ「...はっきりしたみたいね。お互い、どうあっても相容れそうにない」
Homura: I have no reason to fight you, but... ほむら「あなたとは戦いたくないのだけれど」
Mami: In that case, make sure we never meet again. マミ「なら二度と会うことがないよう努力して」
Certain that Homura isn't looking for a fight, Mami turns around. ほむらの側にこの場で仕掛けてくる意図がないと判断したマミは、踵を返す。
Mami: I'm sure tonight's the last time we'll resolve this peacefully. マミ「話し合いだけで事が済むのは、きっと今夜で最後だろうから」
With that line, Mami makes her leave. Homura stands, motionless. She bites her teeth in frustration. 捨て台詞を残して去っていくマミ。ほむらは事態が思うように進まないことに苛立ち、歯噛みする。
Homura: ... ほむら「...」

Episode 3 - Draft 0 Investigation

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After reading the entire scenario, you can tell composition of this part changed significantly.
Gen Episode 3 was too packed, so I moved the Kyousuke Hospital Room sequence to Episode 4.
Familiars were not part of the universe yet in Draft 0. Were they added later?
Gen That's right. A grief seed drop for every fight is bad for story development. Additionally, if all witches came from magical girls, the numbers just don't add up. As a result, I added replication to provide natural growth for the witches as part of the setting. By that time, witch designs had already been finalized, actually.
"Is it because you're afraid that anyone stronger will get in your way? That's the way a bullied child thinks, you know." In this famous scene, Mami-san unintentionally touched on a soft spot in Homura's past. This sequence also had some adjustments, even the location was changed from the school to a park.
Gen Mami may had done it unintentionally, but to Homura it was very malicious (laughs).
Regarding the scene of Mami's death, the rumor within the fanbase was "This was Gen's work! He made it this gruesome!"
Gen I have heard of such rumors, but they're patently untrue! I wrote with every intent for avoiding excessive cruelty, because I didn't want to see Aoki-san's characters suffer either. I simply wished to avoid leaving ambiguity, to enforce "such a pity this character has died and would not come back" type of message. Imagine for example, if she was stabbed through the chest instead. Maybe she had survived and can be revived later on? I wanted to avoid leaving such possibility. I also want people to understand that Mami did not lose due to her skill, but simply have faced her counter.
"Mami crumples into a heap, like a puppet without strings. (Actually, her head is gone, but it's not shown due to the camera angle)... Free again, the witch's enormous body smothers her corpse, now hidden from view. Bone-crushing sound can be heard from that direction."
Gen What I mean is, even though I wrote it, I didn't want to see it either.
Isn't it ironic to have the witch that ate Mami-san be so cute?
Gen Ya. Such a cute looking thing can turn so terrifying in an instant. Inu Curry's sense of irony is truly incredible.
ーー「自分より強い相手は邪魔者ってわけ? いじめられつ子の発想ね」と、マミさんがほむらに向かって無意識に心底痛いところを突く名言を吐くシーンも。稿から整理されていますね。場所も学校から道、公園と変化していて。

Episode 6: This Just Isn't Right

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Conflict between magical girls has begun, a bitter battle for ideology and territory... Kyoko and Sayaka are locked in brutal struggle. But with interference from Homura, the battle temporarily abates. Both combatants retreat, simmering in anger.

Madoka tries to stop Sayaka from continue her work as a magical girl while wounded, but Sayaka refuses to listen.

Homura reveals to Kyoko the Walpurgisnacht's arrival in two-weeks time. They agree to joint forces to fight the strongest, most terrible Witch together. Meanwhile, Madoka asks her mom for advice regarding Sayaka's situation. Junko gently supports Madoka.

That night, Sayaka watches the cured Kyosuke with renewed happiness. Kyoko reappears, provoking Sayaka in her moment of happiness. Another stand off. Madoka rushes besides Sayaka. Unexpectedly, she snatches Sayaka's soul gem away.

That's how... Madoka learns the truth about magical girls.




その晩、さやかは恭介の病気の完治を見て、幸せを静かに感じていた。再びび現れた杏子はそんなさやかを挑発する。再び対峙する2人。まどかはさやかのもとへ駆け寄ると、魔法少女の魂であるソウルジエムを奪い取る。 そのとき...まどかは魔法少女の真実を知るのだった。

Part B

See Also: Episode 6B Final Draft

School Rooftop

School Rooftop 学校屋上
Following day lunch break. Sayaka and Homura faces each other, alone. 翌日の昼休み。二人きりで対峙するさやかとほむら。
Sayaka: So what do you want? さやか「何だよ、話つてのは」
Homura: Avoid any unnecessary action for the next two weeks. ほむら「2週間だけ、行動を控えて」
Sayaka: Why? さやか「何でだよ?」
Homura: I don't want any confrontation between you and Kyouko. ほむら「佐倉杏子と衝突してほしくない」
Sayaka snorts in disgust. 小馬鹿にしたように鼻を鳴らすさやか。
Sayaka: Heh, so you teamed up with her. As expected... さやか「ふうん、あいつと手を組んだんだ。やっぱりね...」
Homura's poker face remains unchanged. 一方で、ほむらはあくまでポーカーフェイスを崩さない。
Homura: Her strength is necessary for an upcoming situation. Until then, I'll like to have the initiative in witch hunts. ほむら「近い将来、どうしても彼女の力が必要な展開になる。それまでは魔女狩リの主導権を譲ってほしいの」
Sayaka: So you can harvest grief seeds without my interference? さやか「その間、あんたたちは誰にも邪魔されず、グリーンードを集め放題ってわけね」
Sayaka sneers, visibly angry. 冷笑を返してから、怒りを露わにするさやか。
Sayaka: If I am an eyesore, just come at me, both of you at once. I won't try to run or hide. I'll face you head on. さやか「あたしが目障りだってんなら、二人がかりでかかってくりゃいいでしょ。逃げも隠れもしないわ。受けて立つわよ」
Homura: Miki Sayaka. Confronting you will only hurt Madoka. ほむら「美樹さやか、あなたとの対立は、鹿目まどかを刺激してしま、ヮ」
Sayaka: Ah, yes... You don't want any more rivals. さやか「ああそう...そういえば、ライバルは増ヤしたくないんだったつけ」
Homura realizes Sayaka will not budge. A tinge of sadness in her voice. どう転んだところでさやかの態度は軟化しないと悟り、ほむらの口調はやや悲しげに。
Homura: ...Please, think rationally. If you persist, the one that's hurt the most will be Kaname-san. ほむら「...もう少し冷静に考えて。あなたが意地を張れば張るほど、傷つくのは鹿目さんなのよ」
Sayaka: This has nothing to do with Madoka! さやか「まどかは関係ないでしょ!」
This only aggravates Sayaka even further. 反而、ますます激高するさやか。
Sayaka: I am just a idiot to be fooled for people like you... But even I can tell from your actions, that you think of nobody but yourself. Everyone are just tools to be used in your eyes, isn't it? さやか「あたしってパカだからさ。あんたみたいに口が上手いヤツには、もう何度も騙されたことがあるの。...でもね、あんたのやり口を見てれば分かる。あんたは自分の都合だけしか考えてないヤツだ。周りの人間は全部、そのための道具としか思つてない。違う?」
Homura: ...This is for your own good. ほむら「...何もかも、あなたのためを思って忠告してるのよ」
Sayaka: You always act like this, looking down at everyone. さやか「いつまでもそんな風に、他人を見下していられると思うな」
Realizing this conversation isn't going anywhere, Sayaka stares at Homura with cold hostility. これ以上の問答は不要とばかり、敵意を込めてほむらを睨むさやか。
Sayaka: Even if I don't have a chance, I won't let you get away with this... I'll protect this city. さやか「どんなに勝ち日が薄くても、あんたたちの思い通りにだけはさせない...この街は、あたしが護るんだ」
With her back turned, Sayaka leaves the rooftop. ほむらに背を向け、屋上を去るさやか。
Left behind, Homura stares at a distance, a face of sadness. 残されたほむらは、憂い顔で遠い眼差しをする。

Madoka Room

Madoka Room まどかの寝室
Light's on. Madoka lies on her bed, staring at her ceiling, unable to sleep. 明かりを消し、ベッドに入ったまま、まんじりともせず天井を見つめているまどか。
Sound of the front door opening from below. Working overtime on the weekend again, Junko finally returns after leaving before noon. Shower sound. After some hesitation, Madoka leaves her bed. 階下で、玄関のドアの開閉音。休日出勤のうえ午前様の詢子が、ようやく帰宅したらしい。続いてシャワーを使う物音。しばし悩んでから、ベッドを抜け出すまどか。

Kaname Home - Dining Kitchen

Kaname Home - Dining Kitchen 鹿自家ダイニングキッチン
A note left on the kitchen table -- "Must be tired. Potato salad's in the fridge." テーブルには知久の書き置きーー『お疲れ様。冷蔵庫にポテトサラダあります』
Junko in a bathrobe, holding the potato salad on one hand, eats her meal alone. Madoka comes in, wearing an nightgown on top of her pajamas. パスロープ姿の詢子、ポテトサラダを肴に、一人で水割りで晩酌中。そこへ寝間着の上からガウンを羽織ったまどかがやって来る。
Junko: Can't sleep? 詢子「眠れないのかい?」
Maodka: No... Can we talk? まどか「うん...ちょっといい?」
Junko nods. Madoka fetches her cup and juice from the kitchen. 頷く詢子。まどかはキッチンから自分のグラスとジュースを取ってくる。
Junko takes some ice cubes from the freezer and pours a cup of juice for Madoka. They raise a toast as usual. まどかが注いだジュースに一詢子がアイスペールから氷を入れてやり、乾杯する母娘。お互いに慣れている。
Madoka takes a sip of her cup and begins to talk. 一口ジュースに口をつけてから、語り出すまどか。
Madoka: A friend of mine is in a tough situation... What she's doing and saying probably isn't wrong... But the more she tries to do what's right, the worse it gets... まどか「友達がね...大変なの。やってることも、言ってることも、たぶん間違ってなくて...なのに、正しいことを頑張ろうとすればするほど、どんどん酷いことになってくの...」
Junko: That happens a lot. 詢子「よくあることさ」
Says Junko without hesitation. さらりと応じる詢子。
Junko: It sucks, but you can't expect a happy ending just by doing what's right all the time. Actually, the more people get stubborn and insist that they're in the right, the farther away happiness gets... 詢子「悔しいけどね、正しいことだけ積み上げていけばハツピーエンドが手に入るってわけじゃない。むしろ皆が皆、自分の正しさを信じ込んで意固地になればなるほどに、幸せって遠ざかってくもんだよ」
Madoka: It's not fair if you can't be happy even though you're not doing the wrong things. まどか「間違ってないのに、幸せになれないなんて...ひどいよ」
Junko: Yeah. 詢子「うん」
Madoka: What do you think I should do? まどか「わたし、どうしたらいいんだろ?」
Junko stares into her glass briefly. しばしグラスを見つめる詢子。
Junko: ...That's not a problem that can be solved by someone not involved. 詢子「...そいつばっかりは、他人が口を突っ込んでも綺麗な解決はつかないねえ」
Madoka: .... まどか「...」
Madoka stares at Junko, waiting for her to continue. Junko knows her girl is unconvinced. She continues with a sigh. まどかは詢子を見つめて続きを待つ。娘が納得できていないと知り、溜息まじりに先を続ける詢子。
Junko: Do you want to solve this, even if it's not the nicest way to do it? 詢子「たとえ綺麗じゃない方法だとしても、解決したいかい?」
Madoka: Yeah. まどか「うん」
Junko: All you have to do is make a mistake for her. 詢子「ならーー間違えればいいのさ」
Junko stirs her glass, mixing the whiskey with ice. グラスを揺らし、氷で水割りを混ぜる詢子。
Junko: Somebody has to be in the wrong to balance out her need to be in the right. 詢子「正しすぎるその子のぶんまで、誰かが間違えてあげればいい」
Madoka: Do something wrong? まどか「間違える...?」
Junko: Tell a white lie, or run away from something scary. Sometimes you realize that was actually the best choice in the end. Sometimes when you hit a dead end with no real alternatives, making a big mistake is an option. 詢子「ずるい嘘をついたり、恐いモノから逃げ出したり、でもそれが、後になってみたら正解だったって分かることがある。本当に他にどうしょうもないほどどん詰まりになったら、いっそ思い切って間違えちゃうのも手なんだよ」
Madoka: But do you think she'll understand that I'm doing it for her own good? まどか「それが、その子のためになるって...分かってもらえるかな?」
Junko: She may or may not. Especially at first. I told you it might not be the nicest way to do it. But would you rather give up on her, or give her the wrong idea about you? 詢子「解ってもらえないときもある。特にすぐにはね。言ったろ?綺麗な解決じゃないって。...その子のことを諦めるより、誤解される方がまだマシだと思うかい?」
Madoka: ... まどか「...」
This makes Madoka more worried. Junko takes another sip, smiling gently. 思い悩むまどかを前に、詢子は酒をロにしつつ、優しく微笑む。
Junko: Madoka, you grew up to be a good girl. You don't lie, and you don't do anything bad. You're always trying hard to do what is right. You're already a wonderful child. That's why you should start learning how to make mistakes before you grow up. 詢子「まどか、あんたはいい子に育った。嘘もつかないし、悪いこともしない。いつだって正しくあろうとして頑張ってる。子供としてはもう合格だ。...だからね、大人になるまえに、今度は間違え方もちゃんと勉強しておきな」
Madoka: Learning how to make mistakes? まどか「勉強...なの?」
Junko: You recover from injury faster when you're young. If you learn how to fall down now, it'll be easier for you later on... When you get older, making mistakes gets harder. The more things you're responsible for, the less mistakes you can make. 詢子「若いうちは怪我の治りも早い。今のうちに上手な転び方を覚えといたら、後々きっと役に立つよ。...大人になるとねー、どんどん間違えるのが難しくなっちゃうんだ。プライドとか責任とかね、護るモノ、背負ったモノが増えるほど、下手を打てなくなってくの」
Madoka: I see... まどか「ふうん...」
Madoka drinks her juice, trying to digests Junko's words. 詢子の言葉に考え込みながら、ゆっくりジュースを飲むまどか。
Madoka: Isn't that hard? まどか「それって、辛くない?」
Junko: Being an adult is hard for everybody. That's why they let you drink. 詢子「大人は誰だって辛いのさ。だから酒飲んでもいいってことになってんの」
Junko laughs at her joke. Madoka joins in too. 冗談めかして笑う詢子。つられてまどかも笑う。
Madoka: I want to grow up and drink with you. まどか「わたしも、早くママとお酒飲んでみたいなあ」
Junko: Hurry up and get older. As difficult as it is, it's fun being an adult. 詢子「さっさと大きくなっちゃいな。辛いぶんだけ楽しいぞぉ、大人は」

Kyosuke Hospital Room

Kyosuke Hospital Room 恭介の病室
Evening. Sayaka visits, bringing a souvenir with her as usual. 夕方。いつものように、見舞いの手土産を持って訪れるさやか。
But Kyosuke's bed is empty. Everything has been cleared out. だが恭介のベッドは空で、私物も綺麗に片付けられている。
Sayaka: ...Eh? さやか「...あれ?」
Sayaka looks lost. Nurse A notices her from behind. 途方に暮れるさやか。その背中を見咎める看護師A。
Nurse A: 看護師A「あら?上条さんなら昨日退院したわよ」
Sayaka: Yes, that's right. さやか「そ、そうなんですか?」
Nurse A: His rehabilitation was going well, so his schedule was moved up. 看護師A「リハビリの経過も順調だったから、予定が前倒しになってーー連絡、行つてなかったの?」
Sayaka: I-I see. さやか「ええ、まあ」
Sayaka escapes with a meager smile. 曖昧な愛想笑いでお茶を濁すさやか。

Kamijo Home - Gate

Kamijou Home Gate 上条家の前
Night. Sayaka has walked here all the way from the hospital. She stands before the front gate. 夜。病院からそのままの足で、上条家の門前に立っさやか。
Sayaka hesitates over the doorbell. As she lingers, a faint sound of violin melody can be heard. チャイムを押すかどうか、やや逡巡しているうちに、ふと微かにヴァイオリンの旋律を聞き咎める。
Kyosuke is absorbed in his lesson. レッスンに没頭している恭介の演奏である。
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
The melody reaches Sayaka's ears. Just by listening, she can sense Kyosuke's focus. 演奏に耳を澄ますさやか。ただ聞いているだけでも、大変な集中力で練習に入れ込んでいる恭介の気迫が伝わってくる。
Sayaka doesn't wish to disturb him. A lonesome smile. She lowers the hand from the doorbell. とても邪魔できない、と思ったさやかは、寂しげに微笑んで、チャイムを押そうとしていた手を引っ込める。
Sayaka is about to leave, but stop suddenly all tense. そのまま帰ろうとするさやか。だがすぐさま、緊張の面持ちで立ち止まる。
Kyoko walks under the street light before Sayaka, out of the darkness. Chewing a churro in her hand. さやかの行く手に、闇の中から街灯の光の中へと、ゆっくり歩み出てくる杏子。手にしたチユロスを囓っている。
Kyoko: ——Going home without even seeing him? You've been chasing him around all day. 杏子「ーー会いもしないで帰るのかい?今日一日追いかけ回したくせに?」
Sayaka: You... さやか「おまえは...」
Kyoko: I know all about it. The little rich boy who lives here, right? The one you made a contract with Kyubey for. Christ. You wasted your only chance for a miracle on something that stupid? 杏子「知ってるよ。この家の坊ゃなんだろ? あんたがキユウベえと契約した理由って。...まったく。たった一度の奇跡のチャンスを、クダラネエ事に使い潰しゃがって」
Sayaka: What would you know?! さやか「お前なんかに...何が分かる!」
Kyoko: A hell of a lot more than you, dummy. Magic is only supposed to be used to grant wishes for yourself. No good comes out of using it for someone else. --Didn't Tomoe Mami even teach you that much? 杏子「分かってねえのはそっちだパヵ。魔法つてのはね、徹頭徹尾、自分だけの望みを叶えるためのもんなんだよ。他人のために使ったところでロクなことにはならないのさ。ーー巴マミは、その程度のことも教えてくれなかったのかい?」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...ツ」
Sayaka recalls Mami with the same advice. She grinds her teeth. マミに全く同じことを諌められた記憶が蘇り、歯噛みするさやか。
Kyoko: There are better ways of making a guy you love fall for you. After all, you've got all that magic now. 杏子「惚れた男をモノにするなら、もっと冴えた手があるじゃない? せっかく手に入れた魔法でさあ」
Sayaka: Wh-what? さやか「...なに?」
Kyoko: Just go in there and break his hands and legs so bad, he'll never be able to use them again. Make him so helpless that he won't be able to do anything without you. Do that, and he'll be yours and yours alone. Both his body and his heart. 杏子「今すぐ乗リ込んでいって、坊やの手も足も、二度と使えないぐらいに潰してやりな。もう一度、あんた無しでは何もできない身体にしてやるんだよ。そうすれば今度こそ坊やはアンタのもんだ。身も心も全部、ね」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...ツ」
Sayaka is so angry that she's loss for words. 怒りのあまり言葉を失うさやか。
Kyoko: If you don't have the guts, then I could do it for you. Just think of it as a favor to my fellow magical girl. It's no sweat. 杏子 「気が退けるってんなら、アタシが代わりに引き受けてもいいんだよ?同じ魔法少女のよしみだ。おやすい御用さ」
Sayaka: ...I will... never forgive you... I'll take you down this time... さやか「...絶対に...お前だけは絶対に、許さない...今度こそ必ず...ツ」
Sayaka rages with a murderous intent. Kyoko smiles with contempt. 殺気立つさやかを前にして、不敵に笑う杏子。
Kyoko: Let's take this some place else, then. We wouldn't want to attract a crowd. 杏子「場所を変えようか。ここじゃ人目に付きそうだ」

Kaname Home - Madoka Room

Kaname Home - Madoka Room 鹿目家、まどかの私室
Madoka doing homework at her desk. 勉強机について宿題を片付けているまどか。
But She can't focus at all. Her thoughts is elsewhere. Her mind replays the conversation with Junko from last night. だがまったく集中できず、物思いに耽っている。脳裏をよぎるのは昨夜の詢子の言葉。
Junko: (Voice Over) ——Somebody has to be in the wrong to balance out her need to be in the right.—— 詢子M『ーー正しすぎるその子のぶんまで、誰かが間違えてあげればいいーー』
Madoka: But how could I... まどか「そんなこと、言われでも...」
At at the same time, Kyubey's telepathy reaches Madoka's mind. そのとき、まどかの脳裏にキユウベえからのテレパシーが届く。
Kyubey: Madoka... Madoka! キユウベえ『まどか...まどか!』
Madoka turns around, seeing Kyubey by the window immediately. ぎょっとして振リ向くまどか。すると部屋の窓の外に、キユウベえがしがみついている。
Kyubey: Hurry! Sayaka's in trouble! Follow me! キユウベえ『急いで!さやかが危ない! ついてきて!』

Overpass Above a Freeway

Overpass Above a Freeway 高速道路上の跨道橋
A overpass across a 4-lane freeway. Freeway traffic crowds beneath the bridge, but above is a complete blind-spot. No one below will notice what happens on the bridge. 4車線の高速道路を跨ぐ、小さな橋。眼下の高速道路は往来が激しく騒がしい一方で、橋の上は一種の死角となり、誰の自にも留まらない。
Sayaka and Kyoko stand some distance apart. Kyoko is still eating her churro. やや距離を置いて対時するさやかと杏手。杏子は相変わらずチユロスを食べている。
Kyouko: We won't have to hold back here. It's party time. 杏子「ここなら遠慮はいらないよねえ。いっちょ派手にいこうじゃない」
Kyoko transforms. Sayaka holds her soul gem in her hand. 杏子、魔法少女スタイルに変身。さやかもまたソウルジエムを手に身構える。
Madoka and Kyubey rush here in a hurry. そこに駆けつけるまどかとキユウベえ。
Madoka: Wait! Sayaka-chan! まどか「待って、さやかちゃん!」
Sayaka: M-Madoka... さやか「まどか...」
Sayaka is perplex for a moment, but immediately regains her concentration. 一瞬、虚を突かれるさやかだが、すぐにまた闘志の表情に戻る。
Sayaka: Don't get in the way. This isn't even any of your business. さやか「邪魔しないで。そもそもまどかは関係ない話なんだから」
Madoka: No, this is definitely wrong! まどか「駄目だょこんなの!絶対おかしいよ!」
Watching Madoka as she tries desperately to stop Sayaka, Kyoko laughs dryly. 必死に制止するまどかに、冷笑を浴びせる杏子。
Kyoko: Hmph. Annoying jerks sure attract annoying friends. 杏子「フン、ウザイ奴にはウザイ仲間がいるもんだねえ」
Homura: I wonder what sort of friends you have, then. ほむら「じゃあ、あなたの仲間はどうなのかしら?」
Homura's habit of suddenly appearing behind her makes Kyoko rather uncomfortable. 不意に杏子の背後に姿を現すほむら。忌々しげに舌打ちする杏子。
Homura: This isn't what we agreed on. I thought I told you to keep your hands off of Miki Sayaka. ほむら「話が違うわ。美樹さやかには手を出すなと言った筈よ」
Kyoko: Your method wouldn't get the message across! She's not backing down either way. 杏子「あんたのやり方じゃ手緩すぎるんだよ。ーーどのみち、向こうはやる気だぜ」
Homura: Then... ほむら「なら...」
Homura transforms. 変身するほむら。
Homura: I'll take her on. Stay out of it. ほむら「...私が相手をする。手出ししないで」
Kyouko: Pssh. 杏子「フン」
Kyoko raises the very last bit of her churro. 杏子、短くなったチュロスを掲げて、
Kyouko: You've got until I finish eating this. 杏子「じゃあコイツを食い終わるまで待ってやる」
Homura: That's plenty of time. ほむら「充分よ」
This exchange between Kyoko and Homura enrages Sayaka even further. 杏子とほむらのやりとりを聞いて、ますます怒るさやか。
Sayaka: Don't underestimate me! さやか「舐めるんじゃ、ないわよ...」
Sayaka lifts up her soul gem, ready to transform. ソウルジエムを掲げ、変身しようとするさやか。
Determined to do something, Madoka suddenly has an idea. 見かねたまどかは、即座に覚悟を決める。
Madoka: Sayaka-chan, I'm sorry! まどか「さやかちゃんーーごめん!」
Madoka unexpectedly snatches Sayaka's soul gem from her hand. いきなり横合いから、さやかの手の中のソウルジエムを奪い取るまどか。
Sayaka: Wha...!? さやか「なっ...!?」
Kyoko and Homura are just as stunned as Sayaka. さやかのみならず、杏子とほむらも呆気にとられる。
Madoka immediately throws the soul gem into the traffic below. まどかは奪い取ったソウルジエムを、即座に跨道橋の下の高速道路へと投げ捨てる。
It falls on top of a truck passing by, carried away instantly. ソウルジエムは、たまたま真下を走っていたトラックの荷台にひっかかり、一瞬のうちに彼方へと運び去られていく。
Homura: ——Shit! はむら「ーーまずいッ!」
Homura turns pale. Instantly (actually time control, but appears to) teleports, she chases behind the truck. 血相を変えるほむら。いきなり瞬間移動(に見える時間操作)で姿を消し、トラックの後を追う。
Sayaka: Madoka, what the hell?! さやか「まどか...あんた何てことをツ」
Madoka: But if I hadn't... まどか「だって、こうしないと...」
Sayaka steps toward Madoka, but suddenly losses her strength and collapse into Madoka's arms. まどかに食つでかかろうとするさやか。だが急に脱力し、まどかの腕の中に倒れ込む。
Madoka: ...Sayaka-chan? まどか「...さやかちゃん?」
What happened leaves Madoka dumbstruck. 何が起こったのか分からずきょとんとなるまどか。
Sayaka lays motionless, her eyes hollow. さやかは虚ろな目をしたまま、身動きひとつしない。
Kyubey: That was bad, Madoka. キユウべえ「今のはまずかったよ、まどか」
Seemingly surprised, Kyubey shakes its head. 呆れ果てたかのように、かぶりを振るキユウベえ。
Kyubey: How could you just throw away your friend like that? Are you crazy? キユウベえ「よりにもよって友達を放り投げるなんて、どうかしてるよ」
Madoka: What... what are you saying? まどか「何?...何なの?」
Kyoko walks solemnly forward. She lunges forward and grips Sayaka up by her neck roughly. 強張った表情でずかずか歩み寄ってくる杏子。いきなり乱暴にさやかの首を掴む。
Madoka hastily attempts to stop her. 慌てて抵抗するまどか。
Madoka: S-stop it! まどか「ゃ、やめて!」
Kyoko: What the hell is this...? 杏子「...どういうことだ、おい?」
Kyoko faces Kyubey instead of Madoka, ask with outrage. 杏子、まどかではなくキユウベえに向けて、押し殺した声で問、っ。
Kyoko: She's dead! 杏子「こいつ、死んでるじゃねーかよ!」
Madoka is so startled by Kyoko's words that she can't react. 驚きのあまり表情が凍りつくまどか。


Freeway 高速道路
Homura struggles to catch up to the vehicle carrying the soul gem. She teleports again and again (in fact several time stops. She has been running nonstop). さやかのソウルジエムを荷台に載せたまま先行するトラックを、述続テレポートで必死に追うほむら。(実際には何度も時を止め、そのたびに全力疾走を繰り返してます)


Overpass 跨道橋の上
Sayaka's body remains motionless, neither breathing nor heartbeats. 依然、何の反応もないさやかの身体。呼吸も脈もない。
Madoka is stunned, unable to comprehend the situation. 事態が理解できず呆然となるまどか。
Madoka: Sayaka-chan? Hey, Sayaka-chan? Wake up! Say something! まどか「さやかちゃん、ねえ、さやかちゃん...起きて、ねえ?」
Madoka shakes Sayaka's shoulders desperately, but Sayaka simply flops back and forth like a puppet. 何度もさやかの肩をゆするまどか。だがさやかの首は人形のようにぐらぐらと揺れるだけ。
Madoka: What's wrong? I didn't want this to happen! Sayaka-chan! まどか「ねえ、ちょっと...どうしたの?ねえ!?嫌だよ、こんなの...さやかちゃあん!!」
As Madoka grows hysterical, Kyoko also becomes irritated by the situation. パニックに陥るまどか。杏子もまた、理解を超えた状況に焦る。
Kyoko: What the hell is going on? Hey...! 杏子「何がどうなってやがんだ、おい...」
Kyubey: You magical girls can only control your bodies from 100 meters away, at most. キユウベえ「君たち魔法少女が身体をコントロールできるのは、せいぜい100メートル圏内が限度だからね」
Only Kyubey remains calm in this situation. ただひとり、冷静なまま説明するキユウベえ。
Kyoko: 100 meters?! What the hell does that mean? 杏子「100メートル? 何のことだ? どういう意味だ!?」
Kyubey: You normally carry them with you, so accidents like this are rare. キユウべえ「普段は当然、肌身離さず持ち歩いてるんだから、こういろ事故は滅多にあることじゃないんだけど...」
Madoka: What are you saying, Kyubey? Save her! Don't let Sayaka-chan die! まどか「何言ってるのよキユウベえ!助けてよ!さやかちゃんを死なせないで!」
Madoka appeals to Kyubey frantically. Kyubey simply sighs. 半狂乱でキュゥベえに訴えるまどか。だがキュゥべえは溜息まじりに、
Kyubey: Madoka, that isn't Sayaka. It's just an empty shell. キユウベえ「まどか、そっちはさやかじゃなくて、ただの抜け殻なんだって」
Madoka: Eh...? まどか「え...」
Madoka is at a loss. 途方に暮れるまどか。
Kyubey: You just threw Sayaka away. キユウベえ「さやかはさっき、君が投げて捨てちゃったじゃないか」
Kyoko: Wh-what...? 杏子「な...」
A sudden realization comes to her, Kyouko stares at her soul gem in shock. キユウベえの言葉の意味を悟り、愕然と、自分のソウルジエムを見つめる杏子。
Kyouko: What... did you say? 杏子「なん...だと?」


Freeway 高速道路
Homura is still chasing the truck. 引き続き、トラックを追っているほむら。
She finally grabs onto the truck bed. 何とかして荷台の端にしがみつき、上へと這い上がる。
Kyubey: (Off Screen) I couldn't just ask you to fight witches with a fragile human body. キユウベえoff「ただの人間と同じ壊れやすい身体のままで、魔女と戦ってくれなんて、とてもお願いできないよ」
Homura lunges at Sayaka's soul gem that rests by a pallet. She breaths a sigh of relief. 荷台の片隅に引っかかっていたさやかのソウルジエムを掴み取るほむら。安堵の溜息。
Kyubey: (Off Screen) A magical girl's old body is nothing more than a piece of external hardware. Your actual soul is given a much safer, compact form that is capable of controlling magic much more efficiently. キユウベえoff「君たち魔法少女にとって、もとの身体なんでいうのは外付けのハードウエアでしかないんだ。君たちの本体としての魂には、魔力をより効率よく運用できる、コンパクトで安全な姿が与えられてる」


Overpass 跨道橋の上
Kyubey continue to explain with indifference, while Madoka and Kyoko watch in horror. 恐怖に顔を引き攣らせたまどかと杏子の前で、淡々と説明を続けているキユウベえ。
Kyubey: It's part of my job, when I complete a magical girl's contract. I extract your souls and turn them into Soul Gems. キユウベえ「魔法少女との契約を取り結ぶ僕の役目はね、君たちの魂を抜き取って、ソウルジエムに変えることなのさ」
Kyoko: What the hell did you do to us? 杏子「てめえは...なんてことを...」
Kyoko seizes at Kyubey by its ears in anger. 怒りのあまりキユウベえの耳を鷲掴みにする杏子。
Kyoko: You bastard! You basically turned us into zombies! 杏子「ふざけるんじゃねえ!それじゃアタシたち、ゾンピにされたようなもんじゃないか!」
Kyubey: Isn't it more convenient? Even if your heart is torn to shreds, or you lose every drop of blood, your body can be fixed in no time with magical healing. You're basically invincible, provided that your Soul Gem is intact. Isn't that far more advantageous than fighting with a human body full of vital organs? キユウベえ「むしろ便利だろう?心臓が破れても、ありつたけの血を抜かれでも、その身体は魔力で修理すればすぐまた動くようになる。ソウルジエムさえ砕かれない限り君たちは無敵だよ。弱点だらけの人体よりも、よほど戦いでは有利じゃないか」
Madoka: That's terrible... that's too awful... まどか「ひどいよ...そんなの、あんまりだよ...」
No a hint of apology from Kyubey, merely confusion. だがキユウべえは何ら悪びれた風もなく、むしろ心底途方にくれている。
Kyubey: You're all the same. You always react like this when you're told what's really going on. I don't get it at all. Why are humans so touchy about the placement of their souls? キユウベえ「...君たちはいつもそうだね。事実をありのままに伝えると、決まって同じ反応をする。訳が分からないよ。どうして人間はそんなに、魂の在処にこだわるんだい?」
Kyoko: ...Tch... 杏子「...ツ」
Kyoko trembles with anger. Madoka bust into tears, holding Sayaka's body tightly. 怒りにわなわなと震える杏子。さやかの死体を抱いたまま、涙に暮れるまどか。
Homura returns. She places Sayaka's soul gem in Sayaka's hand. そこへ帰還するほむら。持ち帰ったソウルジエムを、さやかの手に握らせる。
A moment later, Sayaka's body jolts, and she suddenly opens her eyes. 直後、ぷるりと身震いして目を開けるさやか。
Sayaka: ..Ah...? さやか「...あ...?」
Sayaka looks around, dazed and confused. しばらく状況が呑み込めず、さやかは途方に暮れて辺りを見回す。
Sayaka: ...What? What's wrong? さやか「...何? 何なの?」

Episode 6 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text:
Can Kyubey detect it when Homura uses magic?
Gen I rewrote this entire section of Draft 0. The sequence where, "Homura request Sayaka to avoid conflict with Kyoko, and Sayaka replies that this city is mine" was cut. I also adjusted the last scene so the entire truth regarding soul gems was revealed in this episode.


Episode 7: Can You Face Your True Feelings?

Toggle original text:

Magical girls are no longer human. They sacrifice any possibility of a normal life for a miracle. Madoka sympathizes them, but Homura reacts with indifference.

Meanwhile, Kyouko appears before Sayaka, who is lost in despair, and reveals her past to Sayaka. Her wish was for her father's sake, and as result, she lost everything.

Kyouko wants Sayaka to share her belief in how to live as magical girls, but Sayaka refuses, leaving Kyouko behind...

Sometime later, Hitomi approaches Sayaka. She reveals her feelings towards Kyousuke to Sayaka and declares herself as a love rival. No longer can love as humans do, Sayaka hurls herself into battle. Even Madoka cannot stop Sayaka in her rampage...





Part A

See also: Episode 7A Final Draft


Previously, 前話回想
Tossed by Madoka, Sayaka's soul gem tumbles in the air. まどかに投げ捨てられ、宙を舞うさやかのソウルジェム。
Kyubey: (Off Screen) A magical girl's old body is nothing more than a piece of external hardware. Your actual soul is given a much safer, compact form that is capable of controlling magic much more efficiently. キユウベえoff「君たち魔法少女にとって、もとの身体なんでいうのは外付けのハードウエアでしかないんだ。君たちの本体としての魂には、魔力をより効率よく運用できる、コンパクトで安全な姿が与えられてる」
Sayaka's body slumps lifelessly in Madoka's arms. まどかの腕の中に倒れ込む、機能停止したさやかの身体。
Kyubey: It's part of my job, when I complete a magical girl's contract. I extract your souls and turn them into Soul Gems. キユウベえ「魔法少女との契約を取り結ぶ僕の役目はね、君たちの魂を抜き取って、ソウルジエムに変えることなのさ」
Kyubey explains, a smile on its face, before the horrified Madoka and Kyoko. 悪びれた風もなくにこやかに語るキユウベえを前にして、恐怖に顔を引き攣らせるまどかと杏子。

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room さやかの部屋
Sayaka returns. 帰宅したさやか。
Now alone with Kyubey in her room, Sayaka tosses her soul gem at her desk. She turns hostile toward it, demanding answers. 部屋でキユウベえと二人きりになったところで、さやかはソウルジエムを勉強机の上に投げ就き、血相を変えて相手を問い詰める。
Sayaka: What's going on? You said my body is just an empty husk... さやか「どういうことなの?あたしの身体が、抜け殻って...」
Kyubey: I simply give your soul physical form, so your spiritual power may be converted to energy—— キユウベえ「君の魂を物質的存在にシフトさせてあげただけだよ。 おかげで君は霊力をエネルギーに変換できるようになったしーー」
Sayaka: I never heard of this! さやか「そんなこと訊いてるんじゃないのよ!」
Sayaka is fuming with anger. 怒りを爆発させるさやか。
Sayaka: You tricked us, didn't you? さやか「騙してたのね、あたしたちを...」
Kyubey looks perplexed. 困惑するキュゥベえ。
Kyubey: I distinctly remember asking you to become a magical girl. I just didn't explain precisely what would be involved. キユウベえ「僕は魔法少女になってくれって、きちんとお願いしたはずだよ。実際の姿がどういうものかは、説明を省略したけれど」
Sayaka: Why didn't you tell us?! さやか「なんで教えてくれなかったのよ!?」
Kyubey: You never asked. It wouldn't have bothered you one bit if you'd never found out. Mami, for example, never did. キユウベえ「訊かれなかったからさ。知らなければ知らないままで、何の不都合もないからね。事実、あのマミでさえ最後まで気付かなかった」
Kyubey does not look at all intimated by Sayaka's threatening attitude. さやかの剣幕に対して、キユウべえは全く悪びれた様子もない。
Kyubey: Besides, you humans don't even realize you have souls in the first place. キユウベえ「そもそも君たち人間は、魂の存在なんて最初から自覚できてないんだろう?」
Kyubey points at Sayaka's head. キユウべえはさやかの頭を指差し、
Kyubey: Your body's nothing more than a collection of neurons-- キユゥべえ「そこは神経細胞の集まりでしかないしーー」
Then, it points at her heart. 続けて今度は胸を指差し、
Kyubey: ...and a centralized cardiovascular system. In addition, when the human body ceases to function, the soul is lost. I gave your soul a physical form to prevent that from happening— a form you can pick up and protect with your own hands. That way, you can battle withes with greater safety. キユウベえ「ーーそこは循環器系の中枢があるだけだ。そのくせ生命が維持できなくなると、人間は精神まで消滅してしまう。そうならないよう、僕は君たちの魂を実体化し、手に取って、きちんと護れる形にしてあげた。少しでも安全に魔女と戦えるように、ね」
Sayaka: Nobody asked you to do that! さやか「大きな...お世話よ!そんな余計なこと...」
Kyubey: You still don't understand what it's like to fight, do you? キユウベえ「君は戦いというものを甘く考えすぎだよ」
Kyubey sighs in disappointment. 呆れ果てた、とばかり溜息をつくキユウべえ。
Kyubey: For example, take the pain you would experience upon being impaled by a spear. キユウベえ「たとえばお腹に槍が刺さった場合、肉体の痛覚がどれだけの刺激を受けるかっていうとね...」
To demonstrate, Kyubey touches the soul gem that Sayaka left on her desk. Kyubey sends some sort of magical power into it. キユウベえ、机の上に放置されたさやかのソウルジエムに触れて、何らかの魔力を送り込む。
Sayaka: Ah--!! さやか「ひっーーツ!!」
Sayaka falls to her knees, caused by an excruciating pain suddenly returns to her abdomen. 途端に、腹に物凄い激痛を覚えて身体を折り曲げるさやか。
Kyubey: This is how it would actually feel. A single strike would be enough to incapacitate you. キユウべえ「これが本来の『痛み』だよ。ただの一発でも動けやしないだろう?」
Sayaka: Ah... oww... さやか「あ...う...」
Sayaka writhes in pain, remembering her battle with Kyoko in Episode 5. 痛みに悶えながら、五話での杏子との戦いを回想するさやか。
She shivers from realizing how many killing blows she received. 幾度となく身体に与えられた壊滅的なダメージを思い出し、身震いする。
Kyubey stares Sayaka as it continue to explain in a calm voice. そんなさやかを見つめながら、平然と説明を続けるキユウベぇ。
Kyubey: Pain inhibition was the only reason you remained standing to the end against Kyoko. It was only possible because your consciousness isn't directly linked with your body. That's how you were able to survive that battle. キユウベえ「君が杏子との戦いで最後まで立っていられたのは、強すぎる苦痛がセーブされていたからさ。君の意識が肉体と直結してないからこそ可能なことだ。おかげで君はあの戦闘を生き延びることができた」
Kyubey lets go of the soul gem. キユウべえ、ソウルジエムから手を離す。
The pain immediately subsides. Sayaka feels drained, even breathing feels difficult. 即座に苦痛から解放されるさやか。荒い呼吸で脱力する。
Kyubey: In time, you can even learn to completely cut off pain. But I won't recommend that, since it tends to slow you down. キユウベえ「慣れてくれば完全に痛みを遮断することもできるよ。もっとも、それはそれで動きが鈍るから、あまりお勧めはしないけど」
Sayaka: Why... why did you do this to us...? さやか「...何でよ...どうしてあたしたちを、こんな目に...」
Kyubey smirks as Sayaka asked in tears. 半泣きで訴えかけるさやかに、にっこりと微笑むキユウベえ。
Kyubey: You had a wish important enough to commit yourself to a life of battle, did you not? And your wish came true, didn't it? キユウベえ「戦いの運命を受け入れてまで、君には叶えたい望みがあったんだろう?それは間違いなく実現したじゃないか」

School - Classroom

School - Classroom 学校、教室
Morning. Before homeroom. A bunch of rowdy classmates. 朝、HR前。登校した生徒たちの喧嘩。
Kazuko Saotome comes in. The class rep calls for attention. そこに入ってくる早乙女先生。日直が号令をかける。
Saotome: Stand~ Bow~ 日直「きり~っ、礼~」
Madoka glances warily at Sayaka's empty seat. She's not coming today? まどか、心配げに空っぽのさやかの席を見る。今日は登校しないのだろうか。

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room さやかの部屋
Curtains closed, the room is dark. カーテンを閉め切った暗い部屋。
Sayaka buries herself in blankets, depressed. 頭から布団を被り、落ち込んでいるさやか。
Cupping her soul gem tightly in her hand, she stares at its faint glow. 布団の中で自分のソウルジエムを握りしめ、その輝きを見つめている。

School - Rooftop

School - Rooftop 学校屋上
Recess. Madoka and Homura lean against a fence. 休み時間。フェンスによりかかっているまどかとほむら。
Madoka: Homura-chan, did you know about that? まどか「ほむらちゃんは...知ってたの?」
Homura nods in silence. 無言で領くほむら。
Madoka: Why didn't you tell us? まどか「どうして、教えてくれなかったの?」
Homura: Nobody I've warned has ever believed me before. ほむら「前もって話しても、信じてくれた人は、今まで一人もいなかったわ」
Madoka: ... まどか「...」
Madoka wants to ask Homura - why does she always look so dejected, as if she has given up on everyone - but the words refuse to come out. She switchs topic. 何故いつもそうやって他人のことを諦めてばかりなのかと問い糾したくなるまどかだが、代わりに違う質問をする。
Madoka: Why would Kyubey do something so cruel? まどか「キユウべえは、どうしてこんな酷いことをするの?」
Homura: He doesn't think it's cruel. He's a creature that doesn't understand human values. He'd just say it was an appropriate payment for bringing about a miracle. ほむら「あいつは酷いとさえ思つてない。人間の価値観が通用しない生き物だから。何もかも、奇跡の正当な対価だと、そう言い張るだけよ」
Madoka: That's not fair at all! まどか「ぜんぜん、釣り合ってないよ!」
Madoka shouts involuntarily. 思わず叫ぶまどか。
Madoka: How could he do that to her? All Sayaka-chan wanted was to heal the person she loved...! まどか「あんな身体にされちゃうなんて...さやかちゃんは、ただ好きな人の怪我を治したかっただけなのに...」
Homura: It was still a miracle. He made the impossible possible. ほむら「奇跡であることに違いはないわ。不可能を可能にしたんだから」
Homura calmly responds. あくまで冷静に応じるほむら。
Homura: Even if Miki Sayaka dedicated her entire life to caring for him, he would never have recovered enough to play the violin again. Normally, a miracle costs far more than a human life, but that's the price for which Kyubey sells them. ほむら「美樹さやかが一生を費やして介護しても、あの少年が再び演奏できるようになる日は来なかった。奇跡はね、本当なら人の命でさえ贖えるものじゃないのよ。それを売って歩いているのが、あいつ」
Madoka is frustrated at herself for not able to find a rebuttal. After a while, she asks again. まどか、悔しいものの反論できない。ややあって、さらに別の質問を。
Madoka: Sayaka-chan won't be able to go back to her normal life? まどか「さやかちゃんは...もとの暮らしには、戻れないの?」
Homura: ... ほむら「...」
Homura answers, somewhat shaken. 答え辛そ、つなほむら。
Madoka: If she stops using magic altogether, she doesn't need anymore grief seeds, right? She doesn't have to fight anymore Witches, right? まどか「魔法さえ使わなければ、グリーフシードなんでいらないよね?魔女と戦わなくてもいいんだよね?」
Homura: Simply maintaining the body consumes a minimum amount of magic, so grief seeds are still a necessity. She would still need to hunt witches. ほむら「ただ身体を維持するだけでも、少しずつ魔力を消耗していくの。だからやがては、グリーフシードが必要になる。魔女を倒して手に入れるしか、ない」
Madoka: .... まどか「...」
Madoka falls silent. Her mind races desperately for another solution, refusing to give up for Sayaka's sake. 黙り込むまどか。だがさやかのことを諦めきれず、必死に別の活路はないかと考え込む。
Homura, unwilling to watch Madoka struggle further, speaks frankly. そんなまどかが見るに忍びず、敢えて冷たい言葉をぶつけるほむら。
Homura: ...I've said this before, have I not? Give up on Miki Sayaka. ほむら「...前にも言ったわよね。美樹さやかのことは諦めろって」
Madoka: ...Sayaka-chan saved me! まどか「さやかちゃんは、私を助けてくれたの」
Madoka recalls when the witch from Episode 4 attacked her. まどか、四話で魔女に襲われたときのことを回想する。
Madoka: If she hadn't been a magical girl at the time, Hitomi-chan and I would have died...! まどか「さやかちゃんが魔法少女じゃなかったら、あのときわたしも、仁美ちゃんも、死んでたの...」
Homura: Don't confuse gratitude with responsibility. ほむら「感謝と責任を混同しては、駄目よ」
Homura asserts, unmoved and without any emotion. あくまで情に流されることなく、きっぱりと言い切るほむら。
Homura: There is no way for you to save her. If you're thinking of returning the favor to alleviate your own sense of guilt, I suggest you reconsider. ほむら「あなたには彼女を救う手立てなんてない。引け目を感じたくないからって、借りを返そうだなんて、そんな出過ぎた考えは捨てなさい」
Those callous words toward Sayaka leave Madoka shaking. さやかの冷淡さが我慢ならず、身震いするまどか。
Madoka: ...Homura-chan, why are you always so cold? まどか「...ほむらちゃん、どうしていつも、そんなに冷たいの?」
Homura: I suppose... ほむら「そうね...」
Homura looks down at the soul gem in her hand with a self-deprecating smile. ほむら、手の中のソウルジエムを見下ろして、自嘲気味に微笑む。
Homura:'s because I'm no longer human as well. ほむら「きっともう、人間じゃないから、かもね」
Madoka: ... まどか「...」
Madoka's heart sinks, realizing Homura has gave up on herself as well. 他人だけでなく自分白身に対してさえ冷酷なほむらを、心底哀しく思うまどか。

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room さやかの部屋
It's afternoon, yet Sayaka still hasn't left her bed. 午後になっても布団から出られないさやか。
Depressed, her mind wanders to Kyousuke. 憂欝な面持ちのまま、恭介のことを思う。
Sayaka: How can I visit Kyousuke after being turned into this thing...? さやか「こんな身体になっちゃって...あたし、どんな顔して恭介に会えばいいのかな」
At this moment, Kyouko suddenly calls for Sayaka by telepathy. そこへ不意に、脳裏に響く杏子からのテレパシー。
Kyouko: How long are you gonna lie there feeling sorry for yourself, dummy? 杏子『いつまでもしょぼくれてんじゃねーぞ、ボンクラ』
Sayaka: ...!? さやか「...ッ!?」
Shocked, Sayaka jumps out from under cover. 驚き、布団を払い除けて跳び起きるさやか。
She races to her window and looks down at the street below. 窓に駆け寄って外を見下ろす。
Kyouko stands by Sayaka's doorstep, eating an apple, with another paper bag full of apple in her other hand. 家の前に、林檎を囓りながら佇んでいる杏子。片手には青果店の紙袋を抱えている。
Kyouko: Come out for a bit. We need to talk. 杏子『ちょいと面貸しな。話がある』

Dusk - City Outskirts

Dusk - City Outskirts 夕刻の街外れ
They follow on a small path covered in weed on a small hill. Kyouko walks out front, holding an apple. Sayaka follows, staring at Kyouko's defenseless behind. 雑木林に覆われた丘の坂道。林檎片手に、先に立って歩く杏子。後からついてくるさやかに、無防備な背中を晒している。
Looking down on her again? Another trap? Sayaka follows nervously. さやかは舐められているのか、それとも何かの罠なのか判断がつかず、緊張した面持ちのままついていく。
Kyouko: You regret what was done to your body, don't you? 杏子「あんたさあ、やっぱり後悔してるの? こんな身体にされちゃったこと」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Kyouko ignores the non-response. She continues. 無言のさやかに構わず、杏子は話を続ける。
Kyouko: I'm starting to think it doesn't really matter. I mean, I'm able to do what I want because I acquired these powers. It's not really something I regret. 杏子「あたしはさ、まあいいか、って思ってるんだ。なんだかんだで、この力を手に入れたから好き勝手できてるわけだし。後悔するほどのことでもないってね」
Sayaka: You... just got what you deserved. さやか「あんたは...自業自得なだけでしょ」
Kyouko: Yeah! You can just think of it that way. 杏子「そうだよ。自業自得にしちゃえばいいのさ」
Kyouko replies, unconcerned. あっけらかんと応じる杏子。
Kyouko: If you live only for yourself, everything you do is your fault. You have no reason to resent others, and you'll never have any regrets. 杏子「自分のためにだけ生きてれば、何もかも自分のせいだ。誰を恨むこともないし、後悔なんであるわけがない。そう思えば、大抵のことは背負えるもんさ」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Sayaka fails to read the meaning in Kyouko's words. 相変わらず杏子の真意が読めないさやか。
They arrive at the top of the hill. Here rests what remained of an abandoned church. やがて二人は、丘の頂に。そこには廃墟と化した教会が建っている。

Abandoned Church

Abandoned Church 教会の廃墟
Kyouko kicks open the entrance and enters. Sayaka follows behind. 玄関を蹴り開けて、中に入る杏子。後に続くさやか。
Sayaka: ...Why did you bring me the way out here? さやか「...こんな所まで連れてきて、何なのよ?」
Kyouko toys with the apple in her hand, searching for words. She scrolls towards the altar. 杏子は手の中の林檎を弄びながら、どう切り出すか思案するかのように、祭壇の辺りをぶらぶら歩く。
Kyouko: It's kind of a long story. 杏子「ちょっとばかり長い話になる」
Kyouko takes out an apple from her bag and tosses it to Sayaka. 紙袋の中の林檎のひとつを、さやかへと放ってよこす杏子。
Kyouko: Want one? 杏子「食うかい?」
Sayaka: .... さやか「...」
Sayaka clenches her teeth, annoyed, and tosses the apple aside. 怒りを噛み殺し、投げ渡された林檎を放り捨てるさやか。
Immediately, Kyouko lunges at Sayaka, grabbing her by the throat. Displaying an anger never seem before. その途端、いきなり杏子がさやかの間合いに踏み込み、襟首を掴んで締め上げる。杏子はかつてないほどに本気の怒リの形相。
Kyouko: Don't ever waste food... I'll kill you if you do. 杏子「食い物を粗末にするんじゃねえ...殺すぞ?」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Kyouko turned hostile so quickly that Sayaka couldn't respond. シニカルなばかりと思っていた杏子の豹変に、驚いてやや気圧されるさやか。
Kyouko releases Sayaka. She picks up the apple that Sayaka tossed away, carefully cleans it, and places it back into the bag. 杏子はさやかから手を離すと、彼女が捨てた林檎を拾い、丁寧に汚れを拭ってから、袋に戻す。
Ignoring the dumbfounded Sayaka, Kyouko paces the church, recalling her past. 呆気に取られているさやかを余所に、杏子は教会の中をぶらつきながら、想い出に耽る。
Kyouko: ...This place was my father's church. 杏子「...ここはね、あたしの親父の教会だった」

Kyouko's Flashback

Kyouko's Flashback 杏子の回想
A spotless church in years past, Kyoko's father is switching out an old candle. 往年の清潔な教会。古い蝋燭を取り替えて火を点している杏子の父。
A younger Kyoko, and her little sister, are cleaning in their aprons. 幼い頃の杏子と妹も、雑巾掛けなどして掃除している。
They exchange a smile with their father. 微笑みを交わす父親と姉妹。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) He was an extremely honest and kind person. The type of person who'd cry just from reading the morning paper, and put serious thought into how to make the world a better place. 杏子off「正直すぎて、優しすぎる人だった。每朝、新聞を読むたびに涙浮かべて、どうして世の中がよくならないのか、真剣に悩んでるような人でさ」
Father preaches before a congregation seated in pews. 信徒席に座る信者たちを前にして、説教している父の姿。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) My dad always said that a new religion was needed to save a new era. That's why he started preaching things that weren't part of the scripture. 杏子off「新しい時代を救うには、新しい信仰が必要だって、それが親父の言い分だった。だからあるとき、教義にないことまで信者に説教するようになった」
The church, deserted. 空つぽになった教会。
Kyoko and her father are at a loss. 呆然としている杏子の父。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) As you expected, people stopped coming to his sermons. Then he got excommunicated by the church. 杏子off「勿論、信者の足はばったり途絶えたよ。本部からも破門された」
Increasingly desolated, the church falls into ruins. 次第に荒れ果てて、廃墟じみていく教会。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) No one would listen to what he had to say. It shouldn't have been a surprise. From the outside, it would've looked like some sketchy cult. No matter how right he was. No matter how logical the things he said were, he was just an outcast in the eyes of society. 杏子off 「誰も親父の話を聞こうとしなかった。当然だよね。はたから見れば胡散臭い新興宗教さ。どんなに正しいことを、当たり前のことを話そうとしても、世間じゃただの鼻つまみものさ」
Kyoko and her father wander from house to house, preaching at their former congregates in shabby clothing. They are turned away coldly everywhere they went. みすぼらしい姿のまま、信徒たちの家を巡回して説教しようとするの杏子と父。だが冷たく門前払いであしらわれる。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) Our whole family was left with nothing, not even food. 杏子off「あたしたちは一家揃って、食うモノにも事欠く有様だった」
Sakura family dining table. Only a watery soup for supper. 佐倉家の食卓。水のようなスープだけしかない侘びしい夕食。
Kyoko: I couldn't accept it. My dad wasn't saying anything wrong. It was just different from what people were used to hearing. 杏子off「納得できなかったよ。親父は間違ったことなんて言つてなかった。ただ、人と違うことを話しただけだ」
Disappointed, the father and child walk through a bustling night market. 夜の街の賑わいの中を、失意のまま歩く父娘。
They're surrounded by happy pedestrians, but not one person looks towards them. 周囲で笑顔の通行人たちは、二人にまったく日もくれない、。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) If they had just listened to him for five minutes, it would've been obvious that he was right... But in the end, no one listened to him. 杏子off「5分でいい、ちゃんと耳を傾けてくれれば、正しいことを言ってるって、誰にでも分かったはずなんだ。...なのに誰も相手をしてくれなかった。真面目に取り合ってくれなかった」
Kyoko's father sits in the deserted church, alone. His shoulders slump. 寂れた教会の信徒席に、肩を落として立っている杏子の父。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) Watching father alone in the empty church, waiting for people to return, like a fool... I couldn't stand it. It was unforgivable. 杏子off「カラツポの教会に、ただ一人ポツンと座って、誰かが来るのを待ってる親父は、なんだかピエロみたいでき...悔しかった。許せなかった。誰もあの人のこと分かってくれないのが、あたしには我慢できなかった」
A frail-looking Kyoko walks around town. Her gaze focuses on an apple at a fruit stand. She can't help herself from stealing it. やせ衰えて、街を歩く杏子。ふと目に留めた果物屋で、飾つである林檎に我慢が出来ず、万引きしようとする。
Easily caught, a clerk beats her mercilessly. あっさり見つかり、店員に手ひどく殴られる杏子。

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present 廃墟の教会・現在
Kyouko stares at the apple in her hand. 手にした林檎を見つめている杏子。
Kyouko: That's why my wish was that everyone would listen to my dad's words. 杏子「だから、キユウべえに頼んだんだよ。...みんなが親父の話を、真面目に聞いてくれますように、って」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Sayaka can't help but look surprised at the truth. 意外すぎる真相に、驚きを隠せないさやか。

Kyoko's Flashback

Kyouko's Flashback 杏子の回想
Abruptly, a giant congregation fills the church. いきなり大勢の信徒が列を成している教会。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) The next morning, his church was filled with people. The number of believers multiplied at a frightening rate each day... 杏子off「翌朝には、親父の教会は押しかけた人でごった返してた。毎日おっかなくなるほどの勢いで信者は増えてった」
City at night. Magical girl Kyoko is fighting valiantly against witches. 夜の街、颯爽と魔女たちを狩っている魔法少女スタイルの杏子。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) and I became yet another magical girl. 杏子off「あたしはあたしで、晴れて魔法少女の仲間入りさ」
Father preaches to the full congregation with renewed vigor. 満場の信徒を前にして、意気揚々と説教する杏子の父。
Kyoko: (Off Screen) No matter how good his sermons were, they wouldn't get rid of the witches. I thought that was where I came in, so I got all hyped up about it like an idiot, thinking we'd save the world together - from the light and from the shadows. 杏子off「いくら親父の説教が正しくたって、それで魔女が退治できるわけじゃない。だからそこはあたしの出番だって、パカみたいに意気込んでたよ。あたしと親父で、表と裏から、この世界を救うんだって...」

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present 廃墟の教会・現在
Kyouko takes a hard bite at her apple, grimace warily. ザク、と林檎を囓ってから、ニヒルに笑う杏子。
Kyouko: But one day my dad found out what was going on. 杏子「でもね、あるとき、ヵラクリが親父にばれた」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Kyouko: He completely lost it when he realized all his folowers were only there because of magic. He called me, his own daughter, a witch who sways the hearts of others. Oh, the irony. I mean, I was the one who'd been fighting the real witches every night. 杏子「大勢の信者が、ただ信仰のためじゃなく、魔法の力で集まってきたんだと知ったとき、親父はブチ切れたよ。娘のあたしを、人の心を惑わす魔女だって罵った。笑っちゃうよね。あたしは毎晩、本物の魔女と戦い続けてたってのに」

Kyouko's Flashback

Kyouko's Flashback 杏子の回想
Sakura Kitchen. Blood everywhere. 佐倉家のダイニングキッチン。飛び散った血痕。
Her father hangs from the ceiling, his feet dangling in the air. 首を吊った父の足先が宙で揺れている。
From the entrance, Kyouko watches the scene in horror. 部屋の入口で、それを呆然と眺めている杏子。
Kyouko: (Off Screen) That ruined my father. he met a pitiful end. He started binge drinking, lost his grip on reality, and wound up killing his family, then himself. 杏子off「それで親父は壊れちまった。最後は惨めだったよ。酒に溺れて、頭がイカして、とうとう家族道連れに無理心中さ。あたし一人を置き去リにして、れ。

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present 廃墟の教会・現在
Finished, Kyouko tosses the left-over apple core on the floor. 食べ終わった林檎の芯を、ぽいと床に放リ捨てる杏子。
Kyouko: My wish destroyed my entire family. 杏子「あたしの祈りが、家族を壊しちまったんだ」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
The truth leaves Sayaka searching for words. さやか、真相にショックを受けて返す言葉もない。
Kyouko: Because I made a wish for someone else without knowing what he really wants, I ruined many lives. That's when I swore to myself that I'd never use magic for others again. I'd use my powers only for myself. 杏子「他人の都合を知りもせず、勝手な願い事をしたせいで、けっきょく誰もが不幸になった。ーーそのとき心に誓ったんだよ。もう二度と、他人のために魔法を使ったりしない。この力は、すべて自分のためだけに使い切る、って」

Part B

See also: Episode 7B Final Draft

Abandoned Church - Present

Abandoned Church - Present 廃墟の教会・現在
Continuing from Part A. 【Aパート】より継続。
Sayaka turns to face Sayaka, speaking earnestly. 杏子はさやかの方へと向き直り、穏やかに語り聞かせる。
Kyoko: Miracles aren't free. If you wish for hope, an equal amount of despair is scattered across the world. It all cancels out to zero. That's how the balance of the world is maintained. 杏子「奇跡つてのはタダじゃないんだ。希望を祈れば、それと同じぷんだけの絶望が撒き散らされる。そうやって差し引きをゼロにして、世の中のバランスは成り立つてるんだよ」
Sayaka: ...Why are you telling me this? さやか「...なんでそんな話を、あたしに?」
Sayaka asks, keeping her gaze at the floor. 床を見つめたまま問うさやか。
Kyoko: ... 杏子「...」
Kyoko doesn't want Sayaka to see her embarrassment, falls silent. やや気恥ずかしいのを誤魔化すために、いったん黙る杏子。
Kyoko takes another apple out of the bag. 袋から新しい林檎を取り出す。
Kyoko: You shouldn't do anymore things that you'll regret. You've already paid too high a price for what you got. So now, start thinking about how to get your money's worth. 杏子「これ以上、後悔するような生き方を続けるべきじゃない。 あんたはもう、対価としては高すぎるモンを支払っちまってるんだ。だからさ、これからは釣り銭を取り戻すことを考えなよ」
Sayaka: ...Like you, huh? さやか「...あんたみたいに?」
Kyoko: That's right. 杏子「そうさ」
Kyoko's gaze shifts from the uneaten apple to Sayaka, motions her to take it. 杏子は手にした林檎に口をつけず、さやかを見つめている。もう一度、さやかにそれを受け取って欲しいと思っている。
Kyouko: You just need to stop worrying and do whatever you want. Live only for yourself. 杏子「あんたも開き直って、好き勝手にやればいい。自業自得の人生を、さ」
Realizing Kyoko mean well, Sayaka smiles. Still, she chooses to retort with a tinge of sarcasm. 杏子が完全な悪人ではないと理解し、微笑するさやか。少しだけ皮肉を込めて言い返す。
Sayaka: ...That doesn't add up. If you're only living for yourself, then why are you worried about me? さやか「...それって、変じゃない?あんたは自分のことだけ考えて生きてるはずなのに、どうしてあたしの心配なんかしてくれるわけ?」
Kyoko: ... 杏子「...」
Slightly disappointed, Kyouko chooses not to answer, focusing on the main topic instead. 鼻白むものの、杏子は言い返さない。あくまで真摯に本題を続ける。
Kyoko: We both started off with the same mistake... I've come to realize mine, but you haven't. I couldn't watch you go on like that. 杏子「あんたもあたしも、同じ間違いから始まった。...あたしはそれを弁えてるが、アンタは今も間違え続けてる。見てられないんだよ。そいつが」
Finally, Sayaka raises her head to stare right at Kyoko. さやか、ようやく向き直り、正面から杏子を見つめる。
Sayaka: I had the wrong idea about you. I'm sorry for that. I really am. さやか「あんたのこと、色々と誤解してた。そのことはごめん。謝るよ」
Kyoko: .... 杏子「...」
Kyoko is so happy that she almost smiles. However, Sayaka continues to speak soberly. むょっとだけ嬉しそうに微笑みそうになる杏子。だが、さやかは真顔で先を続ける。
Sayaka: But I don't regret having used my wish for someone else. I've decided never to regret my actions, so as not to cheapen the feelings I cherish. Never again. さやか「でもね、あたしは人のために祈ったことを、後悔してない。その気持ちを嘘にしないために、後悔だけはしないって決めたの。これからも」
Kyoko: Why don't you... 杏子「何でアンタは...」
"...understand?" But Sayaka interrupts Kyoko before she can finish. 分からないんだ?と言いたくなる杏子だが、さやかの言葉を遮れない。
Sayaka: I don't believe I paid too high a price. I can do wonderful things with this power, if I use it right. さやか「あたしはね、高すぎるものを支払ったなんて思ってない。この力は、使い方次第で、いくらでも素晴らしいモノにできるはずだから」
Kyoko: ... 杏子「...」
Sayaka: And what about you? さやか「それからさーー」
Sayaka turns her gaze from Kyoko, her tone stiffens. さやか、杏子から目を逸らし、やや口調を硬くして、
Sayaka: How did you get those apples? Where did you get the money to pay for them? さやか「あんた、その林檎はどうやって手に入れたの?お店で払ったお金はどうしたの?」
Kyoko: ... 杏子「...」
"Of course not legitimately," Kyoko hesitates to say. 当然、合法的ではないので言いよどむ杏子。
Sayaka: ... You can't tell me, can you? In that case, I can't eat them. I wouldn't even want one. さやか「...言えないんだね。ならあたし、その林檎は食べられない。もらっても嬉しくない」
Sayaka turns her back to Kyoko, ready to leave the church ruin. さやか、杏子に背を向けて、教会の廃墟を出て行こうとする。
No longer holding back, Kyoko cries toward Sayaka's silhouette. たまらず、その背中に向けて叫ぶ杏子。
Kyoko: You dumbass! We're magical girls! There's no one else like us! 杏子「パカヤロウ! あたしたち魔法少女だぞ! 他に同類なんていないんだぞ!」
Sayaka stops in her step, her head lowers, a sense of remorse. 足を止め、やや悔しそうに俯くさやか。
Sayaka: I will continue fight in my own way. If that interferes with your life, you're welcome to try and kill me again. I no longer bear you any ill will, but nor will I lose. さやか「あたしは、あたしのやり方で戦い続けるよ。それがあんたの邪魔になるなら、前みたいに殺しに来ればいい。あたしは負けないし、もう恨んだりもしないよ」
With those words, Sayaka leaves the church. そう言い残し、教会を出て行くさやか。
Kyoko clenches her teeth in anger. Disappointed, she takes another bite at the apple. 杏子、悔しさに歯噛みしつつ、八つ当たりのように林檎に噛みつく。

Morning - Road to School

Morning - Road to School 朝の通学路
Sayaka walks alone toward school. 一人、とぼとぼと歩いて登校途中のさやか。
Madoka and Hitomi catch up from behind. その後ろからまどかと仁美が追いつく。
Madoka: Good morning, Sayaka-chan! まどか「さやかちゃん、おはよ!」
Hitomi: Good morning, Sayaka-san. 仁美「おはようございます。さやかさん」
Sayaka: Good morning. さやか「ぁ、ああ。ーーおはよっ」
Sayaka replies, acting her usual self. 普段の元気を取り繕って、挨拶を返すさやか。
Madoka sees through the empty act and feels a slight worry. その空元気を見透かして、少しだけ心配になるまどか。
Hitomi: What happened yesterday? 仁美「昨日はどうかしたんですの?」
Sayaka: I was feeling a little unwell. さやか「ん~、ちょっとばかり風邪っぽくてね」
Madoka: Sayaka-chan... まどか「さやかちゃん...」
Are you alright? Before Madoka can speak, Sayaka preempts her. 大丈夫? と言いかけるまどかに、念話で先回りするさやか。
Sayaka: It's okay. I'm fine now. Don't worry about me. さやか『大丈夫だよ。もう平気。心配いらないから』
Madoka: .... まどか「...」
Sayaka: Anyways, let's get—— さやか「さーて、今日も張り切ってーー」
Sayaka freezes before she finished. She spots Kyousuke on the way to school, clutches in hand. 言いかけるさやかだが、松葉杖をつきながら登校途中の恭介の姿を見つけ、思わず硬直する。
Hitomi: My, has Kamijou-kun been released from the hospital? 仁美「あら...上条くん、退院なさったんですの?」
Hitomi looks surprised. 驚く仁美。
Kyousuke cheerfully greets his classmate as he struggles along in his crutches. 恭介は杖での歩行に苦労しつつも、行き合うクラスメイトたちと朗らかに挨拶を交わしている。
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Watching this, Sayaka looks more awkward than happy. This troubles Madoka even further. 喜びよりも気まずさが先に立っさやかの表情。それを見咎めたまどかの顔も、やや曇る。

School - Classroom

School - Classroom 学校・教室
Classmates rowdy before homeroom starts. HR前の賑わい。
After a long absence, Kyousuke's classmates surround his desk. 久々に登校してきた恭介の机の周りに、クラスメイトたちが集まっている。
Nakazawa: Kamijou, are you okay to come to school? 中沢「上条...もう怪我はいいのかよ?」
Kyousuke: Yeah. It wouldn't be rehab if I was cooped up in my home all day. My goal is to walk without crutches by next week. 恭介「ああ。家に籠もってたんじゃリハビリにならないしね。 来週までに松葉杖なしで歩くのが目標なんだ」
Everyone are taking their turn to talk to Kyousuke. Sayaka tries to ignore the commotion by looking elsewhere. Madoka and Hitomi sit beside her. そんな恭介を巡る話の輪に、さやかは気後れして入っていけず、遠巻きに眺めている。隣にはまどかと仁美。
Madoka: I'm glad Kamijou-kun's doing well. まどか「良かったね、上条くん」
Sayaka: Yeah... さやか「うん...」
Madoka: Sayaka-chan, go say hi. You haven't said anything to her yet, right? まどか「さやかちゃんも、行ってきなよ。まだ声かけてないんでしょう?」
Sayaka: I'm... okay for now. さやか「あたしは...いいよ」
Hitomi: .... 仁美「...」
Madoka gets worried, knowing Sayaka is not her usual self. 普段と違って元気のないさやかが、心配になるまどか。
Hitomi stares at Sayaka, pondering something. 仁美は仁美で、そんなさやかを見つめながら、何やら考え込んでいる。

Fast Food Restaurant

Fast Food Restaurant ファーストフード店
A detour after school. Sayaka and Hitomi sit across from each other. The mood feels tense. 放課後の寄り道。仁美とさやかが差し向かいに座っている。そこはかとなく緊張した空気。
Sayaka: So, what did you want to talk about? さやか「...それで、話って、なに?」
Hitomi: I need some relationship advice. 仁美「恋の、相談ですわ」
Hitomi speaks with hesitation. The tension troubles Sayaka. 思い詰めた風に告げる仁美。つられて緊張の面持ちのさやか。
Hitomi: I've been keeping something from you and Madoka-san for a while now. 仁美「私ね、前からさやかさんやまどかさんに秘密にしてきたことがあるんですの」
Sayaka: Huh? O-Okay... さやか「え?うん...」
Hitomi: I've... been attracted to Kamijou Kyousuke for some time now. 仁美「ずっと前から...私、上条恭介くんのことお慕いしてましたのよ」
Sayaka's eyes widens with surprise. 衝撃を受けて日を見張るさやか。
Sayaka: I-I see. さやか「そ、そうなんだ...」
Sayaka attempts to calm her shaking heart, but she's failing. ともかく動揺を押し隠そうとするさやかだが、上手くいかない。
Sayaka: I never would've expected that from you, Hitomi. Kyousuke sure is a lucky guy- さやか「あ、ハハ...まさか仁美がねえ。な~んだ、恭介のヤツも隅に置けないなあ」
Hitomi reads Sayaka like a book. She stays serious. すべて見透かしている仁美は真顔のまま。
Hitomi: You've known him for a long time, haven't you? 仁美「さやかさんは、上条くんとは幼馴染みでしたわね」
Sayka: Yeah, but we're just old acquaintances, I guess. さやか「んん、まあ、その...腐れ縁っていうか、何ていうか...」
Hitomi: Is that really all? 仁美「本当に、それだけ?」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
No point in hiding anymore, Sayaka swallows. 言い繕えなくなり、生唾を呑むさやか。
Hitomi: I've decided that I won't lie to myself anymore. What about you? Sayaka-san, can you accept your true feelings? 仁美「私、決めたんですの。もう自分に嘘はつかないって。あなたはどうですか?さやかさん、あなた自身の本当の気持ちと向き合えますか?」
Sayaka: Wh-what are you talking about? さやか「な...何の話をしてるのさ...」
Hitomi: You're a precious friend to me. So I don't want to steal him from you or try to court him behind your back. 仁美「あなたは、私の大切なお友達ですわ。...だから抜け駆けも、横取りするようなこともしたくないんですの」
The brazen declaration from the normally easygoing Hitomi leaves Sayaka speechless. 毅然と言い放つ仁美に気圧されて、声も山せないさやか。
Hitomi: You've spent far more time with him than I have. That's why you should have the right to go after him first. 仁美「上条くんのことを見つめていた時間は、私より、さやかさんの方が上ですわ。だからあなたには私の先を越す権利があるべきです」
Sayaka: Hitomi... さやか「仁美...」
Hitomi: I will confess my love to Kamijou-kun after school tomorrow. You have one whole day. Please decide on a course of action that you won't regret. Decide whether or not you'll tell him how you feel. 仁美「私、明日の放課後に上条くんに告白します。丸一日だけお待ちしますわ。その問に...さやかさんは後悔なさらないよう、決めて下さい。上条くんに気持ちを伝えるべきかどうか」
Sayaka: I-I... さやか「ぁ、あたしは...」
Hitomi stands up, bows, and leaves. 仁美は席を立ち、さやかに一礼して去っていく。

Sayaka Room

Sayaka Room さやかの部屋
Night. All the lights in the room off but the desk lamp. Sayaka rests her head on her desk. 夜、部屋の明かりを務とし、勉強机のスタンドだけを点して、椅子にかけたまま俯いているさやか。
Her soul gem sits on the table. It shines as if beckoning. 机の上には、彼女を催促するかのように輝いているソウルジエム。
Kyubey sits in a corner in the darkness behind Sayaka. It speaks. 暗い部屋の片隅に座ったキユウべえが、さやかの背中に戸をかける。
Kyubey: What about tonight? キュゥベえ「今夜は、どうするんだい?」
Sayaka: ... I get it. I'm going. さやか「...分かってるわよ。そろそろ行くから」
Sayaka picks up her soul gem and stands up. さやか、ソルジエムを掴み取って立ち上がる。

Miki Family Apartment - Entrance

Miki Family Apartment - Entrance 美樹家のアパートの前
Sayaka quietly sneaks out for another witch hunt. Kyubey follows behind. 悄然としながらも、魔女探しのために外に出てくるさやか。その後に続くキユウベえ。
Madoka waits under the streetlight, as she had in Episode 5. すると五話のときと同様に、まどかが街灯の下で待っている。
Sayaka is shocked to find her there. それに気付いて、やや驚くさやか。
Sayaka: Madoka... さやか「まどか...」
Madoka: Can I come with you? まどか「ついてって、いいかな?」
Sayaka: ... さやか「...」
Sayaka has forsaken everything, especially her self-worth. Madoka's kindness just adds to her burden. 全てに見捨てられたかのような気分で、自分の価値を見失いつつあるさやかは、まどかの優しさに戸惑うしかない。
Madoka: I don't want you to be all on your own.... まどか「さやかちゃんに、独りぼっちになってほしくないの。だから...」
Madoka stumbles for words as tears pour from Sayaka's eyes. 上手く言えないまどか。だがさやかの目から涙が溢れ出る。
Sayaka: Why are you... Why are you so kind to me? I don't deserve it... さやか「あんた、何で...何でそんなに、優しいかなあ...あたしには、そんな価値なんてないのに...」
Madoka: That's not true. まどか「そんなーー」
Sayaka cries incessantly, full of regret. とめどなく泣くさやか。自責の念に歯止めが利かない。
Sayaka: Today, I almost regretted what I'd done. さやか「あたしね、今日、後悔しそうになっちゃった」
Madoka: ... まどか「...」
Sayaka: For just a moment, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't saved Hitomi.... Some hero I turned out to be, Mami-san would be ashamed to have known me... さやか「あのとき仁美を助けなければって...ほんの一瞬だけ、思っちゃった...正義の味方、失格だよ...:マミさんに、顔向けできない...」
Madoka can't bear to see this anymore. She hugs Sayaka tightly. 見ていられなくなって、さやかを抱きしめるまどか。
Sayaka: I'm going to lose Kyousuke to Hitomi...! And there's nothing I can do about it...! さやか「仁美に、恭介を取られちゃうよ...でもあたし、何もできない...」
Sayaka cries in Madoka's arms. まどかの腕の中で、泣きじゃくるさやか。
Sayaka: I'm already dead! I am a zombie...! How can I ask him to hold this dead body...? How can I ask him to kiss my cold lips...? さやか「だってあたし、もう死んでるんだもん、ゾンピだもん...こんな身体で、抱きしめてなんて言えない...キスしてなんて、言えない...」
Madoka: ... まどか「...ツ」
Madoka start crying too, unable to say anything in reassurance. まどかも釣られて泣きながら、それでも慰めの言葉ひとつ言えない。
In tears, they remain in embrace for some time. 二人はしばしの間、抱き合ったまま、ただ涙を流し続ける。
x x x × × ×
After a while, Sayaka finally stops weeping. She pulls herself from Madoka. ややあって、ようやく泣きやむさやか。まどかの腕の中から身を離す。
Sayaka: Thank you... I'm sorry. さやか「...ありがと。ごめんね」
Madoka: Sayaka-chan... まどか「さやかちゃん...」
Sayaka: I'm fine now. I feel better. さやか「もう大丈夫。すっきりしたから」
Sayaka wipes her tears away, forcing a smile. 涙を拭ぃ、気丈に微笑むさやか。
Sayaka: Anyways, let's go. Those witches aren't gonna slay themselves. さやか「さあ、行こ。今夜も魔女をやっつけないと」
Madoka: ... Right. まどか「...うん」

Warehouse District

Warehouse District 倉庫街
Between stacks of deserted containers, a dim light hints of a witch's barrier. 誰もいないコンテナの谷間に、魔女の結界を示す空間のゆらぎがある。
As if to imply a fierce battle, faint bolts of light leaks from the barrier with regularity. 結界内の激しい戦いを暗示するかのように、時折、小さな放電が散っている。
Kyoko perches on an overhanging crane, observing the situation. Gloomy but expressionless, she munches a ice candy. その様子を、頭上に聳えるクレーンの上に腰掛けて眺めている杏子。暗鬱な無表情のまま、アイスキャンデーを食べている。
Homura suddenly appears behind Kyoko. さらにそこにほむらが姿を現し、杏子の背後に立つ。
Homura: I'm surprised you're just sitting here watching. ほむら「黙って見てるだけだなんて、意外だわ」
Kyoko: ...She's fighting a witch today, not a familiar. It'll drop a grief seed. It's not a pointless hunt. 杏子「...今日のあいつは使い魔じゃなくて魔女と戦ってる。ちゃんとグリーフシードも落とすだろ。無駄な狩りじゃないよ」
Homura: And you'd let her take your prey for that, huh? ほむら「そんな理由で、あなたが獲物を譲るなんてね」
Kyoko: ... 杏子「...」
Before Kyoko can retort, the barrier distorts abruptly. It begins to pulse intensely. Kyoko smacks her lips. 杏子が言い返そうとしたとき、結界の歪みが、ひときわ激しく脈動する。舌打ちする杏子。
Kyoko: Damn, that idiot. She's having trouble. 杏子「あの馬鹿、手こずりゃがって...」

Barrier - Inside

Barrier - Inside 結界内部
Sayaka and the witch are locked in heavy combat. Madoka and Kyubey watch from behind. 魔女と熾烈な戦いを演じているさやか。その後ろで見守っているまどかとキユウベえ。
Far stronger than a mere familiar, Sayaka has engaged this witch for a long time. She's struggling. Madoka watches on the side with unease. 使い魔よりはるかに強力な魔女との戦いは久々で、さやかは苦戦を強いられる。見守るまどかも気が気ではない。
Sayaka: Damn... さやか「くッ...」
Sayaka finally succumbs to the constant barrage. She kneels, unable to guard a killing blow from the witch. さやか、ついに強力な攻撃を立て続けに食らい、膝をつく。無防備なその隙に、とどめの一撃を浴びせようとする魔女。
Madoka: Sayaka-chan! Watch out...! まどか「さやかちゃん、危ない...!」
Kyoko intervenes suddenly. An explosion. The witch is blown away. だがそこに、横合いから割リ込んだ杏子の一撃が炸裂する。吹き飛ばされる魔女。
Kyoko: Goddamnit. I couldn't just sit there any longer. 杏子「まったく...見てらんねーつつーの」
Kyoko grunts, ice candy dangles from her mouth. アイスキャンデーを咥えたまま、鼻を鳴らす杏子。
Kyoko: Just stay back for now. I'll show you how it's done. 杏子「いいからもう、すっこんでなよ。手本を見せてやるからさ...」
With Sayaka safely behind her, Kyoko raises her spear for battle. さやかを背後に庇ったまま、槍を構える杏子。
Instead, Sayaka stands back up and walk in front of Kyoko. だが立ち上がったさやかは、ゆっくりと杏子を押しのけて前に出る。
Kyoko: Hey--! 杏子「おいーー」
Sayaka: Don't get in my way. I can do it myself. さやか「邪魔しないで。一人でやれるわ」
The witch strikes once more. Sayaka simply ignores the attack and charges directly at it. 再び攻撃を仕掛けてくる魔女。だがさやかは避けようともせず真っ向から無防備に突進する。
The two sides meet. Sayaka's sword pierces the witch, but she receives a heavy blow in exchange. 両者、相打ち。さやかの剣は魔女を扶るが、彼女もまた大ダメージを受ける。
Madoka: Sayaka-chan! まどか「さやかちゃん!?」
Madoka cries. 悲鳴を上げるまどか。
Yet, only the witch wretches in pain. With complete disregard to her injuries, Sayaka begins laughing. だが魔女が苦悶に身を捩る一方で、さやかの方は傷など意に介さず笑っている。
Sayaka: Haha... ahaha... さやか「はは...あはは...」
Kyoko: Don't tell me you... 杏子「アン夕、まさか...」
Kyoko is astonished. 息を呑む杏子。
The witch retaliates in desperation, but Sayaka refuses to parry. She lunges forward, sword-first. 魔女、苦し紛れの反撃。今度もまたそれを避けず、クロスカウンターの剣撃を叩き込むさやか。
Her body now too horrifying to look at, yet Sayaka laughs maniacally. 見るも無惨なほど血にまみれながら、それでもカラカラと笑っているさやか。
Sayaka: Ahaha, it's true...! If I just detach myself... it doesn't hurt at all! さやか「あははっ、本当だあ...その気になれば、痛みなんて...完全に消しちゃ、えるんだあ...」
Sayaka continues to hack away at the witch as she laughs. With wanton disregard to all counterattacks, Sayaka focuses only on striking her opponent. 笑いながら魔女に追い打ちをかけるさやか。どんな反撃を食らおうとお構いなしに、ただ相手を切り刻むことにのみ専念する。
The gruesome scene leaves Kyoko breathless. あまりにも無惨な光景に、ただ言葉もなく息を呑む杏子。
Madoka averts her eyes, can longer bear to watch anymore. まどかは正視できずに目を逸らす。
Madoka: Stop... please stop... まどか「やめて...もう、やめて...」
But Madoka's words no longer reach Sayaka. Her sword swinging, a maniac smile on her face, her frenzy sounds like a strange wail. まどかの声など耳に届かず、笑いながら剣を振り続けるさやか。その狂おしい声は泣いているようにさえ聞こえる。

Episode 7 - Draft 0 Investigation

Toggle original text:
The opening sequence where Kyubey explained, "I simply give your soul physical form;"

the conversation between the troubled Madoka and cold Homura, "If she stop using magic, she doesn't need to find more Grief Seeds; she doesn't have to keep fighting Witches, right?... Just maintaining the body consumes a minimum amount of magic. So grief seeds are still a necessity."

These lines regarding the grief seed were all cut.

Gen That's right. During revision, I tried to avoid cutting Kyoko's lines, so I end up cutting expositions like these instead. My goal was to cut what the audience may find uninteresting. Once I had a handle of what's important, editing became much easier.
As result of these trade-offs, Kyoko became the heroine for this arc?
Gen Yes. Mami was before Episode 3; Sayaka until Episode 6; Kyoko up to Episode 9; and the final arc for Homura. This was in the original outline. That said, if we consider Kyoko as Sayaka's mirror image, then Sayaka's story is told simultaneously with Kyoko's. Never the less, I was surprised by Kyoko's enormous popularity. This must be the result of Ai Nonaka's (Kyoko's VA) wonderful work. She managed to convey a "actually a good girl" image by diligently paint the emotions of a false villain. Originally, I assumed a stereotypical bad girl voice would be sufficient, so Director Shinbo's choice of Ai-san was a surprise to me. Yet, she was a perfect fit.



Episode 10: I won't Depend on Anyone Anymore

Toggle original text:

The story returns to the past. Recently transferred, Homura becomes acquainted with her new classmate, Madoka. Madoka rescues Homura from a Witch attack and reveals the world of magical girls to her.

Some time later, the Walpurgisnacht arrives at the city. As the only remaining magical girl, Madoka faces the Walpurgisnacht alone. She dies in defeat before Homura. In her desperation, Homura contracts with Kyubey to returns to the past and teams up with Madoka to fight the Walpurgisnacht once more.

Homura matures as a magical girl, but she is unable to save Madoka from the Walpurgisnacht. Homura goes back in time, again and again, in attempt to save Madoka. Suffering through endless failures and despairs, but Homura refuses to give up.

"I'll relive the same time over and over, searching for a way out. I'll find the one path that will save you from your fate of boundless despair... If it's for you, I don't mind being trapped in this endless maze for all of eternity!"

Thus, Homura becomes a time traveler.






Part A

See also: Episode 10A Final Draft

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past) 朝の教室(平行世界・過去)
Morning class, Homura's first day at the new school. Homura stands before the blackboard, center of the class' attention. She wears a pair of glasses and twin braids. A nervous, fidgeting, and frail girl. ほむら転校初日の朝HR。クラスの全生徒の視線を一身に浴びながら、黒板の前に立たされているほむら。眼鏡に三つ編みの冴えない格好。必要以上に緊張し、萎縮してしまっている、見るからに気弱そうな少女である。
Saotome: Why don't you tell the class your name? 和子「はーぃ、それじゃ自己紹介いってみよー」
Homura: Umm... I-I'm A-Akemi H-Homura... I, uh... I-It's nice to meet all of you. ほむら「あ、あの、あああ暁美、ほ、ほむら、です。その...どうか、よよよろしくお願いします」
Saotome writes Homura on the blackboard. 黒板にほむらの名前を書く和子。
Saotome: Akemi-san's been in the hospital for some time due to a heart condition. She hasn't been to school in quite a while, so I'm sure she'll run into a lot of difficulties. Make sure you all help her out, okay? 和子「暁美さんは心臓の病気でずっと入院していたの。久しぶりの学校だから色々と戸惑うことも多いでしょう。みんな、助けてあげてね」
x x x × × ×
Recess. Homura's desk is surrounded by girls. They question her with curiosity. 休み時間、ほむらの席に抑しかけて興味津々に質問をしてくる女子たち。
Girl A: Which school did you come from? 女子A「暁美さんつて、前はどこの学校だったの?」
Girl B: Were you in any clubs? Like sports, or art? 女子B「前は部活とかやってた?運動系?文化系?」
Girl C: Your hair's really long. It must be tough braiding it every morning. 女子C「すごい長い髪だよねー。毎朝編むの、大変じゃない?」
Homura: I, uh... ほむら「あの...ゎ、私、その...」
The meek Glasses-Homura turns even more timid. 気弱な眼鏡ほむら、気圧されてたじたじになっている。
Madoka comes in to interject. そこに割リ込んでくるまどか。
Madoka: Akemi-san, you need to go to the nurse's office, right? Do you know where it is? まどか「暁美さん、保健室行かなきゃいけないんでしょ? 場所、分かる?」
Homura: Huh? No... ほむら「え?いいえ...」
Madoka: I'll take you there, then. I'm the health officer for this class. --Sorry, everyone, but Akemi-san has to go to the nurse's office during recess to take her medicine. まどか「じゃあ案内してあげる。わたし保健委員なんだ。ーーみんな、ごめんね。暁美さんつて休み時間には保健室でお薬飲まないといけないの」
Girl A: Oh, really? Sorry for keeping you. 女子A「あ、そうだつたの?ごめんね、引き留めちゃって」
Girl B: Talk to you later, Akemi-san. 女子B「暁美さん、また後でね」
Convinced by Madoka's friendiness, the girls back down. まどかの気さくな取りなしで、あっさり納得して引き下がる女子たち。
Free from all the attention, Homura feels relieved. 皆の好奇心から開放されて、やや安堵するほむら。


Hallway 廊下
Madoka leads the way. Glasses-Homura follows timidly behind. 先に立って案内するまどか。後からおっかなびっくりついてくる眼鏡ほむら。
Madoka: Sorry about that. They don't mean any harm... They're just excited because we don't get many transfer students. まどか「ごめんね。みんな悪気はないんだけど...転校生なんて珍しいから、はしゃいじゃって」
Homura: No, it's okay... Thank you very much. ほむら「いえ、その...ありがとうございます」
Madoka: Hey, don't be so nervous. We're classmates, after all. まどか「そんな緊張しなくていいよ。クラスメイトなんだから」
Madoka smiles gently to reassure Homura. 優しい笑顔で、ほむらを和ませるまどか。
Madoka: My name is Kaname Madoka. Call me Madoka. まどか「あたし、鹿目まどか。まどかつて呼んで」
Homura: I... ほむら「え、そんな...」
Madoka: It's fine, really. Do you mind if I call you Homura-chan? まどか「いいって。だからわたしも、ほむらちゃんって呼んでいいかな?」
Homura: ... ほむら「...」
Homura fidgets, nervous, unable to gauge how close she should be with Madoka. まどかとの距離を測りかねて、もじもじする眼鏡ほむら。
Homura: ... People don't call me by my first name very often... It's a really weird name. ほむら「...私、その、あんまり名前で呼ばれたことってなくて...すごく、変な名前だし」
Madoka: What? That's not true. It feels really exciting and cool. まどか「え~?そんなことないよ。なんかさ、燃え上がれ~って感じで。かっこいいと思うな」
Homura: ... I guess I don't live up to my own name. ほむら「...名前負け、してます」
Madoka: You shouldn't say that! You already have such a wonderful name. You should be cool to match it! まどか「そんなの、勿体ないよぉ。せっかく素敵な名前なんだから、ほむらちゃんもカツコよくなっちゃえばいいんだよ」
Homura: ... ほむら「...」
Madoka laughs, perfectly innoncent. Glasses-Homura looks downcast and embarrassed. 無邪気に笑うまどかに、つい気後れして俯いてしまう眼鏡ほむら。

Math Class

Math Class 数学の授業
Glasses-Homura stands before the blackboard to solve a problem. Completely confounded, she's covered in cold sweat. The Math teacher watches awkwardly. 黒板に書かれた問題を前にして、まったく解けず、冷や汗まみれになる眼鏡ほむら。数学教諭、気まずい表情で、
Math Teacher: Oh, you've been away from school, haven't you? Why don't you ask a friend to let you copy their notes? 数学教諭「あー、うん。君は休学してたんだっけな。友達からノートを借リておくように」

PE Class

PE Class 体育の授業
Glasses-Homura sits at a corner of the field, her complexion pale, watching her classmates happily compete at long jump. グラウンドの片隅に青ざめた顔で座っている眼鏡ほむら。皆が元気に走り幅跳びのスコアを競うのを、見学している。
The girls gossip noisily as they look over to Homura. そんなほむらを見てヒソヒソと雑談する女子たち。
Girl C: She got light-headed just from doing warm-ups? That's pretty bad. 女子C「準備体操だけで貧血って、ヤパイよね~」
Girl B: She's been bedridden for half a year. It's no surprise. 女子B「半年もずっと寝てたんじゃ、仕方ないんじゃない?」

After School - The Road Home

After School - The Road Home 放課後の通学路
Under the setting sun, Glasses-Homura walks home alone, dejected. Self-loathing and inferiority fill her mind. 夕焼けの中一、一人、肩を落として家路につく眼鏡ほむら。自己嫌悪と劣等感で憂鬱顔。
Madoka's words come back to her. 脳裏を過ぎるまどかの言葉。
Madoka: (Voice Over) --You should be cool to match it! まどかM 『ーーほむらちゃんもカツコよくなっちゃえばいいんだよーー』
Homura: I can't do that. I'm not good at anything. ほむら「無理だよ...私、何にもできない...」
Focusing only at her feet, Glass-Homura is completely oblivious to her surroundings, her mind lost in thought. 足下だけを見つめて、周囲には注意を払わず、内省に没頭する眼鏡ほむら。
Homura: (Voice Over) All I ever do is make trouble for others and embarrass myself... Why? Will I always be like this... forever? ほむらM『人に迷惑ばっかりかけて、恥かいて...どうしてなの?私、これからもずっとこのままなの?』
From within her dejected mind, an evil voice whispers. 落ち込むほむらの脳裏に、心の奥から邪悪な声が囁きかけてくる。
Witch: (Voice Over) It'd be better if you just die right now, wouldn't it? 魔女M『だったらいっそ、死んだ方がいいよね』
Homura: (Voice Over) Maybe it would... ほむらM『死んだ方がいいかな...』
Witch: (Voice Over) Yeah. You should just die right now. 魔女M『そう、死んじゃ、えばいいんだよ』
Homura: (Voice Over) I should just die... ほむらM『死んでしまえば...』
Returning to her senses, Glasses-Homura suddenly realizes the changes to her surroundings. 眼鏡ほむら、ふと我に返り、周囲の景色が豹変しているのに気付く。
She was on a sunlit road home, but now she has stumbled into a witch's barrier. 夕陽に照らされた帰リ道のはずが、いつの間にか彼女は魔女の結界に迷い込んでいる。
Homura: Wh-Where... am I? ほむら「ど、何処なの?ここ...」
A witch's silhouette rushes toward the frightened Glasses-Homura from the darkness. 怯える眼鏡ほむらの前に、結界の奥の暗闇から躙リ寄ってくる魔女のシルエット。
Homura: What? What is that?! NO! ほむら「な...何? 何なの!?」
A shining beam of light stops the witch, just before she reached Glasses-Homura. 眼鏡ほむらに襲いかかろうとした魔女の行く手を、輝く線が阻む。
A magic circle expands out from Homura. The witch stops at her track, clearly agitated. ほむらを中心にして展開されている魔法陣。狼狽えて足踏みする魔女。
Mami: ——That was a close one. マミ「ーー間一髪ってところね」
Madoka: It's okay now, Homura-chan! まどか「もう大丈夫だよ。ほむらちゃん」
Mami and Madoka stands before Glasses-Homura to protect her. 眼鏡ほむらを庇うようにして、魔女の前に立ちはだかるまどかと巴マミ。
Homura: Yo-you're... ほむら「ぁ、あなたたちは...」
Kyubey appears by the feet of the confused Glasses-Homura. 当惑する眼鏡ほむらの脚もとに、キユウベえが現れる。
Kyubey: They're magical girls. They hunt witches. キユゥべぇ「彼女たちは、魔法少女。魔女を狩る者たちさ」
Madoka: Our secret didn't last very long, huh? Don't tell anyone else in class, okay? まどか「いきなり秘密がばれちゃったね。クラスのみんなには、内緒だよ」
Madoka and Mami transform, tag-teaming the witch. まどか、マミ、同時に魔法少女スタイルに変身。タッグを組んで魔女に襲いかかる。
Witch: Gahhhhhh.... 魔女「ギャアアアアア...」
Quickly defeated, the witch disappears. 瞬く間に倒され、消滅していく魔女。
The dazzling display is mesmerizing to Homura. その鮮烈な光景に、心奪われるほむら。

Mami Room

Mami Room マミの部屋
Mami, Madoka, and Kyubey are having a tea party to celebrate a successful witch hunt. 魔女退治成功の祝杯とばかりお茶会をしているマミ、まどか、キュゥべぇ。
Rescued, Homura is invited as well. Homura sits, overwhelmed and awkward, looking at an uneaten slice of chiffon cake before her. 窮地を救われた眼鏡ほむらも招待され、シフォンケーキを振る舞われているものの、未だに面食らって萎縮している。
Homura: Kaname-san... Do you always fight those things? ほむら「鹿目さん...いつもあんなのと戦ってるんですか?」
Mami: Always...? Well, Mami-san's the veteran here. I actually just made my contract with Kyubey last week. まどか「んー、いつもって...そりゃマミさんはベテランだけど、わたしなんて先週キユウベえと契約したばっかりだし」
Mami: But your performance today was a big improvement over before, Kaname-san. マミ「でも今日の戦い方、最初よりずっと上手かったわよ。鹿目さん」
Madoka smiles, embarrassed by the compliment. マミに褒められ、えへへ、と照れるまどか。
Curious, Glasses-Homura asks Madoka again. 眼鏡ほむらは不思議そうに、再びまどかに向けて問う。
Homura: ...Isn't t dangerous? You're not scared? ほむら「...平気なんですか?恐くないんですか?」
Madoka: Well, it certainly is dangerous, and we do get scared. But the more witches we defeat, the more people we can save. So it's worth it, right? まどか「平気ってことはないし、恐かったりもするけれど、魔女をやっつければそれだけ大勢の人が助かるわけだし。やり甲斐はあるよね」
Homura: .... ほむら「...」
Glasses-Homura watches Madoka with adoration. そう語るまどかを、羨望の眼差しで見つめる眼鏡ほむら。
Mami: We need Kaname-san to become a full-fledged magical girl before the Walpurgisnacht gets here. マミ「鹿目さんには、ワルプルギスの夜が来る前に、頑張って一人前になっておいてもらわないとね」

A City Ablaze

A City Ablaze 燃えさかる市街地
The city falls under the Walpurgisnacht's wrath. A fire rages. ワルプルギスの襲取を受け、炎に包まれた街の中。
Madoka kneels next to Mami's body, who has fallen in battle. Madoka prays silently, holding her hands in her bosom. Glasses-Homura behind her, watches in tears. 戦って死んだマミの遺骸に、胸元で手を組ませ、沈鯵に黙祷するまどか。その背中を泣きながら見守る眼鏡ほむら。
Beyond them, the monstrous Walpurgisnacht continues to unleash wanton destruction. その向こうでは、巨大怪獄ワルプルギスが今なお破壊の限りを尽くしている。
Madoka stands, she gazes at the Walpurgisnacht with grim determination. 立ち上がり、悲壮な決意を秘めた眼差しでワルプルギスを見据えるまどか。
Madoka: ... I'll be going, then. まどか「...じゃあ、行ってくるね」
Homura: But... but Tomoe-san just died... ほむら「そんな、巴さん、死んじゃったのに...」
Madoka: That's why I have to go. I'm the only one left who can stop the Walpurgisnacht. まどか「だからだよ。もう『ワルプルギスの夜』を止められるのは、わたしだけしかいないから」
Homura: But it's impossible! Nobody can fight that thing alone! You'll die too, Kaname-san! ほむら「無理よ! 一人だけであんなのに勝てっこない!鹿目さんまで死んじゃうよ!」
Madoka: I'm still a magical girl. I have to protect everyone. まどか「それでも、わたしは魔法少女だから。みんなのこと守らなきゃいけないから」
Homura: Please... let's just run away. There's nothing else we can do. No one would ever blame you... ほむら「...ねえ、逃げようよ...だって仕方ないよ。誰も鹿目さんを恨んだりしないよ...」
Madoka has already made up her mind. She calmly says to Glasses-Homura. 死を決意した静かな表情で、眼鏡ほむらを諭すまどか。
Madoka: Homura-chan, I'm really glad we became friends. Even now, the fact that we made it in time to save you from that witch... is one of my proudest accomplishments. So I'm glad I became a magical girl. I don't regret it at all. まどか「ほむらちゃん、わたしね、あなたと友達になれて嬉しかった。あなたが魔女に襲われたとき、間に合って...今でもそれが自慢なの。だから魔法少女になって本当に良かったって、そう思ってるんだ」
Homura: ...Kaname-san... ほむら「...鹿目、さん...」
Madoka: Goodbye, Homura-chan. Take care of yourself. まどか「さよなら、ほむらちゃん。元気でね」
Madoka transforms, dashing towards the Walpurgisnacht. 変身し、ワルプルギスの夜めがけて突進していくまどか。
Homura: No! Don't go, Kaname-san! ほむら「...嫌あ!行かないで!鹿目さあん!!」

The City in Ruins

The City in Ruins 廃墟の街
The city has been remade into concrete rubble by the Walpurgisnacht. Rain pours. ワルプルギスによって破壊され尽くし、瓦礫の山と化した街に、しんしんと雨が降り注ぐ。
Madoka's mangled corpse lies between some rubble. 廃墟の中に転がっている、無惨な遺体と化したまどか。
Glasses-Homura kneels before her body, wailing in the rain. その前に膝をつき、雨に打たれながら号泣する眼鏡ほむら。
Homura: Why... You knew you were going to die. I wish you could have lived... instead of saving someone like me... ほむら「どうして...死んじゃうって分かってたのに...私なんか助けるよりも...あなたに生きててほしかったのに...」
Kyubey: Do you truly mean those words, Akemi Homura? キユウベえ「その言葉は本当かい?暁美ほむら」
Kyubey sits above a heap of debris, overlooking the sobbing glass-Homura. 瓦礫の山の頂に座って、泣きじゃくる眼鏡ほむらを見下ろしているキュゥベぇ。
Kyubey: Would you be willing to bet your soul on that wish? If there's something you want badly enough to commit yourself to a life of battle, then... I can be of help to you. キュゥべぇ「君のその祈りのために、魂を賭けられるかい?戦いのさだめを受け入れてまで、叶えたい望みがあるのならーー僕が力になってあげられるよ」
Glass-Homura turns her tear-soaked eyes towards Kyubey. 泣き濡れた目で、キュゥべえを見上げる眼鏡ほむら。
Homura: ...If I make a contract with you, you can really grant any wish I want? ほむら「...あなたと契約すれば、どんな願いも叶えられるの?」
Kyubey: That's correct. It seems that you qualify. キユウベえ「そうとも。君にはその資格がありそうだ。ーー教えてごらん。君はどんな祈りでソウルジエムを輝かせるのかい?」
Homura: I... ほむら「私はーー」
Homura removes her glasses to wipe her tears away. She stands with determination. 眼鏡を外して涙を拭い、決意の面持ちで立ち上がるほむら。
Homura: ... I want to redo my first encounter with Kaname-san. But this time, instead of her protecting me, I want to become strong enough to protect her! ほむら「ーー鹿目さんとの出会いを、やり直したい。彼女に守られる私じゃなくて、彼女を守る私になりたい」
Immediately, an immense, paralyzing pain spreads throughout her body. 直後、痛みに似た衝撃に身を強張らせるほむら。
A soul gem floats out from within Homura's chest, brilliantly shining. ほむらの胸から、眩い輝きとともに浮かび上がるソウルジエム。
Kyubey: ——The contract has been made. You wish has prevailed over entropy. Now, release your new power! キユウベえ「ーー契約は成立だ。君の祈りはエントロピーを凌駕した。さあ、解き放ってごらん。その新しいカを」
Homura: ... ほむら「...」
Homura gingerly grabs the soul gem floating before her. 宙に浮かぶ自らのソウルジェムを、恐る恐る掴み取るほむら。
Then, time reverts to the past. その途端、時間が逆行して過去へと遡る。

Night - Hospital

Night - Hospital 夜の病院
Homura wakes up startled in a hospital bed. 病室のベッドの中で、はっと目覚めるほむら。
Homura: ...Where am I?... ほむら「...ここは...」
The hospital room she once called home. Her discharge date is circled with a marker on a calendar. かつて入院していた病室。カレンダーには退院予定日にマーカーペンで印がしである。
Some documents sit on the bedside table. On one it reads "For transferring student... Misakihara Middle School." サイドテーブルには、「編転入生の方へ:市立三咲原中学校」と書かれた書類が載っている。
Homura: I'm... still in the hospital? ほむら「私、まだ...退院して、ない?」
Homura sleepily rubs her eyes, then notices the soul gem glowing in her hand. She stares in amazement. ぼんやりと寝惚け眼を擦ろうとしたところで、その手が握っているソウルジェムに気付き、驚きに目を見張るほむら。
Homura: ...It wasn't a dream...!? ほむら「...夢じゃ、ない...ツ!!」

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past)

Morning - Classroom (Parallel World - Past) 朝の教室(平行世界・過去)
Once again, the day Homura transferred in. 再び、ほむら転校初日の光景。
Saotome: Why don't you tell the class your name? 和子「はーぃ、それじゃ自己紹介いってみよー」
Homura: I'm Akemi Homura. Nice to meet you all! ほむら「暁美ほむらですっ!よろしくお願いします!」
Saotome is about to write Homura's name on the blackboard. 黒板にほむらの名前を書こうとする和子。
Saotome: Akemi-san's been in hospital for some... 和子「暁美さんは心臓の病気でずっと...」
Unable to hold back, Glasses-Homura rushes to Madoka's seat. She grasps Madoka's hands, smiling eagerly. だが眼鏡ほむらは待ちかねてずかずかとまどかの席まで歩み寄り、感激の笑顔で、がっしとまどかの手を握る。
Homura: Kaname-san! I became a magical girl too! So let's do our best together from now on! ほむら「鹿目さん!私も魔法少女になったんだよ! これから一緒に戦おうね!」
Madoka: Ah....Ehm....Uh... まどか「あ...えっと...うう...」
Madoka looks frantically around her, bewildered and confused. 困惑するやら慌てるやらで目を白黒させるまどか。
Saotome and the other students are equally stunned. ただ呆然となる和子ほかクラスメイト一同。

Riverside - Beneath an Overpass

Riverside - Beneath an Overpass 河川敷、高架橋下
Madoka, Mami, and Glasses-Homura gather by an otherwise empty riverside with an old oil drum before them. Glasses-Homura holds a golf club nervously. 誰もいない河原に集合しいてろまどか、マミ、眼鏡ほむら。三人の前に仁古びたドラム缶が置かれている。眼鏡ほむらゴルフクラブを手に緊張の面持ち。
Homura: Uh.. Here I go! ほむら「それじゃ、いきます!」
Glasses-Homura transforms. She stops time using the hourglass on her shield. 眼鏡ほむら、魔法少女に変身。盾の砂時計が時間を止める。
While time stood still, Glasses-Homura swings her golf club at the oil drum with all her might. Her movements are clumsy, swinging empty several times, even falling once. 静止した時間の中で、ひたすらゴルフクラブを振り回しドラム缶を殴りまくる眼鏡ほむら。動作はたどたどしく、何度も空振りし、一度ならず転んだりもする。
Time moves once more. Homura sits out of breath. The oil drum rolls before her. そして時間静止解除。息が切れてへたり込んでいる眼鏡ほむらの横で、ボコボコになって転がっているドラム缶。
Uh, Mami ponders with both surprise and confusion. うーん、と呆れ半分、困り半分に考え込むマミ。
Madoka: What do you think, Mami-san? まどか「どう思う?マミさん」
Mami: Time magic, huh...? It's pretty amazing, but you're not using it right. マミ「時間停止ねえ...:確かに凄いけれど、使い方が問題よね」
Homura: O-Okay... ほむら「は、はい...」
Mami: First, no matter how many times you strike, it's useless if it's ineffective. You need a better weapon than a golf club. マミ「まず、いくら一方的に殴れるとはいえ、一発ごとの効き目がないんじゃ意味ないわ。そんな棒きれより、もっと威力のある武器を用意しないと」
Homura looks down at the now-twisted golf club. She looks dejected. ひん曲がったゴルフクラブを見下ろし、しょんぼりするほむら。
Mami: Also, even though no one else touched it, why is the drum in a different position now? マミ「あと、誰も動けなかったはずなのに、ドラム缶の位置が変わってるのは、どうして?」
Homura: It's because... my time-stop cancels for anything I touches, so the oil drum moves whenever I hit it... ほむら「それは...私が触れたものだけ静止が解除されるんで、殴った瞬間にはドラム缶も動いちゃうわけで...」
Mami: This would give your opponent opportunities for counterattack. You need an attack method that doesn't require direct contact with the enemy. マミ「それだと敵にカウンターの機会を与えてしまうわ。時間を止めている問に、相手に一切触れないでダメージを与える方法を考えるべきね」
Homura: I-I understand... ほむら「ゎ、わかりました...」

Homura Room

Homura Room ほむらの部屋
A cozy studio apartment. It hasn't turned into a cluttered mess yet. 小綺麗なワンルームマンション。まだそれほど荒んだ居住空間ではない。
Various tools lay out on the table. Glasses-Homura stares attentively at her laptop. With undivided attention, she diligently builds a pipe bomb. The website reads Hara Hara Tokei Online. テーブルの上に工具を並べ、ノートパソコン首つ引きで、パイプ爆弾を作っている眼鏡ほむら。一心不乱の真剣な熱意。ゥエブブラウザには『腹腹時計オンライン』というタイトル。

Witch Barrier

Witch Barrier 魔女の結界
The spectacle of Madoka, Mami, and glasses-Homura working as a trio in a witch hunt. まどか、マミ、眼鏡ほむらの三人組による魔女退治の光景。
Madoka: (Mami-san, now's our chance!)
First, Mami restraints the witch with binding magic. まずマミが緊縛魔術で魔女を拘束。
Mami: (Okay!... Akemi-san, your turn!)
Madoka takes the opportunity to fire an arrow at the witch. その隙にまどかが弓で攻態。
Homura: (R-Right!)
Glasses-Homura stops time and gingerly leaves a bomb under the witch's feet. She runs away in a hurry. さらに眼鏡ほむらが時間を止め、おっかなびっくり魔女の足元に爆弾を仕掛けて、そそくさと走り去る。
A huge explosion as time resumes, the witch disappears in a cry of pain. 時間静止解除とともに大爆発。悲鳴を上げて消滅する魔女。
Homura: I did it...? I did it! ほむら「ゃった...ゃった!」
Madoka: (You did it!)
Madoka: That was amazing, Homura-chan! まどか「凄いよ、ほむらちゃん!」
Mami: Well done. マミ「お見事ね」
The magical girl trio celebrate their victory. An abandoned factory reappears in view as the Barrier dissipates. A grief seed rolls on the floor. 勝利を喜ぶ魔法少女三人。結界は解けて廃工場の景色に。その床に転がるグリーフシード。

Episode 10 - Draft 0 Investigation

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This episode was about Homura's past. To prevent Madoka's death, Homura suffered through countless timelines. This episode cobbled together events from quite a few of them. Writing this part must been quite difficult?
Gen I was only concerned with minimizing the number of timelines necessary. Script-length wasn't part of my thought process. Content wise, I had a rather difficult time deciding what to cut. "Ah, I'm done!" Then I would thought, "Isn't this too hard to make?" Yet, somehow a script like this was actually accepted! You got to be impressed by the abilities of the staff at SHAFT.
Exactly how many timelines had Homura gone through? Was this settled?
Gen Perhaps too many to count? Perhaps not very many? However, if she gone through a few thousand times, would people think "is she an idiot?" So around this feels about right.
Portions of Mami's special training were cut from Draft 0.
Gen That's right. It had been a long time since Mami's last speaking role. Even though I wanted to reward everyone with this scene, this story was no longer about Mami. Mami acted rather spartan for a training session with a golf club. Maybe Homura was avoiding Mami, because she knew Mami can be so scary (laughs). I have read many novel theories regarding Mami, like "was she actually leading Madoka to be a magical girl?", "How much did she really know?" and such.
『ループの回数自体は、尺を考えて最低限しか書いていないので、そこまででもないんですけど、内容に関しては、自分では判断しかねるというか書き上がったのは良いけどどこを削ったらいいのかもわからなかったので、『えーい、出してしまえ!』と。『まあ、難しいですよね?』と思ってたんですけど、でも、これが通ってしまった! シャフトさんすげえなと思いました」
「そうですね。ひさびさにマミが喋るシーンなので、たくさん見せてあげたいなあと思いつつ、でもマミの話じゃないんだし、と。ゴルフのクラブを使つての特訓で、マミさんがかなりスパルタ。こういう"ての人けつこう怖い"ってところを知っていたから、ほむらはマミを避けたのかもしれない(笑)。マミに関していろいろ考えるとおもしろいですよね。手放しでまどかたちを魔法少女に誘っていたわけでもなかったですしね。どこまで気づいていたのか...? とか」


The Following references were used to produce this translation: